RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Exactly, even you appreciated that your bf did not want a dime from you! Yet you mock women who appreciate the same things! I mock women who feel entitled, there's a difference. Keep in mind, he's a man I've been with for 4 yrs. We're not new to dating, I would not have let him pay for my groceries after only a few dates. I appreciate all he does for me, but when we 1st started to date, I wanted to share expenses when we went out. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 You see, you agree! But aside from that issue, I've already scratched this guy off my list. He was not the Mr. Perfect I'm wowed by him guy to begin with.... I agree with what? Well I think you did the best thing for this guy Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 Well I think you did the best thing for this guy Yes, as well as for myself. We both have different views on dating and they did not mesh that is all. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 The fact that you needed to share that your BF has a porche proves my point and also how you act, proves my point of your age/maturity level. Oh and i need to add, my BF makes a SH*TLOAD of money, is he decent in your eyes now?! Why does owning a Porsche and looking after you when you're sick have to be mutually exclusive? My boyfriend is wealthy and drives an extremely nice car (I mention this because cars seem to be a big talking point here, lol), he prefers to pay for things instead of having me pay, and treats me with a lot of respect and love. Just sayin'. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Why does owning a Porsche and looking after you when you're sick have to be mutually exclusive? My boyfriend is wealthy and drives an extremely nice car (I mention this because cars seem to be a big talking point here, lol), he prefers to pay for things instead of having me pay, and treats me with a lot of respect and love. Just sayin'. I don't think that was her point. I think her point was that a prior poster kept bringing up $$$$$$$$, the Porsche being one example. Her SOLE focus seemed to be money. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I don't think that was her point. I think her point was that a prior poster kept bringing up $$$$$$$$, the Porsche being one example. Her SOLE focus seemed to be money. Zackly :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Haven't you womin's clawed out each others eyes yet ? Alright... who here has reversed the traditional roles and pays for the Man's first date dinner out ? Not half but all of it ? I know TBF mentioned something about 380 pages ago along the lines that she picks up th WHOLE tab when she has realized there won't be a second date. In business even when in a customer role I always pay for lunches and dinner. If some sales guy is schmoozing me to buy tons of his equipment or something like that and we go to lunch I always turn the tables on them and pay for lunch.. 100% of the time.. I do it so sometimes as to not feel obligated in my decision making process and always do it to show some class... Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Haven't you womin's clawed out each others eyes yet ? Alright... who here has reversed the traditional roles and pays for the Man's first date dinner out ? Not half but all of it ? I know TBF mentioned something about 380 pages ago along the lines that she picks up th WHOLE tab when she has realized there won't be a second date. In business even when in a customer role I always pay for lunches and dinner. If some sales guy is schmoozing me to buy tons of his equipment or something like that and we go to lunch I always turn the tables on them and pay for lunch.. 100% of the time.. I do it so sometimes as to not feel obligated in my decision making process and always do it to show some class... well I've seen the men in this thread "claw" equally :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 (edited) well I've seen the men in this thread "claw" equally :-) You could use a laugh... A woman is walking in the park when she sees a man playing chess with his cat. She says to the man "I cant believe what Im seeing, a cat that plays chess, what a clever animal!!" The man replied "Nah lady this cats not clever at all... I'm beating it 6 games to 1" Q: What do you call it when a cat stops? - A: A paws! Edited January 21, 2010 by Art_Critic Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 You could use a laugh... Nice correlation to the word "claws." To answer your question, I have been the first to initiate a date with a new guy in the past. I'm assertive like that. I fully intended to buy dinner, but when I tried he didn't want to allow me to. We finally compromised on me paying the tip and buying us drinks afterward. In that situation, I'm not going to neuter the guy by refusing to allow him to pull out his wallet, but when I ask someone out to a dinner somewhere, my intention is to pay. It's really difficult these days with all this emotional crap over feminism as well as the traditional gender roles kind of getting skewed. You don't want to make a guy's you-know-what shrink, but you also don't want to come off as some kind of a princess with an entitlement complex. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 (edited) Alright... who here has reversed the traditional roles and pays for the Man's first date dinner out ? Not half but all of it ? I have done this several times, when I was the one who asked the other person out on the date, OR when the other person travelled a fair ways to get to me. Usually I am the askee, but when I am the asker I believe it is the proper etiquette for me to pay. I don't really think it's that big of a deal either way, however, I can see validity in many of the variations on this theme. Edit: It has occasionally made men feel a little awkward if I paid for the first date; if it seemed like a big issue I backed down, but usually I headed off the awkwardness by bringing it up right from the start, "Let me take you out to...it's my treat." Usually people seem to find this charming. Edited January 21, 2010 by Stung Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 It's really difficult these days with all this emotional crap over feminism as well as the traditional gender roles kind of getting skewed. You don't want to make a guy's you-know-what shrink, but you also don't want to come off as some kind of a princess with an entitlement complex.The only place I see the angst over feminism and first date paying, is on LS. Women should do what feels right for them. Which includes, if they want to pay on the first date, it's up to them. But if, like myself, I just won't, that's my choice too, as it is for conehead, albeit she did pay for part of the first date. There really isn't a right or wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 The only place I see the angst over feminism and first date paying, is on LS. That's because people feel free to say what's REALLY on their mind because they aren't looking you right in the eye on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 That's because people feel free to say what's REALLY on their mind because they aren't looking you right in the eye on LS. If people can't express themselves in real life, that's more the major issue, don't you think? If men resent paying, they shouldn't do it. If women resent paying, they shouldn't do it. Net result, no second date on either side, which is fine, since it leaves the door open for others, who might be more compatible. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 If people can't express themselves in real life, that's more the major issue, don't you think? Well, of course, but if no one had any issues, there would BE no LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Payden Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 The man should pay for the whole thing on a first date.... We are the men "providers" Have always done the hard labour and fought for our families... It's been that way for generations and it should be that us men win our girls by paying for her first date with us..open the car door for her. I don't know how those douches can make the woman pay in the first couple of dates.... I'd feel so dumb and ******* like if I did that lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 (edited) It has occasionally made men feel a little awkward if I paid for the first date; if it seemed like a big issue I backed down, but usually I headed off the awkwardness by bringing it up right from the start, "Let me take you out to...it's my treat." Usually people seem to find this charming. I could see that.. I certainly would find it charming.. Would you wonder if the the guy was cheap if he said yes to you paying awful fast ? Edited January 21, 2010 by Art_Critic Re wording... Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 (edited) I don't know how those douches can make the woman pay in the first couple of dates.... I'd feel so dumb and ******* like if I did that lol. That's because guys like you are nothing more than walking wallets. You've got nothing else going on for you, which is why you always insist on paying (the only thing of value that you can offer). Women love guys like you. You take a girl out, wine and dine her, show her a good time - all with no strings attached. But would she sleep with you at the end of the night? Of course not - she's not that kind girl, you perv. Instead, she'd be making a booty call to the hot/cool guy who hasn't spent a penny on her. You see, everyone has a place in the social hierarchy. Some guys get to have sex, others get to pick up the tab. And to make sure that the latter don't complain too much, society brainwashes them to believe that their stupidity is actually a noble thing....We even give it a fancy French name - chivalry. Edited January 21, 2010 by Johnny M 1 Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 HOOOORAYYY!!!! Thats my sentiments exactly! I am actually cringing for the GIRLS who are on here saying men should not pay ... I would hate to think that little of myself to be honest. You are right Conehead and I, for one, applaud you! Why would you being able to pay your own way make you think little of yourself? What is money actually to do with it? I'm not saying it's not nice to be treated, but it's equally nice to be able to say you can pay your own way, and do it without thinking it makes him cheap. To be honest, OP said she wasn't interested anyway, but would have accepted a second date had he paid. What does that say about her? It says that if a guy pays for everything, she'll happily lead him on and allow him to keep doing it, because it's free? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 A guy who let me pay half or the total of a first date would never get a second date Men should pay! You guys can dress it up however you like but the bottom line is men should pay for the forst few dates and if he does not have any money he should pick a cheap place to go ... Like the park! Suggesting an expensive place and not paying is low class Who wants a low class guy? not me thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 A guy who let me pay half or the total of a first date would never get a second date Men should pay! You guys can dress it up however you like but the bottom line is men should pay for the forst few dates and if he does not have any money he should pick a cheap place to go ... Like the park! Suggesting an expensive place and not paying is low class Who wants a low class guy? not me thanks! I know MANY "low class" guys who throw money around. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 Why would you being able to pay your own way make you think little of yourself? What is money actually to do with it? I'm not saying it's not nice to be treated, but it's equally nice to be able to say you can pay your own way, and do it without thinking it makes him cheap. To be honest, OP said she wasn't interested anyway, but would have accepted a second date had he paid. What does that say about her? It says that if a guy pays for everything, she'll happily lead him on and allow him to keep doing it, because it's free? That is not what she said at all ... go and re-read it! I can more than pay my own way, money has nothing to do with it. Re-read what I wrote earlier as I am not in the habit of repeating myself just because people cannot be bothered to read the whole of the text infront of them Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 I know MANY "low class" guys who throw money around. Well then dont date them ! I like a man who knows how to treat a lady, I like a guy from the old school and I like a guy who is not cheap Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted January 21, 2010 Share Posted January 21, 2010 A guy who let me pay half or the total of a first date would never get a second date Men should pay! You guys can dress it up however you like but the bottom line is men should pay for the forst few dates and if he does not have any money he should pick a cheap place to go ... Like the park! Suggesting an expensive place and not paying is low class Who wants a low class guy? not me thanks! A better question is, why would anyone want to pay to go on a date with a woman who has such an enormous sense of entitlement? Personally, I think YOU should be paying men in compensation for having to endure your company. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted January 21, 2010 Author Share Posted January 21, 2010 That is not what she said at all ... go and re-read it! I can more than pay my own way, money has nothing to do with it. Re-read what I wrote earlier as I am not in the habit of repeating myself just because people cannot be bothered to read the whole of the text infront of them Thanks Thank you Lishy! Seems like a lot of people in this thread mis-read things, or skip over things, then fill it in with their own assumptions that turn out to be completely false and then draw false conclusions from this. Link to post Share on other sites
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