Collin Posted June 22, 2000 Share Posted June 22, 2000 Here is the problem... I'm engaged but I'm very reluctant to get married because I'm very attracted to another woman. It all started after I got engaged. After I had told my "friend " when she got back from vacation that I got engaged she was clearly hurt.She then a couple weeks later expressed her desire for me and we kissed. The next day I took it further by inviting her to go to the beach, where we spent all day out in the sun kissing. This is what got me so confused. Later she started to date a guy but once in a while we revert back to the kissing. We are good friends and see each other alot... We work together. My whole problem is that I think she might be the one that I have been looking for. She is still involved with her boyfriend and I'm still engaged.I have been engaged for 10 months and it really scares me to think about getting married.I love my fiance and she loves me but the thought of losing my "friend" makes me heartbroken. What to do What to do???? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky Posted June 22, 2000 Share Posted June 22, 2000 You are sick. How can you string on your POOR FIANCE like that. You do not love your fiance when you LIE and CHEAT. How about fess up to your fiance so she can break it off and get away from the scum bag that you are and so she can find someone who will RESPECT her because YOU obvously do not know what that word means!!! Here is the problem... I'm engaged but I'm very reluctant to get married because I'm very attracted to another woman. It all started after I got engaged. After I had told my "friend " when she got back from vacation that I got engaged she was clearly hurt.She then a couple weeks later expressed her desire for me and we kissed. The next day I took it further by inviting her to go to the beach, where we spent all day out in the sun kissing. This is what got me so confused. Later she started to date a guy but once in a while we revert back to the kissing. We are good friends and see each other alot... We work together. My whole problem is that I think she might be the one that I have been looking for. She is still involved with her boyfriend and I'm still engaged.I have been engaged for 10 months and it really scares me to think about getting married.I love my fiance and she loves me but the thought of losing my "friend" makes me heartbroken. What to do What to do???? Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted June 22, 2000 Share Posted June 22, 2000 It sounds like something more serious than just cold feet with your fiance. About the fiance: She's going to get hurt. If you can't promise her faithfulness from this moment on, she needs to know. If you are not 100% sure of your love for her, she needs to know. Respect her enough to be honest, even if it hurts. Better to end it now with some respect than to go through an angry, scarring divorce later. About the friend: Be careful in these waters: I hope it is love that is growing between you although I question a woman who would kiss and play around with an engaged man. Forbidden love can be most tempting but it doesn't last. If it really is love, she will wait until you get your feelings settled with your fiance. You also said the friend had started dating another man. Are you sure she wants to pursue the relationship with you? Don't let this weigh in your other decision: Settle your heart with the fiance first, then see what develops with the friend. Be careful. You will come through okay. Link to post Share on other sites
jessi Posted June 24, 2000 Share Posted June 24, 2000 Ok...You definately have a problem here. If you love someone as much as you love your finacee, you shouldn't be doing this to her. If you feel strongly for the other woman, that will not change if you get married....most likely, you will regret not taking a chance with it. You OWE it to your fiancee to be honest. Both you and she need the opportunity to find the right person---since it sounds like you have not already. There is no doubt that she will be hurt by all of this, but better now than down the road after you are married. Also, cheating when you are married as a lot more serious than when you are engaged. Obviously, you arent be honest with her right now, adn she does not deserve what you are doing to her. she will not trust you for a long time after all of this....but you have to do what is right. If the two of you do stay together,,,my advice is to come clean with all of it, and get professional help before you get married. Just remember,it will be easier for her to hear all of this from you than to find out from someone else....and word always gets around! Here is the problem... I'm engaged but I'm very reluctant to get married because I'm very attracted to another woman. It all started after I got engaged. After I had told my "friend " when she got back from vacation that I got engaged she was clearly hurt.She then a couple weeks later expressed her desire for me and we kissed. The next day I took it further by inviting her to go to the beach, where we spent all day out in the sun kissing. This is what got me so confused. Later she started to date a guy but once in a while we revert back to the kissing. We are good friends and see each other alot... We work together. My whole problem is that I think she might be the one that I have been looking for. She is still involved with her boyfriend and I'm still engaged.I have been engaged for 10 months and it really scares me to think about getting married.I love my fiance and she loves me but the thought of losing my "friend" makes me heartbroken. What to do What to do???? Link to post Share on other sites
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