donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 This thread has gotten way off track. Women were asked if we did the inviting on the first date, did we pay? I did. He wouldn't let me pay for dinner, but I did pay the tip and buy us drinks. I did, after all, invite him out for dinner. In THIS case, the guy invited the OP out for dinner and then out somewhere else for dessert. He should have offered to pay in that case. It's not like they got together and he said, "Hey, let's go for dinner," and she said, "Cool. I know this great place for dessert. My treat." Hell, dessert cost much more than dinner in this case. I think what it is is that when she began to get her wallet out, he made no effort to say, "Hey, since this was my idea, I'm buying." I get that. BUT - JUST because a gal doesn't mind spending a little money does NOT mean she thinks she's not worthy of being treated well. THAT kind of crap is just HORSESH-T! After all, if women enjoy being treated special, why shouldn't a guy enjoy being treated special? Do women have the market cornered on feeling good or something? Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I don't see how splitting the bill somehow implies that a guy is cheap or low class? I've paid half a few times in the past and the guys were anything but cheap. Seriously, just because someone doesn't agree with you about who should pay doesn't mean you insult the person. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I don't see how splitting the bill somehow implies that a guy is cheap or low class? I've paid half a few times in the past and the guys were anything but cheap. Seriously, just because someone doesn't agree with you about who should pay doesn't mean you insult the person. Yep, just like women who prefer a man to pay on the first date should not be called prostitutes lol Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 A better question is, why would anyone want to pay to go on a date with a woman who has such an enormous sense of entitlement? Personally, I think YOU should be paying men in compensation for having to endure your company. Well Johnny you should just be grateful that you will never have to endure my awful company, and I will relax with the thought that I will never be out with cheap ass you! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 You see, you agree! But aside from that issue, I've already scratched this guy off my list. He was not the Mr. Perfect I'm wowed by him guy to begin with.... Then why were you entitled to a free meal, desserts, and drinks... then say you would have went out with him again if he paid? The only place I see the angst over feminism and first date paying, is on LS. Women should do what feels right for them. Which includes, if they want to pay on the first date, it's up to them. But if, like myself, I just won't, that's my choice too, as it is for conehead, albeit she did pay for part of the first date. There really isn't a right or wrong. Agreed. This is why it should be talked about prior to the date. It's not hard to casually figure out who prefers what. Why would you being able to pay your own way make you think little of yourself? What is money actually to do with it? I'm not saying it's not nice to be treated, but it's equally nice to be able to say you can pay your own way, and do it without thinking it makes him cheap. To be honest, OP said she wasn't interested anyway, but would have accepted a second date had he paid. What does that say about her? It says that if a guy pays for everything, she'll happily lead him on and allow him to keep doing it, because it's free? Exactly what I was trying to say. I know MANY "low class" guys who throw money around. Right, just because someone can buy you a fancy dinner, doesn't make them wonderful. Just because you go dutch doesn't make them horrible. That is not what she said at all ... go and re-read it! She really did say if he would have paid she would have went out with him again. She really also did say she had no interest in him. So how is it not about money? Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 That's because guys like you are nothing more than walking wallets. You've got nothing else going on for you, which is why you always insist on paying (the only thing of value that you can offer). Women love guys like you. You take a girl out, wine and dine her, show her a good time - all with no strings attached. But would she sleep with you at the end of the night? Of course not - she's not that kind girl, you perv. Instead, she'd be making a booty call to the hot/cool guy who hasn't spent a penny on her. You see, everyone has a place in the social hierarchy. Some guys get to have sex, others get to pick up the tab. And to make sure that the latter don't complain too much, society brainwashes them to believe that their stupidity is actually a noble thing....We even give it a fancy French name - chivalry. some women :-) Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 That is not what she said at all ... go and re-read it! I can more than pay my own way, money has nothing to do with it. Re-read what I wrote earlier as I am not in the habit of repeating myself just because people cannot be bothered to read the whole of the text infront of them Thanks Actually, in the first few pages, she did say there was no spark, but had he paid, she would have still went on the second date. I don't need to reread anything thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 i think you folks are blowing this out of proportion...almost 500 posts over a measly $10 Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 A guy who let me pay half or the total of a first date would never get a second date Men should pay! You guys can dress it up however you like but the bottom line is men should pay for the forst few dates and if he does not have any money he should pick a cheap place to go ... Like the park! Suggesting an expensive place and not paying is low class Who wants a low class guy? not me thanks! ding ding ding...round two Of course, cause men who pay for dates have no other life issues. My friend dated a guy who paid for everything, picked her up, opened her door, then she discovered from his ex he was in jail for punching out his ex GF teeth in a fist fight. BUT he's high class cause he pays for dates :rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 A better question is, why would anyone want to pay to go on a date with a woman who has such an enormous sense of entitlement? Personally, I think YOU should be paying men in compensation for having to endure your company. I think a real man with any sense of who is of "higher class" are able to figure women like this out REAL quick! Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I don't see how splitting the bill somehow implies that a guy is cheap or low class? I've paid half a few times in the past and the guys were anything but cheap. Seriously, just because someone doesn't agree with you about who should pay doesn't mean you insult the person. It doesn't imply that unless one is a spoiled entitled brat :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Agreed. This is why it should be talked about prior to the date. It's not hard to casually figure out who prefers what.While this might work, I've never been one to discuss it pre-first date. I'll openly admit again, that on that first date, unless I don't ever want to see him again, I let him pay the bill, no fake pay, nothing. Then, when he asks me out again, I accept, on the condition that it's my treat. One way to impress the hell outta' guys is that during dinner, steer the conversation towards favourite restaurants and things he likes to do. Then memorize a particular restaurant or thing he prefers and mention that's where you'd like to go. But...you put the ball back into his court, by making it his responsibility to take care of the plans. This way, he can still feel in full control of the situation, while showing YOU, he can take the initiative. Link to post Share on other sites
Payden Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 That's because guys like you are nothing more than walking wallets. You've got nothing else going on for you, which is why you always insist on paying (the only thing of value that you can offer). Women love guys like you. You take a girl out, wine and dine her, show her a good time - all with no strings attached. But would she sleep with you at the end of the night? Of course not - she's not that kind girl, you perv. Instead, she'd be making a booty call to the hot/cool guy who hasn't spent a penny on her. You see, everyone has a place in the social hierarchy. Some guys get to have sex, others get to pick up the tab. And to make sure that the latter don't complain too much, society brainwashes them to believe that their stupidity is actually a noble thing....We even give it a fancy French name - chivalry. Hunny, if you yourself or any man let's the girl pay for anything more than one dollar for a first or second date it means you are a DOOOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHHH BAG! Hand over your man-card!....now!. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 My friend dated a guy who paid for everything, picked her up, opened her door, then she discovered from his ex he was in jail for punching out his ex GF teeth in a fist fight. Let's not be too hard on the guy....he's an old-fashioned man, remember! And there's nothing more old-fashioned than disciplining your woman when she gets out of hand. And in any event, what's the big fuss about a few missing teeth?? As long as you still have enough to chew on the free meals he buys you, it's all good!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Payden Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Speak for yourself. There are two basic categories of men: lovers and providers. Which do you want to be? An ideal man is both I would say...anything less is a guy like you:lmao: and that is NOT who I wanna be!....lmao. Link to post Share on other sites
Clep Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 A better question is, why would anyone want to pay to go on a date with a woman who has such an enormous sense of entitlement? Personally, I think YOU should be paying men in compensation for having to endure your company. Ahahaha. Thanks. The mentality of the entitled makes me laugh. I know lots of women like this...well I did until I upset them. They all are mad at me because my guy has money and they are still looking for one with money. Maybe if they had a better attitude, didn't care who paid and just enjoyed the company, life would be a little more serene. If I get the bill first I pay, and if he does he pays. We don't care who pays. My guy and I open the car door for each other, put each other's coats on etc. Who ever happens to get to the door first. Mutual ass kissing is what I like to call it. Both of us are treated well by each other, not just one of us from the other. It has always been this way with us, and it started with the bill on the table. The women I speak of are still single for a reasonl Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Let's not be too hard on the guy....he's an old-fashioned man, remember! And there's nothing more old-fashioned than disciplining your woman when she gets out of hand. And in any event, what's the big fuss about a few missing teeth?? As long as you still have enough to chew on the free meals he buys you, it's all good!!! tis true! ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Ahahaha. Thanks. The mentality of the entitled makes me laugh. I know lots of women like this...well I did until I upset them. They all are mad at me because my guy has money and they are still looking for one with money. Maybe if they had a better attitude, didn't care who paid and just enjoyed the company, life would be a little more serene. If I get the bill first I pay, and if he does he pays. We don't care who pays. My guy and I open the car door for each other, put each other's coats on etc. Who ever happens to get to the door first. Mutual ass kissing is what I like to call it. Both of us are treated well by each other, not just one of us from the other. It has always been this way with us, and it started with the bill on the table. The women I speak of are still single for a reasonl great post. Like they say "pick your battles" Who cares who pays the bill unless one is struggling seriously and then at that point, that person needs to be open to tell the other person they cannot afford to go out. Then if the person offers to pay, then cool! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I really don't understand why... in 2010... a man has to pay for everything... this is completely ridiculous... What are we (women)... parasites? Why can't we act like we're independant... we've got our jobs, cars, houses, etc... why is it the men's job to pay... I honestly don,t get it... I went on a first date (coffee) with a guy .. he wanted to pay for the coffee.... OK.. he wouldn't let me pay... fine... Then we went out for dinner and drinks... I forked my half... $40. why would he pay $80... not knowing if he'll see me again... We haven't been out since.. (he was boooring)... I guess he felt my indifference.. Women want to be independant, strong, confident... but when it comes to paying their fair share... they're completely submissive... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 An ideal man is both I would say...anything less is a guy like you:lmao: and that is NOT who I wanna be!....lmao.Just don't take the bait when it's tossed out. The less attention given, the less thrill the baiters get out of it. There's no interest in discussing an issue in a civil manner and resolving or agreeing to differ. It's just an outlet to throw out insults and bash. Just a waste of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Pizzaman81 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 So we had a first date Saturday night. For dinner, the bill came out to be $35, which he offered to pay which was nice. Then we went to get desert and drinks. The bill came out to be $45. I slowly went for my purse to see if he'd offer to pay. He slowly went for his wallet too lol. And I mean I was really slow, but he didn't seem keen on paying, so I opened up my purse and put my card in the bill while he watched me fiddle with the broken flap. I put the bill on the table THEN he takes out his card and was like 'want to split it'? At that point, it was just awkward since I already put in my card so I just said 'no it's fine I'll get it'. He thanked me. Eventhough he offered to split, he wasn't sincere about it. He texted me the day after and called me this morning. But to be honest, I was pretty turned off that I ended up paying more than him on our first date. Is this a yay or nay?? Boo woo hoo hoo... I'm a lady, I want equal rights... I am an adult, yet I need a man to pay for more... I think if you are a career modern woman, then it's normal. Welcome to the 21st century baby! Him not paying more than you on a first date doesn't mean he's not a good man. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 While this might work, I've never been one to discuss it pre-first date. I'll openly admit again, that on that first date, unless I don't ever want to see him again, I let him pay the bill, no fake pay, nothing. Then, when he asks me out again, I accept, on the condition that it's my treat. One way to impress the hell outta' guys is that during dinner, steer the conversation towards favourite restaurants and things he likes to do. Then memorize a particular restaurant or thing he prefers and mention that's where you'd like to go. But...you put the ball back into his court, by making it his responsibility to take care of the plans. This way, he can still feel in full control of the situation, while showing YOU, he can take the initiative. Casually asking up front works for me, because I've had guys suggest this place or that, and it's not always in my price range. I'll suggest something closer to my price range. I'd rather know up front if it's a dutch thing or not. I don't feel right having guys pay my way all the time, especially when I'm just dating, and it's the first date. It makes me feel like I'm trying to get a free ride. I also have been on some dates where they ask for two checks. I still get to know them if they have other qualities I like, and some of those men have been much better then some dick head guys who did pay for my whole meal and whatever else. I 100% agree that it's about the person and what they feel comfortable with.. however.. I'm more put off here, though, by the fact that OP stated she didn't feel any sparks, but would have went out with him again if he paid for everything. I also don't think OP should have busted out the wallet, and denied his offer to split the second bill, then come back and call him cheap, amongst all the other names this guy has gotten. Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I haven't read the post where she said she didn't feel any sparks but would date him if he had paid the full amount. That is what is cheap imo! Stop acting like a freeloader! Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I really don't understand why... in 2010... a man has to pay for everything... this is completely ridiculous... What are we (women)... parasites? Why can't we act like we're independant... we've got our jobs, cars, houses, etc... why is it the men's job to pay... I honestly don,t get it... I went on a first date (coffee) with a guy .. he wanted to pay for the coffee.... OK.. he wouldn't let me pay... fine... Then we went out for dinner and drinks... I forked my half... $40. why would he pay $80... not knowing if he'll see me again... We haven't been out since.. (he was boooring)... I guess he felt my indifference.. Women want to be independant, strong, confident... but when it comes to paying their fair share... they're completely submissive... we're over 40, we're old, we get that. Cette filles sont plus jeunes pour comprendre Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 we're over 40, we're old, we get that. Cette filles sont plus jeunes pour comprendre Hey I'm 28 and I get it. Link to post Share on other sites
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