I am in love with one but may of told her too late.

[big_ben50]

I have been involved with "melissa" now for about 10 months; the last few months have been kind of rocky due to my doing. You see I am 27 years old and have only been in true love once in my life. That is until now. Melissa is the kids of person that dreams are made of. But due to my past I chose not to see this. She has truely been in love with me for about half of this time that we have been together. She told me this every day.

For the last 2 months I have tried to push Melissa away from me, making excuses for her to stay away. I have made attacks towards her and her character. called her names ect. and all of this time she was continued to tell me that she would be there for me and that she loved me.

I had a revelation here lately and have realized that Melissa is the one that I cannot live without. I truly believe that the reason that I have done these mean things to her is because of me being scared of getting hurt. I called her this past week to tell her these things and she and I cried togther on the phone she told me that she had gone out with someone the week before but I was the one that she is in love with and that there was nothing there for her. She told me that she wanted me and that she wished to see me. I told her that I would call her back and we could set up something. Well as I called her back she was defensive and had totally changed her demeanor. She was not saying the things to me that I had told her for the last couple of months. I cannot understand this change in the matter of 2 hours.

I have tried to get ahold of her now for the last 3-4 days and she will not return my calls, or even answer the phone when I call her. I have sent her e-mails telling her how I know that she is the one and that I love her, that I am sorry for what I have put her through ect. Still no answer.

What do all of you think is going on here? Please help!

[Kat]

Just be patient. You have attacked this girls character and expect her to come running back? We all get caught up in emotion and maybe she did on the phone, but now she has had time to think, she may be doubting what you said.

 

If you must send her one last email or one lass messege and just tell her that you understand she is confused right now and that you will wait for her. You will accept her decision and will await to hear from her.

 

And that is all. Don't harrass her, but don't ignore her either.

 

Women are a weird bunch

[vixen]

if this were a movie you would prepose to her, but since it's not, i suggest flowers. That would catch my attention. Rosess especially. Send them with a card saying "im stupid" or something to that matter. Make it a delivery she can't refuse, like at her work. Romance is not dead, just forgotten, go don juan on her she'll come round.

[big_ben50]

I would really like to work things out here; I guess that I am just looking for the right approach. I am really confused about the whole thing due to the fact that up until the other night when I professed all of this to her she was calling me at least every other day telling me how she feels for me. Now she will not accept any of my calls or call me. I am so confused here.

She is all that I want in life but I am doubting that she will have me now that I have my feelings sorted out.

[trulyme]

Big ben what you have just described here is EXACTLY what just happen to me about a month ago. WORD FOR WORD. This girl did everything and I just pushed her away. Read this article!

http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/men/menu/articles/0,,426370_590750-1,00.html

I think that it is truly about timing. You were pushing her away for many reasons and now that you don't have it, you want it all back. You think that you have those feelings of love and wanting to settle down now that she is not by your side telling you how much she loves you. Oh how we tend to take that forgranted sometimes. You really think she thinks your ready to commit and confess your love now? Like my ex said,"you did not show me love when you had me, it should not take a break up to get that from you". How the hell can you argue with that??

 

I broke up with my girl and she did nothing but show me love. I have this philosphy that I am to young to settle down (23). Grass is greener type guy. I think it has finally bit me in the a$$ by the way. Then a week later I tried to come crawling back; she took me back...then a few days later was very sketchy. I said I can tell that you are no longer in this. She said," you have hurt me and took me a million steps backwards, I need some space". And I know that this girl was a great girl for me. Only girl I have ever been with that told me, "I think your the one" and truly showed it.

 

I tried roses, a card, called her on xmas and dropped off a couple gifts. NOTHING, no reaction. This girl knows exactly where I stand and there is nothing more I can do except NOT CALL HER. I only called her twice in the whole month we were apart. You broke up with your girl, the ball is in her court. If she wants you back, give her space and MAYBE she will call you in the future. I would say don't even contact her yourself at least for a couple months; and if she does not respond...its probably going to hurt pretty bad. Mine did. And it was only a few weeks later.

 

I like to look at this break up as a time to just sit back and evaluate the relationship objectivley. You lived without her before, then she came into your life and now you know what it is like with that particular girl. Try to go out and meet somemore........if the ex is still on your mind later on, then she was probably something special. If she is not, then you know that she was a learing experience and that you should now acknowledge when you have something good.

 

I know the pain is very real. I could not finish food, cried for a few days thinking about the good times and now I am kinda getting better because I have girls to talk to....and a couple dates lined up. I feel like I am cheating on her, but obviously that is not the case. That is just how much I cared. As I am sure you do. You don't have to forget about the ex....but go out with other girls and it will ease the pain.

 

Trying to win her back feels like the right option. I mean you broke up with them, its your job to get them back right? THAT IS FAIRY TALE. She will respect you more if you tell her how you feel and leave it!!! Give her time to miss you. Her anger towards you right now is highest its ever been since she has known you. She is not thinking clearly cause she hates the fact you broke her heart. Give her time to start to remember what she fell in love with. She will never forget you broke her heart but she might forgive you. That is going to take time!!

 

If what she has for you was real......I would like to think that is hard to let that go. But she will never realize if you are forcing the issue. Her not responding to you right now is an obvious sign that she is not going to communicate. And be honest with yourself to....if you were ready to settle down you would have. Find out what is making you not want to take it to the next step with women and fix it. Unless you like the single life. Women especially in the upper 20's range see 30 approaching and most want to settle (from what I have read).

 

Drew