TGO Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hi everyone. This is my first "real" post to this board, my only other one was a response to a specific topic I got a link to in another board. I'm 20 years old, and I've been single for about a year and a half. My last girlfriend I had when I was 18. She was 15 at the time...I believe she's 17 now. Anyway, she liked me a lot but the relationship wasn't working too well for me because I just didn't like the way it was going at the time. I've since broken up with that girl, and in the month or so afterward it was obvious she wanted to get back together...we settled for a few moments of friends-with-benefits, then I had an accident and a year went by before I contacted her again. (I've since become a paraplegic...that figures minutely into my feelings about this but it's otherwise unimportant I think). I just know that for a while after I broke things off relationship-wise with her, she kept hoping we'd get back together. Anyway, I've had mixed feelings about her for a while but now I want her back. I've been kind of lonely for a while now, but whenever I try to contact her, I am not doing as well as I used to. I feel like she may not want me as much anymore (even though after the year of silence between us, she has said she'd be with me again if things worked out). I don't want anything serious, and to be honest most of my desires are sexual in nature (I've lost most sexual function since the accident...but I enjoy pleasing girls, and making out). But I do think she's a real nice girl and she can be fun to hang out with as well, so I'm fairly confident sexuality is not the ONLY motivation. Am I justified in wanting her back? What should I do? She has no trouble getting men, this I know, and she's had a few boyfriends (well, perhaps 4-5 even) since she and I broke up. But I always got the feeling from her that she liked me a lot and always wanted to be with me again. What could her seeming disinterest now mean? I'm lonely and unsure of what to do! Anyone able to help? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TGO Posted December 30, 2003 Author Share Posted December 30, 2003 Link to post Share on other sites
gwennebe Posted December 31, 2003 Share Posted December 31, 2003 Your situation sounds pretty complicated. How often have you talked to her recently and what did she have to say to you? Have you explained how you felt towards her at all recently? Maybe she is just unsure what to say to you since your accident? Whatever happens make sure you are in it for the right reasons. Because you genuinely have feelings for her and care about her. If it is just physical then please just let her be. Remeber you did hurt her and regardless of what has happend in the past year she isn't going to forget that hurt. You need to win her trust back. Like I said just be sure you are wanting to get back with her for the right reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TGO Posted December 31, 2003 Author Share Posted December 31, 2003 Well like I said she's shown all sorts of mixed messages in the times I've talked to her since the accident. She's said quite a few times that the accident doesn't really change her feelings about me besides the fact that she's upset it happened. Sometimes she's said that she likes me and would wanna be with me again. Sometimes she makes it seem as if she's happy just being with other people...and sometimes it's just impossible to read her at all. I've called her 3 times since Sunday (once Sunday night, once monday, and once last night). Sunday night and last night she said she'd call me back (before we even really got talking) and didn't call back either time. Monday night I left a message. Generally she's the kind of person, I think, where the way she's feeling can change a lot from one week to the next. As I said, I don't want anything very serious with her right now because of that, for the most part. I'm just not sure how a serious relationship would turn out with her right now, and also I don't know what kind of commitment I'm ready to offer at this position in life. But I do wanna spend time with her and rekindle a relationship, whatever that might be. I feel that if such a thing were to happen, things might become clearer for the both of us. I would call her tonight, but since it's New Years Eve I have no doubt she's doing something. I, on the other hand, don't really have a social life so I'll be staying at home in my room, as usual. That can make it uncomfortable at times, since I feel like when I extend an effort to contact her, I'm putting myself on the line...because during those times, it's often "She says yes, or she says no...but whatever the answer, that's about my only choice tonight". Does that make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts