swsweetlady Posted June 22, 2000 Share Posted June 22, 2000 i have been married for five years now. my husband and i have been through alot over the course of the years. he cheated on me when i went back to our home town to have our first child. out of this relationship came a child. i stayed with him because i married for better or worse hoping that it was the best. he left her alone for a while. now she is back into the picture again, the child is three years old now. i use to get upset about it because i feel like she should deal with me but he says it is none of my business. well recently i met a guy. i have been knowing him for five years now but i have only known him through my husband. i saw him and we talked and for once i feel understood and heard and he kissed me it was feeling i had never felt before in years since the other women. he bought me roses and we talk on the phone all the time and he is also marrried. should i continue or should i stop this relation ship before it goes any further. Link to post Share on other sites
broken =*[ Posted June 22, 2000 Share Posted June 22, 2000 I think you deserve to be happy. If this other man is happy with you and your happy with him, theres no reason for you not to continue whats going on. i have been married for five years now. my husband and i have been through alot over the course of the years. he cheated on me when i went back to our home town to have our first child. out of this relationship came a child. i stayed with him because i married for better or worse hoping that it was the best. he left her alone for a while. now she is back into the picture again, the child is three years old now. i use to get upset about it because i feel like she should deal with me but he says it is none of my business. well recently i met a guy. i have been knowing him for five years now but i have only known him through my husband. i saw him and we talked and for once i feel understood and heard and he kissed me it was feeling i had never felt before in years since the other women. he bought me roses and we talk on the phone all the time and he is also marrried. should i continue or should i stop this relation ship before it goes any further. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiser Woman Posted June 22, 2000 Share Posted June 22, 2000 As you said you married for "better or worse" and this sounds like the worst! Your husband cheated on you while you were preparing to have HIS child? He ends up with another child; the mother of that child is back in your lives now and HE says it is none of YOUR business? WHAT?? Is he financially supporting this other child? Is it money taken away from you, your child together and your life with your husband? On a simply financial basis, if he is helping to support this other child (which IS a good thing, it is his responsiblity) and it is taking away from the support he would provide to you and your child with him it IS your business based on that alone not to mention why he would even think it's none of your business that he had a child with another woman. Now you've met up with a guy you're attracted to who is also married. Put yourself in this new guy's wife's shoes. You both could possibly elevate this attraction to the point where you and he will be doing to this guy's wife what your husband has done to you, your child and your marriage. What happens if you end up pregnant if this attraction goes that far? What happens in the future when you may have to explain to your child that he/she has a half brother/sister who all of a sudden pops up in your life? It could happen. You have a right to know now how you are supposed to deal with what the future will bring with regard to this other child. It sounds like neither you nor your husband are happy with each other or your life together. You both are looking or have looked for something outside of your marriage. I am not condemning it, it happens all the time. What is sad is that if you continue on with a relationship with another guy the cycle could just be repeated and not only will you and your husband be unhappy but so could another couple end up in a mess. It's not just your life here. There's children involved too. If you truly feel that this new man is someone you want to be with, then be the bigger, better person. Divorce your husband and then move on with someone else. Repeating a cycle of infidelity will not make things any better. Link to post Share on other sites
billy the kid Posted June 23, 2000 Share Posted June 23, 2000 man I would hate to be where your at but I can relate. this (my post) will prob. not make you feel good, so I want to say I'm sorry first off, now to your problems, you need to take alot of time to your self to think these things through. so now your husband, he really sounds like a jerk, or were you the only one to say for better or worse, sounds like you said for worse and he said for better..and screw him it is "your" business..and for your husbands friend, read your post again unless I read it wrong, he is cheating on his wife now, so what makes you think he won't in the future or isn't cheating on you now??? I'm happy you have a child it should give you something to concentrate on.I raised a beautiful boy on my own, his mother left when he was 5 months old, he is 19 now and sence the day she left I ,we have yet to lay eyes on her or hear from her and I feel the best way we got over it was to concentrate on each other. there are single guys out there that will love your child as much as love you. happy trails.. i have been married for five years now. my husband and i have been through alot over the course of the years. he cheated on me when i went back to our home town to have our first child. out of this relationship came a child. i stayed with him because i married for better or worse hoping that it was the best. he left her alone for a while. now she is back into the picture again, the child is three years old now. i use to get upset about it because i feel like she should deal with me but he says it is none of my business. well recently i met a guy. i have been knowing him for five years now but i have only known him through my husband. i saw him and we talked and for once i feel understood and heard and he kissed me it was feeling i had never felt before in years since the other women. he bought me roses and we talk on the phone all the time and he is also marrried. should i continue or should i stop this relation ship before it goes any further. Link to post Share on other sites
lovely Posted June 23, 2000 Share Posted June 23, 2000 well this sounds like a real bummer. but i was in the same situation you are in. let me tell you. i use to stay home with two kids all the time while he goes to the club with his "friends" people would tell me but i had to see it for myself. i loved this man and he was the only one i knew for 6 years and through the whole six years i never knew about the other one. well now it turns out i do. they have a child and the child is a year behind my first born. yes it hurts but i got over it now i am having fun too. i met a guy and he is wonderful i have not slept with him but he is really nice and really married with two kids. we can relate because his wife cheated on him also that is why we are such good friends and then some... well no one knows about us because he want s to keep what he has at home and so do i. so we are basically having fun and making eachother happy since we cant get it at home. both of us are with our spouses and being a good spouse. and i love him he loves me and i love my husband too. so i say if he makes you happy go for it girl but you must be really carefuland enjoy yourself cause you only live once. since it is none of your business dont worry cause he will see what hes doing. i have been married for five years now. my husband and i have been through alot over the course of the years. he cheated on me when i went back to our home town to have our first child. out of this relationship came a child. i stayed with him because i married for better or worse hoping that it was the best. he left her alone for a while. now she is back into the picture again, the child is three years old now. i use to get upset about it because i feel like she should deal with me but he says it is none of my business. well recently i met a guy. i have been knowing him for five years now but i have only known him through my husband. i saw him and we talked and for once i feel understood and heard and he kissed me it was feeling i had never felt before in years since the other women. he bought me roses and we talk on the phone all the time and he is also marrried. should i continue or should i stop this relation ship before it goes any further. Link to post Share on other sites
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