SadandConfusedWA Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 On some level, I enjoy the pain that unrequited love brings. Perhaps not enjoy, but suffering makes me feel alive. Without those "infatuations", my life feels flat, dull and empty. I have been on so many dates but have never felt a genuine connection to any of the men I dated. I felt no excitment in seeing them again, everything felt like I am going through the motions. I like the first few months of the new crush or infatuation the best. That euphoriphic feeling (who cares if it's just an illusion, *I* feel happy), the hope, hint of possibility of the future. I do not like the final stages of it so much as I am mostly just brought back to earth. I realize nothing will ever happen with this person and even worse, that they are not who I thought they were, that they are not who I wanted them to be. There are no highs anymore, just dulled down lows that are slowly fading into indifference. I almost want to hold on...... Link to post Share on other sites
Payden Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 (edited) Crushing on someone or unrequited love, makes zero sense to me. It's a waste of time and emotion. Not everyone stops and looks at situations like this in a "logical, by-the-book" attitude. My crush hit me by surprise on someone online about 5 years ago that quickly turned into falling in love....no lust or any of that BS..I was in love and it was the first time I had ever had such emotional feelings for someone that strongly. We talked on YM and email...twice on the phone about everything....I ..I really, really enjoyed her company even if it was from afar. She was indeed married and I respected that and she did know how I felt and she told me that it could go no further than email and YM.... I had a hard time with that... I would never be able to meet her in person and it hurt...it hurt bad. I think of her every week and I cannot seem to get rid of her in my mind, it's been over two years. Part of me wants her to fade away..part of me never wants to forget, but one thing is for sure, this girl I never met has been the light of my life.... She is the reason I now have a will to succeed and get out of my destructive slump. If I could of walked away and put my effort toward someone I had a chance with..I would, but I didn't. I don't blame myself for not being strong in that situation.... I had true feelings and they outweighed any stupid logic I could of used at that time. I'll never consider it a waste of time..I learned a lot and lessons I will never forget. Edited January 27, 2010 by Payden Link to post Share on other sites
Payden Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 I have a crush. Crushes are fun. I'm glad I have a crush on someone I will never meet in this life. *sighs* That would take away all the joys of having a crush. God bless you lol... I wish I could have that attitude, but people I meet that I can never see in person really bothers me...even if just friends, close friends. I hate that aspect of online lol...it sucks!. So stupid, because if the person actually said ok lets meet...I probably wouldn't do it anyways!..lol Right now though..I think I actually would try it..only as friends though... Link to post Share on other sites
reflecting zen Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 I rarely crush on anyone, but when I do it's intense and lasts a long time. Once it fades completly though - it's gone forever and nothing this person does can bring it back. Same thing happens to me. I have this insane crush on a colleague right now but like TheButterShave, just can't figure her out or what she's thinking. The only way around this is to inherit the power to read minds. If I get over her I will probably not talk or have anything to do with her ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
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