Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Plus, Jo... I'm here Link to post Share on other sites
annxxdisaster Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 (edited) It's strange...a lot of guys will get nervous when trying to chat up women they're trying to pick up...but I've always approached women as if I weren't trying to "pick them up"...it makes conversation much more casual, natural, and flowing...and now I don't even feel like I'm all that interested in talking with them...unless they were already friends of mine... I'm the exact same way, well at least with the casual conversation part. I don't even know what takes me from being friends to being in a relationship with a guy. I mean, they're all pretty much friends to me until something just flips that switch on my end. I've never had that magical connection with someone yet where I felt like I needed to be with them the moment I saw them. But it seems to me like it may just be another stage of the healing process? Or you just haven't talked to a girl yet who's flipped your own relationship switch yet. Plus, Jo... I'm here If you're implying you can be a sugar daddy, I'm all in. I don't require much to be happy, just give me an animal or two and I'm pretty content. OH and some coloring books. I kid about the sugar daddy part, I'd like you anyway especially since you're Jewish. Edited February 1, 2010 by annxxdisaster Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 you're so cute. lol I'm speechless... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 But it seems to me like it may just be another stage of the healing process? Or you just haven't talked to a girl yet who's flipped your own relationship switch yet. I don't know...I don't think I've even talked to a girl long enough to pull out the switch...and those who I do talk to seem...well...rather hollow... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 I'm the exact same way, well at least with the casual conversation part. I don't even know what takes me from being friends to being in a relationship with a guy. I mean, they're all pretty much friends to me until something just flips that switch on my end. I've never had that magical connection with someone yet where I felt like I needed to be with them the moment I saw them. But it seems to me like it may just be another stage of the healing process? Or you just haven't talked to a girl yet who's flipped your own relationship switch yet. If you're implying you can be a sugar daddy, I'm all in. I don't require much to be happy, just give me an animal or two and I'm pretty content. OH and some coloring books. I kid about the sugar daddy part, I'd like you anyway especially since you're Jewish. I wouldn't want you to fall for me just b/c my family has money. Me? I'm a broke ass PhD candidate.. (I classify my student status b/c you know it's true that way LOL). I'm a good jewish boy... sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Kelvin, what I got from the post you made was that you aren't really too sure what you want. Yes, there are a lot of pressures when it comes to relationships, even sex... but just because one person is living their life a certain way, most certainly does not mean that you have to live it that way also. You are still healing from your past relationship. What you want now, may be completely different from what you want when you are done healing. And that's ok! You don't need to make any set plans on how you want to live your life. That always changes with experience. And I know this time is tough for you right now, so many thoughts and ideas going through your head, but just know sometimes it takes us going through this experience to really find out who we want to be. You'll be just fine Kelvin. I'm sure of it. Yes! Definitely!!! I miss Boston soooo much! I had the time of my life living up there! Hey Erica...so much for Sunday Funday... You're right, my friend here is quite the player...ironically he's in a relationship now...and we had a talk tonight about how he was happier single...and was actually disappointed that his girlfriend didn't try to break up with him tonight...but every time I'm down here visiting, or even when I'm talking to him online, he'll ask, "so have you banged anyone yet...?" Heh...he's a good guy though...but like you said, not someone I'd one to be... And I think you're right about me not knowing what I want...but at the same time, after all this time after the breakup, I feel like I know what I want...yet I don't want it...? Or maybe I'm just not interested in what I should be wanting...? And maybe there's a little jealousy of all my friends who are married or in serious relationships heading towards marriage and what they have...just feels like my life has stagnated in a way...but yea, yea, I know that I shouldn't let that affect me...I just think about it sometimes... And yes, Boston would be hella awesome. It WILL happen... Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Hey Erica...so much for Sunday Funday... You're right, my friend here is quite the player...ironically he's in a relationship now...and we had a talk tonight about how he was happier single...and was actually disappointed that his girlfriend didn't try to break up with him tonight...but every time I'm down here visiting, or even when I'm talking to him online, he'll ask, "so have you banged anyone yet...?" Heh...he's a good guy though...but like you said, not someone I'd one to be... And I think you're right about me not knowing what I want...but at the same time, after all this time after the breakup, I feel like I know what I want...yet I don't want it...? Or maybe I'm just not interested in what I should be wanting...? And maybe there's a little jealousy of all my friends who are married or in serious relationships heading towards marriage and what they have...just feels like my life has stagnated in a way...but yea, yea, I know that I shouldn't let that affect me...I just think about it sometimes... And yes, Boston would be hella awesome. It WILL happen... Ahh, sorry your night didn't go very well! At least you're in Florida, that alone would make me happy I know what you mean about the whole friends being married or in a relationship thing. To be honest, most of the people that I know that are married don't really make me jealous... but more of like "Well, if they can get someone to be with them, then why can't I?!" type of deal. I know I have options, but I can't allow myself to settle. I've done that entirely too much in my life, and it's only made me miserable. Plus, i'm still going throug the ex drama. Which seems to be going surprisingly well lately (makes me wonder what's going on ). Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Ahh, sorry your night didn't go very well! At least you're in Florida, that alone would make me happy I know what you mean about the whole friends being married or in a relationship thing. To be honest, most of the people that I know that are married don't really make me jealous... but more of like "Well, if they can get someone to be with them, then why can't I?!" type of deal. I know I have options, but I can't allow myself to settle. I've done that entirely too much in my life, and it's only made me miserable. Plus, i'm still going throug the ex drama. Which seems to be going surprisingly well lately (makes me wonder what's going on ). Awwwwww Come to Boston with Kelvin! Drinks are on him! I'm sorry with what your ex is putting you through. No one deserves that. You of all people. You're more amazing than I believe you are led to believe... Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Awwwwww Come to Boston with Kelvin! Drinks are on him! I'm sorry with what your ex is putting you through. No one deserves that. You of all people. You're more amazing than I believe you are led to believe... Awww Rob!! You are such a sweetheart! Thank you! It's just tough because of all the things he has put me through in the past, rebuilding trust is seriously one of the hardest things ever. It was very strange, though. I had a dream the other night about me trying to walk through snow. This is the second time that i've had a dream about me trying to walk through snow. I looked up what it meant online, and it basically said that I have repressed emotions. I always knew that I did, but seeing how much it's actually affecting me made me take a step back and think about it. After reading that, it almost felt as though a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I guess accepting it, and knowing that there isn't anything I can do about it right this minute actually took off a lot of the stress. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Awwwwww Come to Boston with Kelvin! Drinks are on him! I'm sorry with what your ex is putting you through. No one deserves that. You of all people. You're more amazing than I believe you are led to believe... Agreed...sometimes I'm jealous of people whose ex's come back or stay in the picture...but I guess it truly is better if they leave you alone in the end...? Awww Rob!! You are such a sweetheart! Thank you! It's just tough because of all the things he has put me through in the past, rebuilding trust is seriously one of the hardest things ever. It was very strange, though. I had a dream the other night about me trying to walk through snow. This is the second time that i've had a dream about me trying to walk through snow. I looked up what it meant online, and it basically said that I have repressed emotions. I always knew that I did, but seeing how much it's actually affecting me made me take a step back and think about it. After reading that, it almost felt as though a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I guess accepting it, and knowing that there isn't anything I can do about it right this minute actually took off a lot of the stress. Hmmm...interesting...I'm glad you're losing some of that stress that's been hounding you lately...so what does it mean if you dream that you're protecting your house from being sieged by dinosaurs...? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Ahh, sorry your night didn't go very well! At least you're in Florida, that alone would make me happy I know what you mean about the whole friends being married or in a relationship thing. To be honest, most of the people that I know that are married don't really make me jealous... but more of like "Well, if they can get someone to be with them, then why can't I?!" type of deal. I know I have options, but I can't allow myself to settle. I've done that entirely too much in my life, and it's only made me miserable. Plus, i'm still going throug the ex drama. Which seems to be going surprisingly well lately (makes me wonder what's going on ). Heheh, true...but it seems every time I go to Florida, I bring the cold weather from DC down with me...my friends have joked that they don't want me coming down here anymore... But I agree, you should never settle for anything less than what you truly want...and yes, I sometimes also get spiteful when I see other couples, especially around in public...I just wonder...how the hell...and then I shake my head...and feel a little worse about myself...and then go about my day like nothing happened...unless I'm drinking...then I drink more...and feel worse about myself...but I'll still be having fun...since I'm with my friends... And my Tampa friend down here, as he will now be known as, has told me when referring to married guys..."just be glad you're not him..." Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Agreed...sometimes I'm jealous of people whose ex's come back or stay in the picture...but I guess it truly is better if they leave you alone in the end...? I think everyone gets something different out of their experience. The fact that this is the third time he has come back to me, and everything him and I have been through, has taught me a lot about myself. Even if it doesn't work out in the end, i'll be forever grateful for the realizations i've come to. Hmmm...interesting...I'm glad you're losing some of that stress that's been hounding you lately...so what does it mean if you dream that you're protecting your house from being sieged by dinosaurs...? It means that you play too many video games But in all seriousness, do you really have dreams about that? I thought I was the only one with the insanely weird dreams. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Heheh, true...but it seems every time I go to Florida, I bring the cold weather from DC down with me...my friends have joked that they don't want me coming down here anymore... But I agree, you should never settle for anything less than what you truly want...and yes, I sometimes also get spiteful when I see other couples, especially around in public...I just wonder...how the hell...and then I shake my head...and feel a little worse about myself...and then go about my day like nothing happened...unless I'm drinking...then I drink more...and feel worse about myself...but I'll still be having fun...since I'm with my friends... And my Tampa friend down here, as he will now be known as, has told me when referring to married guys..."just be glad you're not him..." Yeah, it is tough to not compare yourself to others. Especially when others have something that you want. But everything comes with time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Erica, go check your FB wall... then delete it if you want and come back here and either hate me or love me but it is said with sincere honesty. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 And I'm getting up in 5 hours. g'nite beautiful people. will catch up on the thread tomorrow during class Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I think everyone gets something different out of their experience. The fact that this is the third time he has come back to me, and everything him and I have been through, has taught me a lot about myself. Even if it doesn't work out in the end, i'll be forever grateful for the realizations i've come to. It means that you play too many video games But in all seriousness, do you really have dreams about that? I thought I was the only one with the insanely weird dreams. Yea...I would like to think that when we look back at everything, all that happens to us was for the best and has made us better people after those experiences...but at least your ex still acknowledges your existence and acknowledges the relationship you once had...whether good or bad...it'd be nice to one day get that from my ex...the acknowledgement that I actually existed in her mind...that's all... And yes, that was a very common dream I had when I was younger...it's really one of the few dreams I can remember and recall to this day...but yea, I have my share of really weird dreams...even my ex dreams have weirdness laced throughout... Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 And I'm getting up in 5 hours. g'nite beautiful people. will catch up on the thread tomorrow during class Night, buddy. Take it easy. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Erica, go check your FB wall... then delete it if you want and come back here and either hate me or love me but it is said with sincere honesty. Hmmm...damn not having Facebook...now I'm curious to see what he posted... Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Erica, go check your FB wall... then delete it if you want and come back here and either hate me or love me but it is said with sincere honesty. Awwwww thank you Rob!!! That's very sweet of you! And I'm getting up in 5 hours. g'nite beautiful people. will catch up on the thread tomorrow during class Goodnight Rob!! Yea...I would like to think that when we look back at everything, all that happens to us was for the best and has made us better people after those experiences...but at least your ex still acknowledges your existence and acknowledges the relationship you once had...whether good or bad...it'd be nice to one day get that from my ex...the acknowledgement that I actually existed in her mind...that's all... And yes, that was a very common dream I had when I was younger...it's really one of the few dreams I can remember and recall to this day...but yea, I have my share of really weird dreams...even my ex dreams have weirdness laced throughout... What do you think you would accomplish by knowing that she acknowledges your relationship? I mean, even if she doesn't show you that she does, of course she does. It happened, and it was a big part of her life as well. I think that if she were to actively show you that she still acknowledges it, it would cause more harm than good. Yeah, my dreams can be soooo weird, when I try to explain them to people they look at me like i'm insane I'm really not, I just have the weirdest dreams sometimes! And the nightmares that I have... those are the worst. I wake up crying sometimes I get so scared. It's bad. I wish I didn't remember all of my dreams. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Don't worry Kelvin... it was a creepy message I put on her fb wall. LOL. good night guys. on my phone in bed Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 What do you think you would accomplish by knowing that she acknowledges your relationship? I mean, even if she doesn't show you that she does, of course she does. It happened, and it was a big part of her life as well. I think that if she were to actively show you that she still acknowledges it, it would cause more harm than good. Well, I don't need or want her to actively acknowledge our relationship...because it doesn't exist anymore...I wouldn't want a reminder of that...and you're right...it'd probably do more bad than good...but perhaps acknowledge that I'm still alive...? I don't understand how she can remain friends (be it on the dreaded Book or in real life) with someone who she dated that didn't work out or an ex from before, yet with me, the one she said she'd come the closest to wanting to marry, she's perfectly ok with pitching me aside and pretending I never happened? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Don't worry Kelvin... it was a creepy message I put on her fb wall. LOL. good night guys. on my phone in bed Mmmmm....yum...creepy messages... Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Don't worry Kelvin... it was a creepy message I put on her fb wall. LOL. good night guys. on my phone in bed It was not creepy! It was very nice! Well, I don't need or want her to actively acknowledge our relationship...because it doesn't exist anymore...I wouldn't want a reminder of that...and you're right...it'd probably do more bad than good...but perhaps acknowledge that I'm still alive...? I don't understand how she can remain friends (be it on the dreaded Book or in real life) with someone who she dated that didn't work out or an ex from before, yet with me, the one she said she'd come the closest to wanting to marry, she's perfectly ok with pitching me aside and pretending I never happened? I'm not sure I quite understand? I'm friends with some of my ex's. Do you mean she went back to them? And this girl sounds like she has some issues. I wouldn't even try to figure out what's going on in her head. You'll probably be a lot more sane if you don't go there Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I'm not sure I quite understand? I'm friends with some of my ex's. Do you mean she went back to them? And this girl sounds like she has some issues. I wouldn't even try to figure out what's going on in her head. You'll probably be a lot more sane if you don't go there No, she didn't go back to them. Apparently she doesn't make a habit of going back...but I think we broke up before she was completely detached from me and the relationship... She'll still talk to them if they talk to her or be willing to friend them on the Book. She gave me the ol' time and space thing...6+ months ago...don't expect to ever hear from her again...so I assume that I am no longer even worthy of basic acknowledgement from her...even when the others are...going from meaning the most to her to meaning the least... Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 No, she didn't go back to them. Apparently she doesn't make a habit of going back...but I think we broke up before she was completely detached from me and the relationship... She'll still talk to them if they talk to her or be willing to friend them on the Book. She gave me the ol' time and space thing...6+ months ago...don't expect to ever hear from her again...so I assume that I am no longer even worthy of basic acknowledgement from her...even when the others are...going from meaning the most to her to meaning the least... Yeah, that seems to be the trend. I remember that during the end of both of the relationships I got into with my ex... he made it seem as though I meant nothing to him. And that's when we were together. He had more respect for me when we weren't in a relationship (which makes me think that's why we aren't quick to jump back into another relationship together). It's hard though. Talking or being friends when you still care about them. It's very hard. All I wanted for the longest time was for him to leave me alone, but he never would. I don't know what's worse. Never hearing from them again, or being friends while still caring about them. Link to post Share on other sites
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