Dealing with those who you see as "bad"

[D-Jam]

I wasn't sure where to post this, since it goes beyond dating...so I figure this is the best spot.

 

I've been noticing with this board, other boards, and even conversations with people I come across in my life; that too many people seem way too concerned with what other people do. They could be people you see in the world or even on TV. This talk especially goes towards those whom the "talkers" see as less of a moral character.

 

I'll see women criticize some other girl behind her back because maybe said girl sleeps around, or stole someone's boyfriend, or married a guy purely for money. I'll see men criticize women because maybe the woman has shallow tastes, or she jerks guys around, or she chases bad boys and rejects nice guys. I'll see men criticized by both genders because maybe they won't commit, or they get loads of women wanting commitment and they just want to bang, or because they lied to someone, or make fun of those weaker than them, or they do bad things and yet somehow get ahead in life.

 

So I see people talk about all the "friends" they have, and how they are all fake people and they all stab one another behind their backs. That or the person they see who acts "badly" (define that any way you wish) and yet this person will be so focused on that other person's life. It's like the ones who talk daily about people like the cast of Jersey Shore and have much to say about them, but in many ways keep asking why these people can act "badly" and somehow get ahead in life (however you define that) while they themselves can't.

 

It's almost asking "why can't life be fair?"

 

So you end up waking up one morning feeling very cynical about the world because maybe your boss steals money from the company and cheats on his wife, or some snobby girl stabbed you in the back but she still has loads of men wanting her and is going to marry some wealthy adonis you wish you could have (or wish you could be).

 

You might get on here or elsewhere and go off about it...like how we see men complain endlessly about bad boys or spoiled princesses, or women complain endlessly about why the bitches get men while nice girls don't. Or even beyond dating you'll see people who seemingly end up with terrible people as friends, but never good ones, and these people complain to death about these horrible people in their lives.

 

You want a solution? It's quite simple. I used to have an emotionally abusive friend. One day I had enough of his attitude and ended the friendship. I kicked him to the curb. I launched him in a sense.

 

I then came up with what I call RULE #1:

 

I will never allow anyone to come into my life that will hurt me or bring me down.

 

Yeah, my former friend acts like a child to this day (he's in his late 30s) and tries to cause drama, but I ignore him rather than fight back. I've had women in my past play games...and guess what? I don't associate with them anymore. Same deal. Go back to Rule #1.

 

Now...some of you might suddenly think I'm being heartless in abandoning people like that, or you want to desperately see the "good" in whoever might be a "bad" in your life, but the problem is you're not prioritizing yourself. You're too busy trying to please everyone that you forgot to please yourself...or you think pleasing yourself is wrong to do.

 

If you have people you call "friends" who really aren't your friends, leave them.

 

If you know people who do "bad" things and get away with it...making you wonder why life isn't being fair, ignore them. Who cares if so-and-so got away with murder or does bad things and yet is never "called out" or karma never comes along and gets them back? Focus on your life first.

 

If you especially are seeing/dating/being with people in a deeper sense whom you see are not good for you, leave. Walk. Don't sit there waiting or hoping things will change.

 

The key to finding that inner happiness and balance is to rid yourself of all those dark clouds in your life. A real friend and a real lover is someone who is a bright point for you...not a downer...not something that has to be "managed".

 

Many of you need to take on Rule #1 and treat it like a creed. You have to stop thinking that pleasing the world is a priority. Please yourself, but RESPECT others.

 

Lord knows I see lots of douchebags, jerks, bitches, flakes, princesses, "children", etc...but rather than waste brainpower on them, I'd rather utilize it to more productive means.

 

This is how you find happiness in your life. So clear out those dark clouds and don't worry what happens to them.

[torranceshipman]

Very practical - that's a rule I live by too.