Lishy Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I could be wrong, but I think OP is from the states, and in the states, drinks don't just come with dessert. and your point is? Are you not bored of defending why men should not take women out and pay? Are you used to paying for dates or something? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Um no. DM stated that she told him she couldn't afford the trip. She has priorities, oh like feeding her children. He could have either waited to take her when she had the money, or accept that he was going to have to spring for the trip. She didn't HAVE to go. She wasn't BEGGING to go. It's not like she went on a date, and just assumed she was going to have a free meal, dessert, and drink ticket. And, yes, I HAD bought us drinks at a previous date. PF doesn't WANT to get it. Apparently she's never had a guy offer to take her to Vegas. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I read what she wrote perfectly clear thanks for translating. Still doesn't change my point. What it boils down it is exactly the same thing. If she did not even have $50 to take the guy out for a quick bite one night as a return favor for a fabulous trip he took her on she should not have gone away. That is how I see a man treating me, to something I expect and would desire to treat him at least some of the weekend in return. Not to mention that if sex was out of the equation, due it being too soon and early on, what the heck would I be doing with a man I just met on a weekend in Vegas!?!?! What if something happened to her and she needed emergency money to get home did she not even have that? If you can set aside money for emergency then you can set aside some money to offer a gesture of gratitude to a man who was not only nice enough to take you away on a paid weekend, but who you are also supposedly romantically interested in. If I were interested in a man I would not hesitate to treat him to something while we are on an all expense trip he took me on, I would not go away if I can't afford to part with $50. But that's just me. It's woman who do that kind of thing that give other women who are fair about what they expect from men, the title of GOLD DIGGER! ahhh see you didnt read what she wrote, you interpreted what you wanted to so I will say it again ... SHE DIDNT HAVE ANY MONEY! she TOLD him that PRE date and he told her she didnt need any! Get it? She is not a magician who could magically conjure up $50 and I am sure if she had money she would not have sat all night eating 2 prawns and a mussel would she? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 No not Vegas, just Europe for a week. Yeah. Okay. If you say so... :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 ahhh see you didnt read what she wrote, you interpreted what you wanted to so I will say it again ... SHE DIDNT HAVE ANY MONEY! she TOLD him that PRE date and he told her she didnt need any! Get it? She is not a magician who could magically conjure up $50 and I am sure if she had money she would not have sat all night eating 2 prawns and a mussel would she? Thanks, Lishy, but I get it. She's jealous because she's never been asked away on a trip like that and is now making up European vacations to make herself look better. Let her have her little delusions. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 and your point is? Are you not bored of defending why men should not take women out and pay? Are you used to paying for dates or something? Ugh my point is that having dessert doesn't mean that drinks are automatically included. But she still expected him to pay, even though (since you claim that if a guy offers this when asking you out, he should pay) he didn't ask her out for drinks. I am actually often paid for, but I do like to chip in. I also make it clear before the date on whose paying what ect ect, as in I don't want to just make expectations. And, yes, I HAD bought us drinks at a previous date. PF doesn't WANT to get it. Apparently she's never had a guy offer to take her to Vegas. When my ex fiance and I were just dating he offered to take me to Vegas. I told him what I could afford, and that was fine with him. I didn't want to go assuming he'd be paying. But I couldn't afford more then x amount. Regardless, she was going to have to pay one way or another this guy was going to make her pay. That is 100% for sure. Why is that such a fact? Whose to say past dates he went on weren't with girls who don't like guys paying for everything? Maybe those are the kind of dates he's had in the past. He can't read OP's mind. Not everyone shares the same view point. No an ATM just spits out money, treating someone to a date is not spitting money it is one of many ways a person shows desire for someone and gratitude for an enjoyable night out. Just like when a woman cooks a man dinner she is not a chef, she is just a woman showing a man gratitude for his company and showing her romantic interest in him. But a guy shouldn't expect a dinner being cooked for him, just as a girl shouldn't expect a guy to pay her way for everything. You expect an ATM to give you money. Just as OP and others expect a guy to pay. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 That is exactly my point, do not go away with a man if you cannot even rub two cents together. That to me shows no class if a guy is treating you you should at least treat him back somewhat. That shows class and that you are not just out for a free ride. So why should OP get to go out with a guy and expect he will pay? Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 When my ex fiance and I were just dating he offered to take me to Vegas. I told him what I could afford, and that was fine with him. I didn't want to go assuming he'd be paying. But I couldn't afford more then x amount. Just as I told THIS guy in advance that I couldn't afford Vegas. He still wanted me to go. His choice. At least I let him KNOW what I could and could not afford at the time. AND my decision to not date him again wasn't based on what he spent or did not spend on me. It was his lackadaisical attitude over cleaning up his friends' truck. Which I did after he found me the cleaning stuff, which I thought was the least I could do after all. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Yeah. Okay. If you say so... :lmao: ......................... And I'm not a single broke mom. I own a beautiful home on 40 acres - all by my little self. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Because in the early courting stages that will set the precedence for who is pursing who, men who tend to be lazy about picking up the tab on the first few dates will also be lazy in many other respects in the relationship. It's as simple as that really. Ahh, so you DO expect to have money handed to you then in return for dates. I get it. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Because in the early courting stages that will set the precedence for who is pursing who, men who tend to be lazy about picking up the tab on the first few dates will also be lazy in many other respects in the relationship. It's as simple as that really. If it was so simple then everyone would be on the same page. The fact is not all women feel that a guy should pay every cent all the time when dating, there for a man cannot know what to do each and every time if it's not voiced. Just as I told THIS guy in advance that I couldn't afford Vegas. He still wanted me to go. His choice. At least I let him KNOW what I could and could not afford at the time. AND my decision to not date him again wasn't based on what he spent or did not spend on me. It was his lackadaisical attitude over cleaning up his friends' truck. Which I did after he found me the cleaning stuff, which I thought was the least I could do after all. Which is why I think your experience here is way different then just assuming you're going to get a free meal ticket with drinks to boot. Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 and people can throw their little "prostitute" labels around all they want when in actuality the label should be "cheapskate confused little man" Did someone call a woman who likes a man to pay for the first date a prostitute? Am I seeing things???? Ouchie. Truth hurts don't it? The defensive attitude is cool too, we all react that way to cognitive dissonance, just further proves my points. Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I love how this is devolving into a spat over which poster has had men spend more money on them, makes my meerkat fur all warm and tingly. Keep it coming! Who got more money out of men, donnamaybe or poker face? the suspense is killing us! stay tuned for more on "THE PRICE IS RIGHT!" Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I love how this is devolving into a spat over which poster has had men spend more money on them, makes my meerkat fur all warm and tingly. Keep it coming! Who got more money out of men, donnamaybe or poker face? the suspense is killing us! stay tuned for more on "THE PRICE IS RIGHT!" LOL I was just about to comment, it's kind of funny how this post turned the women against eachother. Maybe it was me meerkat. Maybe I am like sea biscuit in for the win at the last leg of the race. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 LOL I was just about to comment, it's kind of funny how this post turned the women against eachother. No. Just ALL the woman against one ignorant one who is frothing at the mouth because she hasn't been asked to go to Vegas on a trip. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 First of all a prostitute renders sexual favors for money, I do nothing of the sort. I render sex exclusively in a trusting mutually respecting and loving relationship. I'm very confident in WHO and WHAT I am. Most of all, I retaliate your comments for all the young impressionable women who are reading out there, hoping they will walk away with a little nugget of wisdom that is not only based on reason, but that can also aid them in leading more successful ties with men that are mutually beneficial to both genders. I don't think anyone should have to apologise to men OR women for what they believe. Call me a prostitute, a gold digger, needy, dependent on men. I don't care, does that get you to sleep at night? The reality is I don't either, exchange sexual favors for money, I am not with my partner because of his financial ability. I care about who he is as a person. I still pay my own bills and my shopping. I am capable of and do plenty of things a man could do for me on my own. Some girl is pissy because she feels she had to work harder than another girl who has a man pay her way? That's her problem. Some guy pissy because he's a whiney baby mad that a girl gets "special treatment" ? That's his problem. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I haven't turned on anyone. I just don't share the belief that a guy should be dumped because he didn't know that it was expected that he should pay. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Speaking of ignorance and Vegas, people do know Vegas is where they take skanky women to fck and chuck them right? Or that is what I hear at least..... it's so not my scene! Way to give a clear example of ignorance. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 First of all a prostitute renders sexual favors for money, I do nothing of the sort. I render sex exclusively in a trusting mutually respecting and loving relationship. I'm very confident in WHO and WHAT I am. Most of all, I retaliate your comments for all the young impressionable women who are reading out there, hoping they will walk away with a little nugget of wisdom that is not only based on reason, but that can also aid them in leading more successful ties with men that are mutually beneficial to both genders. I hope they walk away with more than the tee shirt that says "He BOUGHT my love" You're right, prostitutes sell sex acts for money. Just sex acts. You sell your love.....so much better yeah? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 He knew exactly what he was doing, read the first post: Speaking of ignorance and Vegas, people do know Vegas is where they take skanky women to fck and chuck them right? Or that is what I hear at least..... it's so not my scene! Really? I just got back - married to someone who didn't have to pay me to love him. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 OP, don't take this the wrong way, because it's not meant to be a mean thing. But given your history with giving up sex/sexual acts and then telling the guy you want to wait and not do it anymore, and that you now want to wait (which if you are going to stay with that concept) till marriage, your options are going to be a lot smaller. Maybe you shouldn't come down on a dude so hard for asking to split the SECOND bill with you Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Most of all, I retaliate your comments for all the young impressionable women who are reading out there, hoping they will walk away with a little nugget of wisdom that is not only based on reason, but that can also aid them in leading more successful ties with men that are mutually beneficial to both genders. I'm sure they are most grateful for your sage assistance. I walk away with a "little nugget" from all your posts too! But is "wisdom" always so brown and smelly? Link to post Share on other sites
jw90063 Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 So we had a first date Saturday night. For dinner, the bill came out to be $35, which he offered to pay which was nice. Then we went to get desert and drinks. The bill came out to be $45. I slowly went for my purse to see if he'd offer to pay. He slowly went for his wallet too lol. And I mean I was really slow, but he didn't seem keen on paying, so I opened up my purse and put my card in the bill while he watched me fiddle with the broken flap. I put the bill on the table THEN he takes out his card and was like 'want to split it'? At that point, it was just awkward since I already put in my card so I just said 'no it's fine I'll get it'. He thanked me. Eventhough he offered to split, he wasn't sincere about it. He texted me the day after and called me this morning. But to be honest, I was pretty turned off that I ended up paying more than him on our first date. Is this a yay or nay?? I can't believe this topic would cause such an uproar. I haven't read nearly ALL these posts, but based on the first one, he offered to pay the $35. What did you say OP after that? I mean if you really made him think you wanted to pay, maybe he was confused. Also, why did you start opening your purse after the drinks and dessert if he already said he would get it prior to this?! In my experience, the guy is usually more aggressive in paying on first date, but again, its the first date. Some people do things differently. If you logically think about this, it does seems more reasonable to split it, because you both don't really know each other at this point. I think you should have said yes when he said he wanted to split it. I can still see feeling a bit funny about it, but if you seemed very persistent in paying for the meal, maybe he took it as you really wanted to. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I'm just telling you what I've heard, and hence why I have no desire for a trip to a place like "Vegas"! Hence the ignorance. It's amazing what women tell themselves in order to make excuses for the fact that they settle for men who won't treat them out. If it works for you and you don't feel you are worth special attentions from men and in fact you would rather pay for guys to be with you, more power to you, it doesn't and never will work for me. What does the special attention from men have to be money involved for you?? Because let's get one thing straight, if men pay us to love them then that means that the opposite of that, which is what some of you women are, is that you pay them to love you. Um no. No one said we pay all the time either. No matter how I look at it it's still looking much nicer from my side of things, you've got to admit that at least. :lmao: No PS Congrats on your marriage in Vegas, (is that what you meant?) you had better not be wearing an engagement ring, wouldn't want people to think he paid you to love him. Really? This is your defense to your point of the debate? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenGL Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 I didn't read any of this thread, why is it 22 pages? Link to post Share on other sites
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