BurriedAlive Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 A month and a half ago, I attended a work Christmas party where MM & his W were in attendance. While there is no PA going on between us, that night really solidified the fact that we are having an EA. In fact, I refused to admit that our friendship was an EA up to that point. After the party that night, I felt without a doubt MM's action made me feel like an OW. This was the first time I had ever met W and I can confidently say it will be the last. Have you ever been in a room with your MM and his W? If so, how did she act? How did he act? Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 A month and a half ago, I attended a work Christmas party where MM & his W were in attendance. While there is no PA going on between us, that night really solidified the fact that we are having an EA. In fact, I refused to admit that our friendship was an EA up to that point. After the party that night, I felt without a doubt MM's action made me feel like an OW. This was the first time I had ever met W and I can confidently say it will be the last. Oh really? EA has ended then? Have you ever been in a room with your MM and his W? If so, how did she act? How did he act? Ick. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 So is this a different MM than you have posted about in the past? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Is this the same guy you posted about in the fall? He calls you his "work wife"? If so, back then we ALL gave you advice to back off, detach and stop flirting, stop being his confident, stop being close. FACT is, seems you didn't listen... Sorry... But it's GOOD that you saw his wife, maybe it put things in perspective for you. And maybe made you see that your friendship with him is inappropriate. How did it make you feel? Feeling like the OW? If you two were 'just' friends, you wouldn't have had ANY ISSUES at all meeting his wife, let alone hanging out and talking to her, getting to know her and possibly gain a friendship with her as well. What has happened in the past few months? Have you and MM kissed at all? Crossed the lines? Talked about feelings? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BurriedAlive Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 OMG.....WWIU....What did I ever do to you? Yes this is the same guy I posted about in the fall but still to this day, I have not done anything wrong! There is absolutely NOTHING physical going on and that is the way it is going to stay. And actually, I was looking for to meeting his W and didn't have issues with it BECAUSE we are just friends. And because he is an important work collegue and friend of mine, I was looking forward to meeting her. The only thing that got put into perspective was that this women was the coldest, most stuck up snob I have ever met!!!!!! She didn't show any interest in getting to know me or anyone else her husband works with. She was too busy giving me the stink eye to be nice to anyone. I think the reason for my post was actually in my post. I was wondering what happened when the other OWs on this forum were in the same room as their MMs and their Ws. So please, if you have been in this situation, I would like to hear about it. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Maybe she was off with you because she suspects you are interested in her husband. In that case, her attitude would be perfectly reasonable. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Sounds like you're jealous of his wife. Maybe she was "cold" because she was feeling sick that day, had a panic attack, knows about you, had her period, had a fight with her husband, or just didnt like you Just a thought.... Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Maybe you just want to see negative to justify her H having an affair with you Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Maybe she was off with you because she suspects you are interested in her husband. In that case, her attitude would be perfectly reasonable. I think Anne's right on the money, here. It's quite possible that her H's behavior has been "off" at home.....i.e., him being distracted, inattentive, (maybe cause he's thinking about you...)Maybe their sex life has taken a dip, who knows? If those things are happening, (and they often do when a partner becomes emotionally involved with a third party)....she's naturally going to be wondering where the problems are stemming from. It's also possible that he has a history of infidelity, either EA or PA, that you're unaware of.......... So for him to form a close friendship with another woman, well, it's likely to trigger her suspicions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BurriedAlive Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 Well it wasn't just me. Another guy who works with us says to me the next day: "Was MMs W like you expected her to be?" He then went on about how he expected him to be with someone fun and outgoing. This was a conversation he started, not me... It actually would have been great if we would have hit it off. But I guess things don't always turn out the way we want... Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Why on earth do you want to hit it off with her when you are hitting on her husband?????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BurriedAlive Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 I am NOT hitting on her husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 But you have just said in your OP that you are having an EA. That's close enough. Why do you need to get on with the wife? Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 But you named the thread "meeting the bs" why is she a BS if you're not doing anything wrong? and again, maybe she is fun loving and outgoing and was having a bad night?! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 I am NOT hitting on her husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe not blantently- but you are interested in him and by your own admission, are involved emotionally. Don't ever think for a second she doesn't know this- which undoubtedly explains her bitchiness towards you. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Well it wasn't just me. Another guy who works with us says to me the next day: "Was MMs W like you expected her to be?" He then went on about how he expected him to be with someone fun and outgoing. This was a conversation he started, not me... It actually would have been great if we would have hit it off. But I guess things don't always turn out the way we want... This co-worker was fishing. He knows something is up with you and the MM. No matter how well you think you "hide" something, it can always be found out. Link to post Share on other sites
doushenka Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Have you ever been in a room with your MM and his W? If so, how did she act? How did he act? I think the closest I ever came was meeting the wife of the man upon whom I had the Crush That Would Not Die. Oh, dear. Suddenly she went from a concept to a reality, and I felt about six inches tall. "Aw, nerds!" said my inner Liz Lemon. "She's a real person, just like me!" Didn't kill the crush, but I was even more careful not to be inappropriately affectionate towards him. I think he was the only person in that group of friends that I didn't hug, ever, and I hug everyone. Hey, I'm little and innocent, and mostly I don't mean anything more than friendship by it. Just to be safe, if I dig someone, no hugs. That way lies madness. They never found out, and the Crush That Would Not Die eventually did, for reasons I can't actually talk about. I mean, this place comes up on Google searches and all. I'm relieved I never acted on those feelings, and I hope I never put myself in that situation again -- bad place to be. This is why I'm lucky to have a boyfriend I can talk to about everything. (And now you see why I hang out in the OW/OM forum. I'm not actually a stranger to the desire -- I just never followed up on it.) Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 I want to know if this is the same MM you posted about when you first came here? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BurriedAlive Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 I want to know if this is the same MM you posted about when you first came here? No....that was a PA that started after a night of drinking. I wasn't friends with him before that night and the EA didn't start until many months into the PA. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BurriedAlive Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 But you named the thread "meeting the bs" why is she a BS if you're not doing anything wrong? and again, maybe she is fun loving and outgoing and was having a bad night?! Poor choice of words on my part.... Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 so this is the same or not the same guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BurriedAlive Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 so this is the same or not the same guy? It is the same guy I have been posting about in the past 9 months. I originally found this forum 4 years ago when I was involved in a PA which was a different guy... Different guy completely different story. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Yes I have met the BS, we were introduced, I said hello, she said hello, and then I left. Nothing else to it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 I'm sorry if my post sounded harsh. The only thing that got put into perspective was that this women was the coldest, most stuck up snob I have ever met!!!!!! She didn't show any interest in getting to know me or anyone else her husband works with. She was too busy giving me the stink eye to be nice to anyone. That's because she KNOWS 'something' is between you and her H. Maybe he has mentioned your name alot, too much and it's made her suspicious. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. I also believe that co worker was fishing for your reaction, to see if you said anything negative about his wife, or agreed with him. The people you work with SEE how close you two are, so ofcourse it's crossed their mind that you two are having an affair and something could be going on.. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 No....that was a PA that started after a night of drinking. I wasn't friends with him before that night and the EA didn't start until many months into the PA. Thanks for that clarification. I get all these stories mixed up? And now that you have clarified that situation, could you clarify how you aren't hitting on the w's husband but your are having an EA and referring to him a MM and her BS? Link to post Share on other sites
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