donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 :lmao: But I have a hard time thinking it's her personality that's getting her all these wonderful gifts. Ya think?! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Ya think?! I can't really envision her playing Martha Stewart in the kitchen, cooking up some dinner for her man either. I bet he had to hire a chef for that. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 It's not the Nissan you should worry about it is the fact that this is the same boyfriend you started a post about a year ago that said "I can't stand my boyfriend" this is also the same guy who is an alcoholic, who disrespects you, who cheated on you with other women and whom you have broken up several times (are still with) and whom you have gone to therapy about only to conclude he "lacks" empathy? This IS the same guy you have been with for 4 yrs. We CLEARLY have very different standards when it comes to men. My boyfriend doesn't drink, he'll have the odd wine to accompany me (I love wine) and he treats me like gold, you do the math! Again, it all started from a great first date where he showed me he was going to be respectful of me from the get-go. I know what I am talking about do you? Yeah, I'm sure it's much EASIER to hop from one bed to another after being purchased for the mere price of a dinner out than to actually WORK on a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 It's not the Nissan you should worry about it is the fact that this is the same boyfriend you started a post about a year ago that said "I can't stand my boyfriend" this is also the same guy who is an alcoholic, who disrespects you, who cheated on you with other women and whom you have broken up several times (are still with) and whom you have gone to therapy about only to conclude he "lacks" empathy? This IS the same guy you have been with for 4 yrs. Reality check .... this is the real world. Crappy stuff happens. And we accept it, and deal with it, and process it. And we are better for it because we have experience and then we learn from it. We don't go hide away in a spa to avoid life's unpleasant areas. I'd still rather have gone through everything I have then have someone shove a silver spoon in my mouth to shut me up. We CLEARLY have very different standards when it comes to men. My boyfriend doesn't drink, he'll have the odd wine to accompany me (I love wine) and he treats me like gold, you do the math! Again, it all started from a great first date where he showed me he was going to be respectful of me from the get-go. I know what I am talking about do you? You mean he gives you gold. Just because a guy lavishes you with gifts doesn't make him a winner. Just because a guy pays for everything on a first date doesn't mean he's perfect. Money doesn't make a man. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Well keep guessing because you have no clue what you are talking about. So because I met and subsequently entered into a relationship with a man who is successful that proves what point exactly? What's your point that you don't have what it takes to be with a decent successful man? I am missing your point here. Other than the fact that you feel very strongly about degrading any woman who benefits from a man's every attention. I have been with all sorts of men from varying backgrounds, but they all had one running common theme to them, they were all decent men who took the time to get to know me, and they did not believe in letting a woman pay on a first date. I date classy men who are driven, so sue me for having standards! Maybe if women kept their legs closed and and their "equality spewing" mouths shut on a first date they could have nice things done for them too. The point was if you are going to show up in a Porsche to take me out to dinner, you would have to be a freaking joker to pull out a calculator at the end of dinner and ask for half the bill! The fact that you needed to share that your BF has a porche proves my point and also how you act, proves my point of your age/maturity level. And you just assumed I don't have a decent man, I do have a decent man. And unlike you, I won't brag about his wealth, but aside from any monetary worth he has, he's a decent man I'll give you an example, this may make your head spin, but try to hang in there k?! This week I've been really ill. He took me to the hospital, stayed with me while he was suppose to be at his son's game, took me home, Slept over, got me food. He has come over every night this week to make sure I had food and was ok. He paid for my groceries last night and would not take a DIME from me, but by the weekend, I will cook him some good eats and he'll make sure I get the things I need to get better. See how it works? It's not about "Hey everyone, look at me, my BF is DECENT, he drives a porche and takes me on trips" MEMEMEMEMME is all you talk about Love is not all about MEMEMEME, it's about doing for one another. When you wear your big girl panties one day, you'll get what I'm saying here Oh and i need to add, my BF makes a SH*TLOAD of money, is he decent in your eyes now?! Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Do big girls with self respect stay in a long term relationship with a cheating alcoholic? Not that I know of. Self respect starts from date one, you either have it or you don't. My BF has not cheated but he is an recovering alcoholic. I'm flattered that you read my other posts (blushing) But you see, this is a GREAT example of love sweetheart, I didn't throw him away because he struggles with an illness. I went to Al Anon to try to understand him and stuck it out through all the CR&P he's put me through. It's called UNCONDITIONAL love, check it out one day, you'll be glad you did! And to throw a pain in someone face when they have the courage to share, shows again, your level of maturity! Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 It's not the Nissan you should worry about it is the fact that this is the same boyfriend you started a post about a year ago that said "I can't stand my boyfriend" this is also the same guy who is an alcoholic, who disrespects you, who cheated on you with other women and whom you have broken up several times (are still with) and whom you have gone to therapy about only to conclude he "lacks" empathy? This IS the same guy you have been with for 4 yrs. We CLEARLY have very different standards when it comes to men. My boyfriend doesn't drink, he'll have the odd wine to accompany me (I love wine) and he treats me like gold, you do the math! Again, it all started from a great first date where he showed me he was going to be respectful of me from the get-go. I know what I am talking about do you? Again, I'm flattered. Learn about life before you throw things in other's faces. Someone sent me a pm and called you a "C", she was bang on with that analogy of you! Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I'm not the one in Vegas with a guy I hardly know, in a borrowed pick up truck watching my date eat Doritos with not a penny to my name to get my own dinner. Sorry to burst your little bubble, but it was a $250 ticket to Paul McCartney, actually. And your inability to comprehend is STILL showing. Yeah - I took a 5 day weekend trip to Vegas and spent 80% of the time driving there! But, then again, in your state of mind, you are probably VERY "blissful." Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Reality check .... this is the real world. Crappy stuff happens. And we accept it, and deal with it, and process it. And we are better for it because we have experience and then we learn from it. We don't go hide away in a spa to avoid life's unpleasant areas. I'd still rather have gone through everything I have then have someone shove a silver spoon in my mouth to shut me up. You mean he gives you gold. Just because a guy lavishes you with gifts doesn't make him a winner. Just because a guy pays for everything on a first date doesn't mean he's perfect. Money doesn't make a man. Thank you Dream, only someone with a real heart would understand my pains My jounrey with my BF has been a bittersweet symphony, As much pain as there has been is as much learning as I've done about who I am I don't regret one second of it :-) hugs Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 ......................... Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Yes crappy stuff happens and then you get out, you don't stay in an abusive relationship and then stand on a high horse telling other women what they should expect out of men when they get to be in their 40's when you are 43 and in an abusive sick relationship yourself that is based on complete disrespect. That is AS nuts as pulling out a calculator on a first date an telling a woman to pay for here half! I KNOW that when I am 40 I will not be like that. ? you're seriously a useless human being Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 ok, so Poker is now a non issue for me. She's obviously has some mental issues, so attacking back would bring me to her lower level Now back to the topic.......... Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Thank you Dream, only someone with a real heart would understand my pains My jounrey with my BF has been a bittersweet symphony, As much pain as there has been is as much learning as I've done about who I am I don't regret one second of it :-) hugs And you should regret it. It makes us who we are, and we know that there's more to life then what someone drives. Yes crappy stuff happens and then you get out, you don't stay in an abusive relationship and then stand on a high horse telling other women what they should expect out of men when they get to be in their 40's when you are 43 and in an abusive sick relationship yourself that is based on complete disrespect. That is AS nuts as pulling out a calculator on a first date an telling a woman to pay for here half! I KNOW that when I am 40 I will not be like that. No, when you are 40 you'll be collected alimony from some chump or be collecting someone's money when they die. I don't do "unconditional love" when it comes to romance, that's for people with low standards. If you have no conditions I will also conclude that you are fine with him dating other women and you must sleep with other men too, that is the true definition of unconditional no conditions, no expectations just a free open tie. Doesn't work for me sorry, so no I won't be "checking that out" Of course you don't do unconditional love. Why would you stand by a man who truly loves you and whom you truly love back. The truth is, is you couldn't handle the real world. you're seriously a useless human being Understatement. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 No your journey with your boyfriend is a perfect example of low self esteem and why some women feel they are not worth more than being with some drunken freak who masturbates in front of his children. That's hardly a "bittersweet symphony" it is a shame. We are stronger because of our experiences. What are you? You've already claimed to have little experience. If karma has it's way... you're going to end up as a divorced house wife who wont be able to make it because you've spent your whole life being pampered and don't understand the concept of how the world really works. As much as I'd love to stick around and listen to how much better you are then the rest of us... I got to go do some female bonding with my friend today and take care of things that I don't expect a man to do for me Link to post Share on other sites
thegreatmoose Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 My BF has not cheated but he is an recovering alcoholic. I'm flattered that you read my other posts (blushing) But you see, this is a GREAT example of love sweetheart, I didn't throw him away because he struggles with an illness. I went to Al Anon to try to understand him and stuck it out through all the CR&P he's put me through. It's called UNCONDITIONAL love, check it out one day, you'll be glad you did! And to throw a pain in someone face when they have the courage to share, shows again, your level of maturity! You give someone unconditional love who can't control his alcohol and you defend males in here who post like immature junior high school students. Explain that. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 You give someone unconditional love who can't control his alcohol and you defend males in here who post like immature junior high school students. Explain that. my defending these guys was not a slight towards you. You just made a comment that women in this thread were not happy with Johnny. I said I was. I don't agree with how he diss'ed you because I think it's awesome that you would be willing to pay for the first date. Now having said this, my BF has been sober for 19 months. He no longer drinks and he also quit smoking after 32 yrs of smoking. If you understand the dynamics of addiction, you would understand how tough a disease it is to fight. I'm only now, with therapy and al anon, learning about unconditional love. Meaning, every person (even horrible Poker face) is deserving of love and understanding. It doesn't mean I'm happy my BF has made mistakes, but I am happy he's working HARD at changing his life. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Oh you didn't get the memo? It's ok for her to dish out insults left and right every time someone posts something she doesn't agree with but when someone dishes it back she pulls the card. If you are going to dish it out don't turn into a cry baby when people also throw it right back at you. Take it like a man, isn't that what you want to be anyway? Yes but I did not pull out info people come to this site to share and use it as a daggar. You did! When people come here to share, deep and intimate details of their pain, you DO NOT use it as a weapon to attack. You can address the thread topic and attack the topic at head, but to use a persons pains as an attack is sick! I hope you get banned (AGAIN Tomcat33) from this site for doing this. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 my defending these guys was not a slight towards you. You just made a comment that women in this thread were not happy with Johnny. I said I was. I don't agree with how he diss'ed you because I think it's awesome that you would be willing to pay for the first date. Now having said this, my BF has been sober for 19 months. He no longer drinks and he also quit smoking after 32 yrs of smoking. If you understand the dynamics of addiction, you would understand how tough a disease it is to fight. I'm only now, with therapy and al anon, learning about unconditional love. Meaning, every person (even horrible Poker face) is deserving of love and understanding. It doesn't mean I'm happy my BF has made mistakes, but I am happy he's working HARD at changing his life. :-) Congratulations, RD. Sometimes there are hurdles to overcome. The strong work to get past those hurdles. The weak just throw in the towel and move on to another person. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Congratulations, RD. Sometimes there are hurdles to overcome. The strong work to get past those hurdles. The weak just throw in the towel and move on to another person. Thanks Donna, it's been a RIDE but I've learned a lot about life and me and love and mostly PATIENTS ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 You say that, yet this is how you introduce yourself into the discussion refering to me and attacking me directly? Those comments had what to do with the original discussion and how were you "attacking the thread topic" that was personal attacks on me? But now we are supposed to feel sorry for you? If you can't take it don't dish it out. useless!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 This thread has turned brutal and didn't need to be. We're not talking about life and death, just about paying for the first date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 I'm not arguing against chivalry. Where was I arguing about it? Well you're going to have MANY MANY MANY ex bf's if you keep up this childish behaviour. You don't throw people away for one silly thing. Maybe he's cheap, but maybe he's overly generous with other aspects of his life. I would rather have a cheap guy with a great heart than a guy who pays for every meal who's a total douche! And why would I find another BF?! I don't throw them away as easily as you I'm 43, been with him for 4 yrs and think I'll keep this one, thanks! You see you misunderstood me already! I said your current bf is great partly BECAUSE he's chivalrious and wants to pay for you eventhough he's not obligated to! Hence, you will feel different if you have a bf who insists you pay all or insists you split..I don't think you'd appreciate that bf as much as your current one . Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 You see you misunderstood me already! I said your current bf is great partly BECAUSE he's chivalrious and wants to pay for you eventhough he's not obligated to! Hence, you will feel different if you have a bf who insists you pay all or insists you split..I don't think you'd appreciate that bf as much as your current one . I agree, it's great that he's not cheap, but he lacks in other areas but I didn't give up Conehead, maybe this is a great guy who just didn't really get that you expected him to pay Give him a shot, he may turn out to be all you ever wanted :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 The fact that you needed to share that your BF has a porche proves my point and also how you act, proves my point of your age/maturity level. And you just assumed I don't have a decent man, I do have a decent man. And unlike you, I won't brag about his wealth, but aside from any monetary worth he has, he's a decent man I'll give you an example, this may make your head spin, but try to hang in there k?! This week I've been really ill. He took me to the hospital, stayed with me while he was suppose to be at his son's game, took me home, Slept over, got me food. He has come over every night this week to make sure I had food and was ok. He paid for my groceries last night and would not take a DIME from me, but by the weekend, I will cook him some good eats and he'll make sure I get the things I need to get better. See how it works? It's not about "Hey everyone, look at me, my BF is DECENT, he drives a porche and takes me on trips" MEMEMEMEMME is all you talk about Love is not all about MEMEMEME, it's about doing for one another. When you wear your big girl panties one day, you'll get what I'm saying here Oh and i need to add, my BF makes a SH*TLOAD of money, is he decent in your eyes now?! Exactly, even you appreciated that your bf did not want a dime from you! Yet you mock women who appreciate the same things! Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 I agree, it's great that he's not cheap, but he lacks in other areas but I didn't give up Conehead, maybe this is a great guy who just didn't really get that you expected him to pay Give him a shot, he may turn out to be all you ever wanted :-) You see, you agree! But aside from that issue, I've already scratched this guy off my list. He was not the Mr. Perfect I'm wowed by him guy to begin with.... Link to post Share on other sites
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