Am I in trouble?

[cberry297]

After begging and pleading my husband of twentytwo years not to destroy our family, he said get it through your head I don't want you anymore! I became enraged and punched holes in the drywall of the living room. He now says he is taking pictures and when we go to court they are going to give me nothing because I am crazy. I lost it for a split second, I told him I will pay to have it fixed. Its my house too so can he really get me in trouble for doing this? God I wish I haden"t been so stupid and let myself get out of control.

[Brightmoon]

I doubt very much that his threat will amount to anything, and you are willing to make good the damage.

 

 

It must have been awful for you to hear him say that. I totally understand your anger and frustration. (((hugs))) to you berry... Must be very though. He seems very aggressive... mean person..

[soserious1]

I doubt very much that his threat will amount to anything, and you are willing to make good the damage.

 

 

It must have been awful for you to hear him say that. I totally understand your anger and frustration. (((hugs))) to you berry... Must be very though. He seems very aggressive... mean person..

 

 

Let me get this straight here.. the OP in a fit of rage punched out walls and her poor husband is aggressive and mean?

 

Many, many men on this site complain about sexist double standards, they also complain about women who don't point out those standards and call out women who make them.

 

Reverse the situation.. imagine that the OP was a man

who came here and said that he'd erupted into a rage and punched and kicked out the walls of the house after his wife told him she didn't love him anymore.

 

 

Everybody here would be telling a man that he needed anger management therapy and to count himself lucky that he isn't in jail or facing a restraining order.

 

Physical violence is NEVER acceptable.

[tnttim]

Let me get this straight here.. the OP in a fit of rage punched out walls and her poor husband is aggressive and mean?

 

Many, many men on this site complain about sexist double standards, they also complain about women who don't point out those standards and call out women who make them.

 

Reverse the situation.. imagine that the OP was a man

who came here and said that he'd erupted into a rage and punched and kicked out the walls of the house after his wife told him she didn't love him anymore.

 

 

Everybody here would be telling a man that he needed anger management therapy and to count himself lucky that he isn't in jail or facing a restraining order.

 

Physical violence is NEVER acceptable.

You are so right it isn't funny. I'm a man taking back a WS and I keep getting told the same advice, be a man and leave her. But men and women are different, so maybe I'm wrong.

[Ronni_W]

What soserious said.

You may want to consider acting proactively by attending anger/stress management classes.

And definitely speak with your lawyer about the entire incident so that you can get informed on your next best step to take, from a legal PoV (as related to this.)

[tnttim]

You should have punched him in the face. If he shows that to the judge it won't mean a thing. The burden of proof is on him. What's to say he didn't punch the wall and blame you. Besides the judge knows there are way bigger issues than the abused sheet rock.

[Woggle]

Let me get this straight here.. the OP in a fit of rage punched out walls and her poor husband is aggressive and mean?

 

Many, many men on this site complain about sexist double standards, they also complain about women who don't point out those standards and call out women who make them.

 

Reverse the situation.. imagine that the OP was a man

who came here and said that he'd erupted into a rage and punched and kicked out the walls of the house after his wife told him she didn't love him anymore.

 

 

Everybody here would be telling a man that he needed anger management therapy and to count himself lucky that he isn't in jail or facing a restraining order.

 

Physical violence is NEVER acceptable.

 

I like you. I am sorry for what the OP is going through but she is experiencing what men go through everyday and we manage not to destroy the house.

[lkjh]

I doubt very much that his threat will amount to anything, and you are willing to make good the damage.

 

 

It must have been awful for you to hear him say that. I totally understand your anger and frustration. (((hugs))) to you berry... Must be very though. He seems very aggressive... mean person..

 

If a man did this the court would take his children, house, and money away and then just incase there was anything left they would hang him

[LisaUk]

First, it is impossible to commit an offence of criminal damage on your own property unless you are endangering anothers life (arson).

 

Criminal Damage Act 1971 s.1(1) "a person who without lawful excuse destroys or damages any property BELONGING TO ANOTHER intending to destroy or damage any such property or being reckless as to whether any such property would be destroyed or damaged shall be guilty of an offence".

 

No offence under UK law, US law may be different but it is mostly similar, I believe.

 

The only offence you could face liability for is common assault, "the apprehension of immediate unlawful violence", if your actions caused your H to expect you were going to hit him and you would have had to have INTENDED for him to think this. But then you have the defence of provacation and diminished responsibility.

 

If you have no previous criminal record of violence and a good character, the judge will see right through this for what it is, someone who has been pushed to the limits emotionally and for a brief moment had no control over themself (Provacation and diminished responsiblity). Speak to your lawyer anyway, they need to know in any case so they can prepare a defence (like above) on your behalf, the worst thing for a lawyer to face is someone throwing around information during divorce proceedings that you had no knowledge of prior.

 

As a women I have to say as well, that if a man had posted this I would say the same, anyone can lose it when pushed too far, that's why the defences exist and in fact there was a male LSer on here who did something similar and I think at the time I said the same.

 

Try not to beat yourself up over it cberry.

[BUENG1]

Punching a hole in your own wall is not assault and it is not a crime.

[LisaUk]

Punching a hole in your own wall is not assault and it is not a crime.

 

You're right it's not, but it is if he was stood next to her when she punched the hole in the wall and apprehended the fist coming at him. Assault is apprehension of force, BATTERY is what most people think of as assualt. (I am a postgrad law). But either way cberry, no criminal offences, IMO (only a student), tell your lawyer all about it anyway, they will probably be more interested in how your husband is threatening to prevent you from your legal entiltments, I would be if you were my client.