donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Did someone call a woman who likes a man to pay for the first date a prostitute? Am I seeing things???? Yeah, but you have to consider the source. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I just don't see why a guy should HAVE to pay every single penny all the time. Yes it's nice, and the offer is nice. Yes we want to feel good about being taken out, but come on... that bill would have been nearly a $100. Guys how would you feel if a girl told you "You'd get a second date with me if you pay for this one and the next in full"? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 This thinly veiled insult is beneath you, Lishy. Donna I am not kidding! I am sorry if it insults you but you have people on here calling girls who let guys pay, prostitutes! That is not cool! I want to be treated like a lady, I want to feel like I have been taken out, I am not cheap or after men for money, I have plenty of my own. Its my personal preference and I dont think it is wrong to feel that way. I have been known to pay for whole weekends away when I am in a relationship, I will cook and look after my man and I want to be with a guy who looks after me back and makes me feel special. A guy who gets out a calculator to half a bill does nothing for me! I couldnt be with a tight ass guy so its a deal breaker for me! I did not mean to offend you Donna, as I am sure you know Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Donna I am not kidding! I am sorry if it insults you but you have people on here calling girls who let guys pay, prostitutes! That is not cool! I want to be treated like a lady, I want to feel like I have been taken out, I am not cheap or after men for money, I have plenty of my own. Its my personal preference and I dont think it is wrong to feel that way. I have been known to pay for whole weekends away when I am in a relationship, I will cook and look after my man and I want to be with a guy who looks after me back and makes me feel special. A guy who gets out a calculator to half a bill does nothing for me! I couldnt be with a tight ass guy so its a deal breaker for me! I did not mean to offend you Donna, as I am sure you know So being treated like a lady means you don't have to pay? I like being treated like a lady, but to me that doesn't involve money. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I think people are forgetting the situation in this original thread The GUY paid for dinner, the THE GUY decided they should go for dessert in an expensive plave and then THE GUY let the girl pay! There would be nothing wrong with the girl saying "hey seeing as you paid foir dinner, lets go to some cool place i know for dessert on me" But that was not the case! He suggested it and he let her pay even though it came to more than the dinner he bought! It is as if he was getting his moneys worth and that is low rent and he does not deserve another date Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 So being treated like a lady means you don't have to pay? I like being treated like a lady, but to me that doesn't involve money. Yes DG, thats what it means! I want to feel taken out and if the guy suggested a place to go for dessert I would not expect to pay for it. If I suggested it then yes I would pay It is not about the money DG, its the principle Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I just don't see why a guy should HAVE to pay every single penny all the time. Yes it's nice, and the offer is nice. Yes we want to feel good about being taken out, but come on... that bill would have been nearly a $100. Guys how would you feel if a girl told you "You'd get a second date with me if you pay for this one and the next in full"? I think, in this day and age, if someone has expectations, they should bring them to light BEFORE the date, particularly if it revolves around money AND if the date is expected to be expensive. For example, I was taken to Vegas and was told, after I made it clear I was a single mom and couldn't afford to spend money on dinners out and such, that I was to bring NO money. The guy WAS loaded, and he REALLY wanted to take me to a concert. I discussed this today in another thread. I would have been happy with a buffet, but he insisted that we eat at the MGM Grand. He had made reservations and said, "Now dinner is going to be GREAT, so don't eat anything today if you can help it. It'll be worth the wait." Dinner wound up being a minimum of $100 a plate and, instead of getting out his credit card, we shared a seafood appetizer that was maybe 2 oz. seafood each. I was STARVING by the time the concert was over at 11:30! That whole situation was completely of his making, thus, I was NOT very happy with him. If money was an issue after I told him I couldn't afford to spend anything, we should have made plans for the buffet at a cheaper restaurant. I'd have been very happy with that. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Donna I am not kidding! I am sorry if it insults you but you have people on here calling girls who let guys pay, prostitutes! That is not cool! I want to be treated like a lady, I want to feel like I have been taken out, I am not cheap or after men for money, I have plenty of my own. Its my personal preference and I dont think it is wrong to feel that way. I have been known to pay for whole weekends away when I am in a relationship, I will cook and look after my man and I want to be with a guy who looks after me back and makes me feel special. A guy who gets out a calculator to half a bill does nothing for me! I couldnt be with a tight ass guy so its a deal breaker for me! I did not mean to offend you Donna, as I am sure you know I know that hon. But, to be fair to the men, there are MANY women who truly are offended if a guy tries to pay for everything on a date. I have met some real psychos where the whole "feminist movement" crap is concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Did you go out with him again Donna? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Did you go out with him again Donna? No, and the other reason I didn't, which I also brought out in the other thread, was because after his friends, with whom we stayed in Vegas, were kind enough to let us use their gorgeous, expensive pickup truck to drive to the Grand Canyon and HE chomped on Doritos and got crumbs all over, I was the one who had to continue to badger him over and over to look through their house to find cleaning stuff so we could clean his friends' truck. It wouldn't have been done if I hadn't stayed on him about it. THAT was the sealer of THAT deal. The dinner thing was just a minor annoyance, but the truck issue was big, at least in my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Then she should have taken up on his offer to split or kept her hand out of her wallet. He probably didn't know what to do. If my guy wants to pay for me, then that's awesome and I'll be doing something to treat him. But I don't expect it. Just as he doesn't expect me to wait on him. Passing on a guy just because he didn't pay is sad if you ask me. You don't know what you could be missing out on. And I still want to know how guys would feel about being dumped solely on the fact that they didn't pay for the entire date? Doesn't that make you feel like an ATM machine? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Also, to clarify the dinner in Vegas thing, I was told to not eat all day and was about 800 miles from home with no money, and he knew that in advance. HUGE difference between my situation and the OP's. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 well Donna see that situation, the whole "dont eat it will be worth it" and then nadda, would have turned me off so much I would not have been able to look at him! I would rather a guy make sandwiches at home and a flask and eat it on the grass than do that! Some men have no clue and your date was one of them. He did not deserve you and I am so glad you kicked him to the kerb. No respect for someones elses property is also a sign of low class Why is dating so hard? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Yes DG, thats what it means! I want to feel taken out and if the guy suggested a place to go for dessert I would not expect to pay for it. If I suggested it then yes I would pay It is not about the money DG, its the principle Sorry but a guy can make me feel like a lady by doing many other things that don't involve money. I will not dump a guy just because we went dutch. There's more to people then their wallet. I think, in this day and age, if someone has expectations, they should bring them to light BEFORE the date, particularly if it revolves around money AND if the date is expected to be expensive. Hence why I find out first. I'm not going to assume my dinner and drinks are being paid for. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 So am I! That is exactly it. Women who think very little of themselves, act like that because they don't feel like they are worth a man taking them out. Or they are just happy a man even gave them the time of day. They will also offer themselves up sexually for little to virtually NO effort on the guy's part. And how do those situations end? Always in the exact same way, the man was never interested, the girl guessing and wondering where she went wrong and why he won't call. Here's the answer "it all started with you telling him that you are ok with being the pursuer from the get-go" When you do that with a guy you can pretty much expect to be the one orchestrating the entire relationship if there is even a chance for a relationship because more than likely the same guy whom you had to push and prod to see you and take you out (while you pay your way and even his (I've seen women actually do this yuck!) he will also turn around and be the instant pursuer (paying for dates and all) when he meets a woman that really wow's him. If he is not trying to proactively be the pursuer early on, you haven't wowed him or you've showed him straight up that you will do whatever he wants with little to no effort on his part at all..sign sealed and delivered. Simple as that. Wow. Pretty presumptuous and ignorant. Just because a woman feels it's "fair" to pay for part of a date, she is now a worthless slut? Maybe I should call all the gals who think a man should pay their way gold diggers. It would only be fair. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 You were taken to Vegas, you couldn't spring 50$ for dinner after the guy spent all that money on you to take you away? You can accept a weekend at Vegas but don't have $50 to share a dinner with him? C'mon that seems like you are taking a free ride almost. He knew I couldn't afford an f'ing dime. I was a single mom and had just moved 1,500 and had a new job. He knew it, and he knew I couldn't go unless he paid for everything. He wanted me to go. Simple as that. So maybe I'm not the "worthless slut" you've described in your prior post. Oh, and by the way, we didn't have sex on that little trip. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Also, to clarify the dinner in Vegas thing, I was told to not eat all day and was about 800 miles from home with no money, and he knew that in advance. HUGE difference between my situation and the OP's. It is a HUGE difference. You talked about it all previously. Also, from what I understood, dessert and dinner where his idea. So who's idea was drinks? That wasn't in the game plan. But he should pay for that too and if not be dumped. Get real. If it's not about the money, why is the title of the thread "I paid more"? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I would rather a guy make sandwiches at home and a flask and eat it on the grass than do that! EXACTLY! Like I said, the $5 buffet would have been just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Using your logic don't you think it would have been fair for you to pay for half the dinner that night in Vegas then or better yet treat him? After all, he did pay for everything else that weekend what's wrong with you in fact treating him to dinner that night? that would be a fair NON-gold digging thing to do when a man takes you away for a weekend like that. But then again what do I know, apparently I am just a prostitute! Obviously you missed the point. I would have been perfectly happy staying home with my full refrigerator and cupboards. Good gawd. I think everyone gets it but you. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 No I got it, you expected an entire free ride just because you couldn't afford Vegas, but was very happy to go and accept him paying for every inch of the trip. It's pretty clear. I got it. This one'll be single for life. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Poker, Donna explained why she took no money! See this is the thing .. people read half of the writing and then bang on with assumptions! Just like the OP did not suggest dessert and yet ended up paying for it and Donna told the guy PRE DATE that she had no money and he told her she didnt need any and then left her hungry .... it both relates back to the same thing CHEAPNESS!!!!! It is not about the money, its the principle! If a guy is standing there waiting for you to pay for something that HE suggested then he is not worth the bother! If he is like that on a first date then things will only get worse! I have been on dates where the guy got the cinema tickets and so I got the popcorn and drinks but it was MY choice, he wasnt standing there looking at me gormlessley waiting for me to pay! It is one thing choosing to get drinks or dinner but another when the guy plays "lets see who can get their wallet out the slowest" on a first date! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 No I got it, you expected an entire free ride just because you couldn't afford Vegas, but was very happy to go and accept him paying for every inch of the trip. It's pretty clear. I got it. Um no. DM stated that she told him she couldn't afford the trip. She has priorities, oh like feeding her children. He could have either waited to take her when she had the money, or accept that he was going to have to spring for the trip. She didn't HAVE to go. She wasn't BEGGING to go. It's not like she went on a date, and just assumed she was going to have a free meal, dessert, and drink ticket. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Just like the OP did not suggest dessert and yet ended up paying for it and Donna told the guy PRE DATE that she had no money and he told her she didnt need any and then left her hungry .... it both relates back to the same thing CHEAPNESS!!!!! Did you miss the part where OP had unspoken expectations where as DM didn't? It is not about the money, its the principle! If a guy is standing there waiting for you to pay for something that HE suggested then he is not worth the bother! If he is like that on a first date then things will only get worse! I didn't see where it said he suggested drinks. I doubt dessert cost 45 bucks. I have been on dates where the guy got the cinema tickets and so I got the popcorn and drinks but it was MY choice, he wasnt standing there looking at me gormlessley waiting for me to pay! It is one thing choosing to get drinks or dinner but another when the guy plays "lets see who can get their wallet out the slowest" on a first date! And it was HER choice to pull out her wallet. She did that, and is now complaining about it. He offered to split the last bill. She could have accepted that offer. People aren't ATMs. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 (edited) Did you miss the part where OP had unspoken expectations where as DM didn't? Yeah she expected that because he suggested dessert that he would be paying ... and rightly so! I didn't see where it said he suggested drinks. I doubt dessert cost 45 bucks. Yes dessert cost £45 you have drinks with dessert where I come from And it was HER choice to pull out her wallet. She did that, and is now complaining about it. He offered to split the last bill. She could have accepted that offer. He offered to split after an awkward silence where she felt so uncomfortable that she reached for her purse and then he started playing the "how slow can you get ya wallet" game. When she stopped he stopped too ... Cringey and pathetic, they he half heartedly offered to pay half .. I would have done the same as her, paid and then ignore his ass! People aren't ATMs. Yep you are right they are not, and people should not ask other people to do things if they are not willing to pay! If he could not afford dessert he should have just gone home or for a coffee! As he learned to his peril! Anyway DG, lets just agree to disagree as I will never come around to your way of thinking on this one nor you mine! Edited January 20, 2010 by Lishy Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I could be wrong, but I think OP is from the states, and in the states, drinks don't just come with dessert. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts