Loss 4 words Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 Any ideas of way to tell an ex that I've met someone else and am dating them...if not more?? (Mind you, this person may have pycological issues that need medication/therapy, but they refuse treatment...and the fact that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...they do have a 'nosey' /stalker personality and can/will manipulate to get what they want) Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 They really don't have any right to know...that's why NC is so strongly advocated here...once you become exes, you're not in each other's lives anymore...NC prevents having to deal with this kind of situation, which shouldn't really even be a situation... Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 If you must absolutely tell him, i'd say this: "I am seeing someone new now, sorry." Simple as that. If this guy broke up with you, then there is no reason as to why you should soften the blow. Regardless of if he has mental issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted January 23, 2010 Author Share Posted January 23, 2010 (edited) If you must absolutely tell him, i'd say this: "I am seeing someone new now, sorry." Simple as that. If this guy broke up with you, then there is no reason as to why you should soften the blow. Regardless of if he has mental issues. SHE broke up with me ( I am a guy) ....and didnt have the courage to do it to my face...she did it over IM...and she kept the ring (which I really don't care about...also, I didnt want it back...what use is it to me?) Edited January 23, 2010 by Loss 4 words Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 SHE broke up with me ( I am a guy) ....and didnt have the courage to do it to my face...she did it over IM...and she kept the ring (which I really don't care about...also, I didnt want it back...what use is it to me?) Ahh, i'm sorry! It's hard to tell on here sometimes. Are you still keeping in contact with her all the time? I personally wouldn't worry about it. I mean it's none of her business what you do with your life now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted January 23, 2010 Author Share Posted January 23, 2010 Ahh, i'm sorry! It's hard to tell on here sometimes. Are you still keeping in contact with her all the time? I personally wouldn't worry about it. I mean it's none of her business what you do with your life now. that's ok....we do communicate on a daily basis...recently, I've been going NC and letting her initiate the contact first, but my heart over rules my head and i give in or give an inch...then gets a mile... And it's not like she'll tell me anything if/did happen...but she expects clarity from me...and she neither deserves it, nor needs it...we are single, but she seems to think she can keep her claws dug in just enough to keep me around. Link to post Share on other sites
longonsd Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 It sounds like given her emotional problems that youre going to have to be the one to just tell her straight up and deal with the aftermath. The relationship as it currently stands sounds really unhealthy and it would be best for both of you if you just put it to an end. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 You're enabling her behaviour by not cutting contact with her. She broke up with you, so why should you two be friends? Honestly, you don't owe her ANY explanation of what you're doing, who you're seeing. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Cupcakes Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 No offense, but it sounds as if you are still resentful and still hung up on your ex yourself. When you bring up supposed "mental issues" etc, and that SHE broke up with YOU, etc. that screams that there is a huge part of you that actually WANTS to be able to tell her that you are seeing someone else in order to "get her." Sorry but that is the honest way I see this, or the answer to your question would be obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 Good point PC. I mean, if your exgf has mental issues, then WHY make it worse and tell her that you're seeing someone new? WHAT is the point of doing that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted January 23, 2010 Author Share Posted January 23, 2010 Good point PC. I mean, if your exgf has mental issues, then WHY make it worse and tell her that you're seeing someone new? WHAT is the point of doing that? It's not that I want to tell her and make her miserable, Its the fact that we communicate so often and that IF the topic came up, im not gonna sit there and lie to her about it.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 OK, look at it this way now..You're seeing someone now. Focus more on the new girl than your ex.. Start to detach and back off of your ex. Include her less in your life..SHE needs to not be in contact with you as much either. If/when she asks, tell her, until then just gradally back off, less contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 I'm going to say when the new girl finds out how much the ex still plays a role in your life, there won't be a new girl to discuss over IM....... If you really want to start dating again, then you have to go complete no contact with the ex because all I see now is one big trainwreck waiting to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 SHE broke up with me ( I am a guy) ....and didnt have the courage to do it to my face...she did it over IM...and she kept the ring (which I really don't care about...also, I didnt want it back...what use is it to me?) Then why do you need to tell her anything? Why are you still in touch with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loss 4 words Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 I'm going to say when the new girl finds out how much the ex still plays a role in your life, there won't be a new girl to discuss over IM....... If you really want to start dating again, then you have to go complete no contact with the ex because all I see now is one big trainwreck waiting to happen. After some late-developing news, she and I are done, finito, never... Then why do you need to tell her anything? Why are you still in touch with her? See above... Link to post Share on other sites
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