The phone game -- am I a sucker or what?

[katy_katt]

hello again everybody!

 

i met this guy about a month ago, through a friend. we hit it off really well (my friend had been trying to get us together for the last 3 months since he thought we were so compatible). went on a few dates, he would come meet me after school, and we always had a lot of fun together, but only saw each other two or three times a week. that was good for me, since my previous relationships seemed to move too fast.

 

a couple of weeks ago though, he took me home and said he had the day off work in a few days, and that he'd call me to 'hang out' (as he put it). by then i was starting to like him more and more, so i was quite excited to hear from him after a few days. unfortunately, he never called that night...and i finally decided to try calling him around 11:30, in case he ended up having to work or something. i didn't act weird, just asked what had happened and he said some friends stopped by that he hadn't seen in a while and he had to entertain them. We made plans to meet a couple nights later and he ended up coming by to hang out with some friends. but things seemed a little weird on his part...he kept complaining that he didn't feel well.

 

later on, i was worried because i was going home for christmas for a week and couldn't find anyone to look after my cat. he offered to do so, and said he'd call me on saturday for dropping off my keys, etc (i was planning to leave on monday). he didn't call that night, and I was sick of sitting at home with nothing to do so I had made up my mind to leave the next day. it's a long drive home, so i woke him up on sunday morning and said i was going to drop off my keys before heading off. did so...and thought to ask if he had forgotten about me or something the night before. he explained that he ended up having to work late. i asked if he was still interested in me because by that time it didn't really seem like it (even though him offering to look after my cat could've been sign of something), and he said he still liked me, and gave me a big hug. i stayed and we ended up talking and laughing for another half hour before i left.

 

when i got back yesterday i stopped at his work to pick up my keys...he gave me a kiss and a hug and sat holding my hand while we talked. he said that he had today off and i asked if he wanted to do anything. that's when it got a little weird. he said that his roommate was coming back from his hometown and that he might want to do something with him, but if his roommate ended up having his girlfriend over then he'd call me. i should mention right now that the majority of our talking ends up being little jokes and stuff. i said it was great to know i was nothing but an afterthought (somewhat jokingly), to which he laughed and said 'yeah, you're my back-up plan.' then i said that i doubted he would call since he never does. he just said 'that's right...write a song about it' (a little inside joke we share). when i left i didn't know what to do or how to feel...i gave him a kiss on the cheek instead of on the lips and he got a little upset over that. i don't even know if he thinks of me as a girlfriend or what. anyway, i didn't expect him to call and sure enough, he didn't. the phone rang twice and they were both wrong numbers, which kinda made things worse

 

i decided to wait and see if he calls tomorrow...but if not i don't know what to do. seems kinda silly to be sitting here waiting for something that might never come, but at the same time i don't want to keep phoning him and seem like some weird freaked-out girl. he mentioned once that he had a problem with girls dumping him after a short while but didn't explain why, so i'm thinking maybe this is just the way he is...but it's hard to tell sometimes.

 

any advice on what to do and why he may be acting this way?

[jmargel]

Hi Kat,

 

Sounds like he's making up excuses, and those things he said to you were disrespectful. Don't wait around for him, and don't bother calling. He knows what he is doing, he does have a brain. Don't ever 'settle' for someone, and by your post you would be if you continued the path you are with him. If he calls you and wants to meet up, tell him you are 'busy' and going out with other friends, and then do it! Make him feel like he's been making you feel. That's not right, especially only after a month. If he does call, be direct with him and get him to talk. He's playing head games with you.