35 yr old completely LOST in life...sigh...

[jannywanny]

so will be 36 years 'young' this year and am lost..and not sure what to do next.. have worked all my life in the entertainment industry - great work but crap pay...travelled the world...have an amazing personality and great friends...

 

however never had a serious relationship...dont have any savings(well i do but just to keep my ok shuld i lose my job - im not a spender but have rent to pay and dont get paid all that much)...no house...no car at present...never seem to have cash...and in debt(4k which i pay off weekly)

 

i lived in new zealand for 4 years - i loved it for the first year or two..introduced me into a new scene away from 'home' and met different people and partied with the best of them...however after getting pregnant from one night stand and an abortoin fell apart and coult not wait to get back to friends(paretns alive but drinkers and dont feel welcome at home).

 

so back home 2 years now and still unhappy...however have receved my residency to NZ again...my friends think im mad to return...i cant wait...they are all settled here wit kids...i work/drink/sleep and will never be able to afford to purchase a house here..

 

so will i go back to NZ and open myself up to meeting new friends and a different wway of life or stay at home, finish paying my debt and buy a house with my crap wages and be stuck with a mortgage on my own till im 70..

 

for me iits nz hands down...what would you think?

[zebracolors]

Well, if you really feel that you have nothing left keeping you here (wherever "here" is) then its probably a good idea to go back to New Zealand. And make your life there. One thing to remember is to include people in your life. They can sometimes make the bad things in life bearable by being supportive. Since you made friends in NZ, that will help a great deal. Also, you might not really have to be in a hurry to date of course. You can get settled again, and maybe it will happen naturally.

 

I kind of wish I could do the same but I would want to go to England:D

[Jeff1962]

You know your answer already. However, I do feel that you are running away a bit.

 

Something to think about. We all want escape, a better life. No matter where you are on this planet, making a good life is up to you.

 

If your pay sucks, get a second job or look for something else.

 

Only you can deal with your choice of abortion. No blame from me.

 

Good luck to you and I hope that you find what you are looking for.

[In_Repair]

Like Jeff was saying, life is what you make of it. You can be unhappy "here" or unhappy in NZ... it's still the same you in either location. You probably picked your profession because of the secondary "fun" aspects of it, giving little thought to the future. You party too much and act irresponsibly. If you were on the outside looking in, you'd think you were a selfish flake. Is that right?

 

Choices. We all make bad ones from time to time, and sometimes we get swept into one big long string of them. The only way out is to face up to them and decide to make a change. There are tons of programs out there to help people who need it. There are support channels. You have family to somewhat lean on, even if they are a bit dysfunctional. Use any and all resources available to help you while you get things straightened out. Go back to school - get a better job. Learn new things. Meet new people. MAKE your life change... don't just hop on a plane, travel halfway around the world, and then still just sit around wishing it would change.

[jannywanny]

thanks for the replies guys...however I have tried to change very very hard...am in the entertainemtn industry beacuse its my first love - music..its my passion and have worked in various jobs before and music is what i love..end of story..

 

i went back to college at night - worked 40 hrs a week + 3 nights a week for 3 years to get a diploma...and passed!

 

I took up jogging - was overweight for years! I now jog 5K twice a week no worries and from 5 years ago 14stone to now 8stone a big change!

 

Its frustrating..have tried very hard - i immigraated on my own last time - would like to see if you could cope uping and leaving everything and starting a new counrty alone - not knowing anyone...daunting but exhilerating..

 

Family is a no go area - good luck dealing with an alcoholic mother who abuses you. end of story. i deserve better.

 

been there seen that...just fed up with life..put myself out there and nothing comes back to me long term

[In_Repair]

To me, it sounds like you are already changing things... keep it up. It might take years to finally be where you want to be, but it's got to come from inside.

[torranceshipman]

NZ all the way!!! You're about to hit 36 yrs young, you have your whole life ahead of you and a great adventure just waiting to play itself out in a really cool country. Grab the opportunity with both hands, for sure.

 

Most people dream of making a change and most never dare - you're one of the lucky few that has the balls to make it happen.

[torranceshipman]

Like Jeff was saying, life is what you make of it. You can be unhappy "here" or unhappy in NZ... it's still the same you in either location. You probably picked your profession because of the secondary "fun" aspects of it, giving little thought to the future. You party too much and act irresponsibly. If you were on the outside looking in, you'd think you were a selfish flake. Is that right?

 

Choices. We all make bad ones from time to time, and sometimes we get swept into one big long string of them. The only way out is to face up to them and decide to make a change. There are tons of programs out there to help people who need it. There are support channels. You have family to somewhat lean on, even if they are a bit dysfunctional. Use any and all resources available to help you while you get things straightened out. Go back to school - get a better job. Learn new things. Meet new people. MAKE your life change... don't just hop on a plane, travel halfway around the world, and then still just sit around wishing it would change.

 

In this case I disagree...sounds like she had a great time in NZ, but came back because of a trauma (extreme situation, not regular life)-not because she really wanted to live back home. Plus she has a miserable home life with an alcoholic mother - but isnt letting herself get dragged down, has done tons of self improvement, and knows she's too goo for bad family treatment. I think this person has her head screwed on!

[mem11363]

If that is your normal way of life - you are unlikely to meet anyone for something permanent. Nothing wrong with alcohol - but most stable men would never get serious about a hard partying woman.

 

 

so will be 36 years 'young' this year and am lost..and not sure what to do next.. have worked all my life in the entertainment industry - great work but crap pay...travelled the world...have an amazing personality and great friends...

 

however never had a serious relationship...dont have any savings(well i do but just to keep my ok shuld i lose my job - im not a spender but have rent to pay and dont get paid all that much)...no house...no car at present...never seem to have cash...and in debt(4k which i pay off weekly)

 

i lived in new zealand for 4 years - i loved it for the first year or two..introduced me into a new scene away from 'home' and met different people and partied with the best of them...however after getting pregnant from one night stand and an abortoin fell apart and coult not wait to get back to friends(paretns alive but drinkers and dont feel welcome at home).

 

so back home 2 years now and still unhappy...however have receved my residency to NZ again...my friends think im mad to return...i cant wait...they are all settled here wit kids...i work/drink/sleep and will never be able to afford to purchase a house here..

 

so will i go back to NZ and open myself up to meeting new friends and a different wway of life or stay at home, finish paying my debt and buy a house with my crap wages and be stuck with a mortgage on my own till im 70..

 

for me iits nz hands down...what would you think?