annxxdisaster Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I dare you to read it... LOL http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t216034/ then this... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t216303/ then... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t217613/ and then... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t217201/ then... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t217907/ and finally LOL http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t218961/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t219199/ Oh trust me, I wish I was that together when my first love broke up with me. For 3 months straight all I did was call my mom or sister to talk about how I just thought that fate some where down the line was going to magically bring us back together and I could just feel it in my gut and blah blah...different variations of that until I finally realized I was making myself feel that way/miss him or think about him/that the heavens would part and on a magical rainbow bridge he'd come galloping on a unicorn to whisk me away into a land of love and gum drops. Theen, I went away for a weekend with my most current ex. Who was head over heels in love with me until I was head of heels in love with him. They're both mechanics that ride Honda motorcycles. :| Lesson learned. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Oh trust me, I wish I was that together when my first love broke up with me. For 3 months straight all I did was call my mom or sister to talk about how I just thought that fate some where down the line was going to magically bring us back together and I could just feel it in my gut and blah blah...different variations of that until I finally realized I was making myself feel that way/miss him or think about him/that the heavens would part and on a magical rainbow bridge he'd come galloping on a unicorn to whisk me away into a land of love and gum drops. Theen, I went away for a weekend with my most current ex. Who was head over heels in love with me until I was head of heels in love with him. They're both mechanics that ride Honda motorcycles. :| Lesson learned. Aw. I'd say I made out good with her leaving me. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 So Sunday Funday turned into Sunday lame day...but I guess that's what happens when the entire city is trying to recover from yesterday... What I gather from what I missed this evening was that Vitamin S is bad...? Link to post Share on other sites
annxxdisaster Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 So Sunday Funday turned into Sunday lame day...but I guess that's what happens when the entire city is trying to recover from yesterday... What I gather from what I missed this evening was that Vitamin S is bad...? I would say you've done amazing Mr. Banana. And yes, Vitamin S is terrible for you and all mechanics are emotional retarded. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 I would say you've done amazing Mr. Banana. And yes, Vitamin S is terrible for you and all mechanics are emotional retarded. Call me Rob. And this is doppelganger week... cool. Apparently I look exactly like Chester Bennington from Linkin Park LOL Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 USMC & BB why are you even pushing the idea of someone new? In your own words your not over your EX but yet you go out and wonder why women do not seem interesting, wondering if you will always be alone. Stop trying so hard to fill that hole, if you do not give yourself time to heal your just going to re-injure yourself. GC, you're right about this...but it certainly feels like there's pressure from my friends whenever I'm visiting down here in Florida to "get over by getting under"...and Tampa is probably the most ridiculous place on this planet for finding women... But like Rob, I don't do casual sex...just not something I'm interested in...and I agree that bars and clubs aren't exactly the best places to meet women for real relationships...but I don't know if I could say that about Tampa...they ALL come out... I know I'm not ready, but as time goes on, I feel like I'll never make that transition to being ready...I feel like I'll get too comfortable with how things are and not even want to pursue a relationship...who knows... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I've never done AAS (Androgenic Anabolic Steroids), but i'll admit.. I was the same way when I used legal anabolics (Prohormones - which are NOW banned)... I'm just a fitness junkie now. Not a 'meathead'... don't have that SAME time as I once did as an undergrad while I'm in graduate school. I'm all about staying VERY fit.. addicted to fitness. When I used hormonal supplements... I tended to be moody... I was single when I cycled, though... for a reason. I study metabolism & endocrinology.. I knew what would happen. :| Hmmm, so Rob is jacked...I think we'd get along...but you have like half a foot on me or so probably...and a few pounds of muscley goodness...I think you'd be a good workout partner... Link to post Share on other sites
annxxdisaster Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 GC, you're right about this...but it certainly feels like there's pressure from my friends whenever I'm visiting down here in Florida to "get over by getting under"...and Tampa is probably the most ridiculous place on this planet for finding women... But like Rob, I don't do casual sex...just not something I'm interested in...and I agree that bars and clubs aren't exactly the best places to meet women for real relationships...but I don't know if I could say that about Tampa...they ALL come out... I know I'm not ready, but as time goes on, I feel like I'll never make that transition to being ready...I feel like I'll get too comfortable with how things are and not even want to pursue a relationship...who knows... That's really nice to hear that there are guys out there who don't like casual sex. It really is. I fell into the trap of believing ALL men would sleep with ANY thing pretty much. I'm the same way. It's really hard for me to separate feelings from being intimate with someone. The one time I tried it, I almost ended up crying during sex, yeah...awkward. Call me Rob. And this is doppelganger week... cool. Apparently I look exactly like Chester Bennington from Linkin Park LOL Male version of my name, awesome. My name is BJ, well Bobbie Jo. But you'll remember it better if you think of BJ first. That's not a bad person to look like! Linkin Park is good falling asleep to music. I've been told I look like Duffy, and apparently Julia Roberts during her Pretty Woman days... I don't know how I feel about that last one.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 That's really nice to hear that there are guys out there who don't like casual sex. It really is. I fell into the trap of believing ALL men would sleep with ANY thing pretty much. I'm the same way. It's really hard for me to separate feelings from being intimate with someone. The one time I tried it, I almost ended up crying during sex, yeah...awkward. Male version of my name, awesome. My name is BJ, well Bobbie Jo. But you'll remember it better if you think of BJ first. That's not a bad person to look like! Linkin Park is good falling asleep to music. I've been told I look like Duffy, and apparently Julia Roberts during her Pretty Woman days... I don't know how I feel about that last one.. Hahaha B. I'm more of a gentleman than that... bj.. sheesh. I like Jo speaking of Jo... I just made plans with an ex girlfriend named Joanna... that'll bite me in the ass (she initiated it, too... heh and she's probably the hottest woman I've ever been with (LT relationship too - bad breakup over religion, she came back to me after 1.5 years of NC)... she's an 11/10. and she's my height 6'... ok I'm 6'1".. she's a little shorter. Jo, if you were Jewish and near me.. I'd ask you to go on a casual friendship date with me right now. Link to post Share on other sites
annxxdisaster Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Hahaha B. I'm more of a gentleman than that... bj.. sheesh. I like Jo speaking of Jo... I just made plans with an ex girlfriend named Joanna... that'll bite me in the ass (she initiated it, too... heh and she's probably the hottest woman I've ever been with (LT relationship too - bad breakup over religion, she came back to me after 1.5 years of NC)... she's an 11/10. and she's my height 6'... ok I'm 6'1".. she's a little shorter. Jo, if you were Jewish and near me.. I'd ask you to go on a casual friendship date with me right now. My cousin in Jewish and I can make a mean loaf of Challah! I wish I was Jewish, does that count? And the only reason I came up with the whole BJ thing is for drunk people I'd meet at parties. No one EVER forgets the girl named BJ. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 There are a couple of things that really stood out for me. First -- Why wouldn't anyone else feel that way towards you again? Do you not feel as though you are worthy of being cared about? If you keep a positive attitude, I can promise you that someone will care about you again... and this time it'll be more real than the last. But if you carry around a negative attitude towards that sort of thing, well... us girls can smell that from a mile away. I don't quite know how to explain it...I talked with my friend tonight at the bar about this...and I don't think it's a matter of confidence anymore or not feeling as though I'm worthy of being cared about...because I know I am a good catch... I actually stared at the wall just now for about 2 minutes wondering how to explain it, and I gave up... And it doesn't really matter what attitude or vibe I'm putting out...I'm not really interested in picking up any girls, so I don't really care too much about what they think of me... You are an awesome guy Kelvin, I don't see why you would have any problem with finding someone that cares about you! I think that the hardest part is finding someone that you care about in return. Thanks for the kind words...I think part of the frustration is being in Tampa...as much as I love it here, and also hate it with a passion...because what makes me "awesome" isn't necessarily the same "awesome" that women here are looking for... And that goes with my whole confidence thing...I know I'm the f*cking sh*t, I'm not gonna lie...but I approach women knowing that what I've got isn't going to interest them...perhaps a poor assumption on my part, but I'd like to think I'm completely correct...I almost approach women like I would if I were talking to a guy... Second -- You and Rob are both amazing men. There seems to be this nagging feeling with the both of you though that craves love. Can you both be truly happy without being in relationships? Have you thought about it? No one can make you happy but yourself. When you put that task solely on another human being, you will be very very disappointed and let down in the end. You can't allow one single person to have that much power over you. You have to be happy on your own before you can be honestly happy with someone else. In the most healthiest way possible. I don't think either of you need to be in relationships to be happy. You both have soooo much going for you. You both should be very proud of your accomplishments, and the men you've both come to be. You're right. I don't think we need to be in a relationship to be happy. We have enough going for us that we don't need someone else there to occupy our time or attention. But again I think it's just been all this perceived pressure of "moving on" and "having fun" in these prime years of life... And you're right...I learned that important lesson from my breakup that I can never put my happiness on the shoulders of another person...it's not a burden that anyone should ever have to bear...and it's the cause for many unhealthy relationships...especially unhealthy second/third/fourth/etc. chances because of that perceived "need" for that other person... I can operate just fine independently of another person...but I only fear that I will grow so comfortable with the way things used to be (alone, but content) before my ex, that I won't bother trying again... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 My cousin in Jewish and I can make a mean loaf of Challah! I wish I was Jewish, does that count? And the only reason I came up with the whole BJ thing is for drunk people I'd meet at parties. No one EVER forgets the girl named BJ. Kelvin, you're always welcome up here! And you're welcome to lift with me ANYTIME. I'm a former intercollegiate football player + personal trainer... i'll kick your ass in the gym! Marine or not hahaha Bobbie Jo, May I call you Jo? A mean loaf of challah, eh? We could make this work. Dress warm.. I'll pick you up at 7 tomorrow Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Kelvin, you're always welcome up here! And you're welcome to lift with me ANYTIME. I'm a former intercollegiate football player + personal trainer... i'll kick your ass in the gym! Marine or not hahaha Hahah, awesome. Don't worry, I have my share of crazy weirdness I'd have you try...I'd probably be this little oompa loompa standing next to you though...hah... But seriously though, I really am planning to come up sometime in March. I'm positive Erica would be interested too. Let me know some dates which would be good so we can make this happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Hahah, awesome. Don't worry, I have my share of crazy weirdness I'd have you try...I'd probably be this little oompa loompa standing next to you though...hah... But seriously though, I really am planning to come up sometime in March. I'm positive Erica would be interested too. Let me know some dates which would be good so we can make this happen. how tall are you? And sounds good. I'll try to look ahead with all the upcoming studies starting up in my department. Link to post Share on other sites
annxxdisaster Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Kelvin, you're always welcome up here! And you're welcome to lift with me ANYTIME. I'm a former intercollegiate football player + personal trainer... i'll kick your ass in the gym! Marine or not hahaha Bobbie Jo, May I call you Jo? A mean loaf of challah, eh? We could make this work. Dress warm.. I'll pick you up at 7 tomorrow You most certainly may. I answer to pretty much anything, except Booby...that never caught on. http://i48.tinypic.com/2ihbgk9.jpg That was my last batch of wonderful Challah. It turned out soo golden and beautiful. And oh I'll be ready and waiting, you better figure out how long it's going to take you to get to Wisconsin. If you're not here by 7...well you know what they say...'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 That's really nice to hear that there are guys out there who don't like casual sex. It really is. I fell into the trap of believing ALL men would sleep with ANY thing pretty much. I'm the same way. It's really hard for me to separate feelings from being intimate with someone. The one time I tried it, I almost ended up crying during sex, yeah...awkward. Well, I was a late bloomer and completely missed out on the "sow thy wild oats" phase of life in high school and college...so I never experienced it or saw the appeal in it...and as time went on, sex was more meaningful to me (you tend to cherish that which you don't have...), so I only wanted sex in a relationship with someone I cared about...and more importantly, with someone who cared about me... But apparently now "I'm supposed to make up for lost time," in the words of my Tampa friend, and "have fun"...but it's something that doesn't really interest me... And now I'm debating whether I'm not interested because of my failure rate with said women, or me not being over my ex, or some other reason which makes me strange and unusual to my peers... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 how tall are you? And sounds good. I'll try to look ahead with all the upcoming studies starting up in my department. 5'8", about 155. Yea, let me know, I'll have to arrange to take some time off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 You most certainly may. I answer to pretty much anything, except Booby...that never caught on. http://i48.tinypic.com/2ihbgk9.jpg That was my last batch of wonderful Challah. It turned out soo golden and beautiful. And oh I'll be ready and waiting, you better figure out how long it's going to take you to get to Wisconsin. If you're not here by 7...well you know what they say...'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'. Them some nice Challahs ...I guess I better start driving... or you can move to Massachusetts! 5'8", about 155. Yea, let me know, I'll have to arrange to take some time off. 5'8" is the average adult male height... ok 5'9" is... but 5'8" is 1" less than 5'9"... is that's the average... you're in the 49th %ile if I'm doing my math correctly... (probably not since it's 12:14AM and I'm exhausted) you're taller than 48% of the adult male population Link to post Share on other sites
annxxdisaster Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Well, I was a late bloomer and completely missed out on the "sow thy wild oats" phase of life in high school and college...so I never experienced it or saw the appeal in it...and as time went on, sex was more meaningful to me (you tend to cherish that which you don't have...), so I only wanted sex in a relationship with someone I cared about...and more importantly, with someone who cared about me... But apparently now "I'm supposed to make up for lost time," in the words of my Tampa friend, and "have fun"...but it's something that doesn't really interest me... And now I'm debating whether I'm not interested because of my failure rate with said women, or me not being over my ex, or some other reason which makes me strange and unusual to my peers... If sex is more of a meaningful act to you and you're still a little hung up on your ex...I would say it seems to be that reason more than anything else. I'm the same way. Until I was over my first ex, even my current ex, I don't even find anyone of the opposite sex attractive in that way. They're just people I'll casually talk to, even if we exchange numbers I don't think of it as anything other than casual conversation. The only thing that makes you different than your peers would be that you seem to actually want a person you can be with and care about before you want to sleep with them--that level of respect doesn't come from a lot males, hell even females. It's a really admirable trait. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 5'8" is the average adult male height... ok 5'9" is... but 5'8" is 1" less than 5'9"... is that's the average... you're in the 49th %ile if I'm doing my math correctly... (probably not since it's 12:14AM and I'm exhausted) you're taller than 48% of the adult male population Thanks buddy...your words just saved me from jumping out of the window... And no, I have absolutely no height issues...as far as a chinaman goes, I'm apparently doing alright...height and weight wise...I do what I can with what I've got...so absolutely no complaints there... Link to post Share on other sites
annxxdisaster Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Them some nice Challahs ...I guess I better start driving... or you can move to Massachusetts! Tell me what kind of PhD programs they have there for Clinical or Social Psychology, or Forensic Psychology if you really want to be convincing. Or if they get less snow and have a more forgiving wind chill than good ol' Wisconsin, I'll probably be sold. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Kelvin, what I got from the post you made was that you aren't really too sure what you want. Yes, there are a lot of pressures when it comes to relationships, even sex... but just because one person is living their life a certain way, most certainly does not mean that you have to live it that way also. You are still healing from your past relationship. What you want now, may be completely different from what you want when you are done healing. And that's ok! You don't need to make any set plans on how you want to live your life. That always changes with experience. And I know this time is tough for you right now, so many thoughts and ideas going through your head, but just know sometimes it takes us going through this experience to really find out who we want to be. You'll be just fine Kelvin. I'm sure of it. Hahah, awesome. Don't worry, I have my share of crazy weirdness I'd have you try...I'd probably be this little oompa loompa standing next to you though...hah... But seriously though, I really am planning to come up sometime in March. I'm positive Erica would be interested too. Let me know some dates which would be good so we can make this happen. Yes! Definitely!!! I miss Boston soooo much! I had the time of my life living up there! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Tell me what kind of PhD programs they have there for Clinical or Social Psychology, or Forensic Psychology if you really want to be convincing. Or if they get less snow and have a more forgiving wind chill than good ol' Wisconsin, I'll probably be sold. This is New England... you never know what the weather is going to be, but I can say NOTHING beats a New England Fall / Holiday Season. It's PERFECT. With schools out here like NYU (New York, I know... EWWW), Harvard, Yale, University of Connecticut, University of Massachusetts Amherst, Boston Uni, Boston College, Providence College, etc, etc... I'd say you have a fairly good selection with prestigious programs Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Thanks buddy...your words just saved me from jumping out of the window... And no, I have absolutely no height issues...as far as a chinaman goes, I'm apparently doing alright...height and weight wise...I do what I can with what I've got...so absolutely no complaints there... you're so cute. lol Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 If sex is more of a meaningful act to you and you're still a little hung up on your ex...I would say it seems to be that reason more than anything else. I'm the same way. Until I was over my first ex, even my current ex, I don't even find anyone of the opposite sex attractive in that way. They're just people I'll casually talk to, even if we exchange numbers I don't think of it as anything other than casual conversation. The only thing that makes you different than your peers would be that you seem to actually want a person you can be with and care about before you want to sleep with them--that level of respect doesn't come from a lot males, hell even females. It's a really admirable trait. Well thanks BJ...it's nice to know that at least some women see that favorably...and you may be right...even with the absolute plethora of amazing looking women in this city, I don't think I felt that kind of attraction towards any of them... Oh god...am I gay now...?!?! :laugh: But anyway, I'd talk to a lot of them, but it was always limited to a little casual conversation, and then I'd be off to find my friends at the bar...get stopped by another girl...chat for a little bit and then move on... It's strange...a lot of guys will get nervous when trying to chat up women they're trying to pick up...but I've always approached women as if I weren't trying to "pick them up"...it makes conversation much more casual, natural, and flowing...and now I don't even feel like I'm all that interested in talking with them...unless they were already friends of mine... Grrr...I hate you, Tampa... Link to post Share on other sites
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