kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 MY EX CALLED ME!! HES NUMBER WAS UNKNOWN, FIRST HE CALLED I SAID HELLO AND I DONT HEAR ANYTHING AND THEN I HANG UP, 2ND ONE HE CALLED HE WHISPERED *I MISS YOU* AND THE 3RD ONE HE SAID *DONT HANG UP!* AAAAAAHh!!! IM GOING CRAZY RIGHT NOOOW! I FEEL HAPPY BUT SAD! HE WAS CRYING AND TELLING ME THAT HE CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT ME AND HE CANT SLEEP, HE CANT GET ME OUT OF HIS MIND. MY BABY IS CRYING AND IT HURTS ME KNOWING THAT BOTH OF US WERE CRYINNG! I ALWAYS CUDDLE HIM WHEN HE IS CRYING! AAHHHH!WTH!! HE SAID THAT HE STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR ME AND *I THINK HE SAID I LOVE YOU BUT IN A LOW VOICE, BUT WHEN I ASK HIM WHAT?HE SAID NOTHING* HE DENIES THAT I HEARD HIM SAY I LOVE YOU! HE SAID HE THINKS WERE NOT MEANT TO BE AND I TOLD HIM YOU DONT SAY THAT BECAUSE U DONT KNOW WHATS IN OUR FUTURE, YOU NEVER KNOW, IF WERE NOT MEANT TO BE WHY DID WE MET?! AND I TOLD HIM, I HATE THE WORD FOREVER NOW AND I DONT BELIEVE IN MEANT TO BE ANYMORE. AND THEN HE STARTED CRYING MORE AND MORE. HE SAID SORRY, AND I TOLD HIM, LOOK, CALL ME WHEN YOU WANT TO COME BACK, I DONT WANT US TO BE FRIENDS, I WANT TO US TO BE MORE THAN THAT. SO JUST CALL ME. ILL BE WAITING, ITS YOUR DECISION. AND HE SAID *OKAY KRISTINA, GOODNIGHT.* AND I SAID *OKAY GOODNIGHT BYE.* AND I HANG UP.OMFG!I CANT BELIEVE I HANG UP FIRST!! I ALWAYS WANT HIM TO HANG UP FIRST!. OMG! WILL HE EVER CALL ME AGAIN OR WHAT?!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! IM SO SCARED! IM SO CONFUSED! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT!! I DIDNT REALLY EXPECT THAT HE WILL CALL TODAAAY! WTH!! IM SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW! I DONT KNOW! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH MORE THAN ANYTHING BUT WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AGAIN! I HOPE HE CALLS ME AGAIN! AHHHHHHHHHH! IDK! AHHHHH! Link to post Share on other sites
Howitzer Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 kristinabopp. Not quite sure what to make of this. Maybe he wants to get back together with you! You should be careful though. Just calm yourself down. If he went a whole month without talking to you, a few more days won't hurt. I really don't want you to set yourself up for disappointment. Take a few days to mull over the phone call. I've been through stages here where I get really excited from talking to my ex, only to realize later on that there was less going on that what was happening in my mind. Please be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 howitzer: i know, i feel impatient again! damn it. i dont like it when i feel impatient, i dont like thinking of stuff again and makes me depressed!. eventhough i am depressed everyday and crying everyday, i feel like my depression will be more and more again. i dont know if he wants to come back though, because he said that he THINK were not meant to be, and HE THINKS its best for us to move on. but i ask him, *did you move on? NO, right?!* you dont know whats the best because u dont know the future.. and he kept crying more again.and said goodnight. aaaaaaaaaahhhhh! im so stupid!i feel like im hoping again! in the back of my mind it says i have to wait and hope! but i dont want to, because what if he doesnt call me back? what if what if! i told him, i went out with a guy, and i feel nasty because i feel like im cheating on you, it end up really bad because i told him i just got out of a relationship and i told the guy to not call me again. i just dont like going out with a guy!! -->thats what i told him.. and idk, he said *so you went out with a guy huh?* and thats what i said. Link to post Share on other sites
Howitzer Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 He missed you, or he misses the relationship, but the important thing is that he hasn't asked to get back together for you. That should be an indicator to how things are going. Do your best not to get your hopes up. I want you to know that I struggle with the same problem right now. You're not alone. I think the most important thing for you is to be happy by yourself first. Otherwise, you are using the other person as a crutch. And that always leaves both parties in a bad position. I don't mean that you have to forget about him. I mean that, you have to find the other things in your life that make you happy. You have to bring balance back to yourself. I know you told me that where you are makes it difficult :-/ I just want you to calm down, until you can rationally look back on what happened. Please take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 HOWITZER: it sucks for us having to suffer like this you know.. mind games is more annoying. its like your think of everything and u just never stop thinking. thats what make it more harder. i just made a new plan, instead of me enrolling this fall i will enroll this summer so i can go back to dc asap for me to be able to have fun and maybe at least hang out with my friend. that way, ill be more okay, than being in here suffering more and more alone with all this problems.. i will try and do my best to not expect anything.. try not to hope*even if its really really hard*. but thanks howitzer!! if you dont mind, what happend to ur relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Howitzer Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Could you just go back to DC without enrolling? That is sort of what I'm doing right now. I took a medical leave (stress) and went back home to just chill and have fun with my friends. I have to say, it's going really well. I feel pretty stress free, and I can deal with my problems on my own time. I don't know if there's much to say about my relationship. Or maybe I've just talked about it a lot already. Dated this girl for six months, was almost at the point of proposing, but she had a change of heart after going to Europe. We were going to do long distance for two years. She broke up with me, but I guess we're on good terms still. I'm pretty sad over her, but I worked on the rest of my life, and I'm really happy with myself overall. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 i cant just go to dc, because i have nowhere to stay. i have to do financial aid/loan and right now im looking for job online so that when i get to dc i just have to go to interviews or if im lucky enough ill prbably have the job already that time. your so lucky. if i just have the money right now,hell yea, ill go back to dc and have fun. but im so not goin to meet up with him. im more free and comfortable living by myself than being w/ family. im more organized and determined. ouuch. good thing you didnt propose to her yet! thats more painful if you already proposed to her and then she just break up. thats what im going through right now. why did u not do NC right away?i wanted to be friend with my ex too, but i feel like NC is more better because i dont think i will be able to handle it if i saw him with someone else.. Oh yea btw he told me he HAVENT seeing someone else.. he said its hard. thatswhat i heard HAVENT.but idk what does that mean. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 The bottom line is that he hasn't asked to get back together. Therefore, it's a really bad idea to follow him to DC. You can't spend your life hoping you and he get back together, nor should you drive yourself insane analyzing every tiny little thing, like what he may or may not have said under his breath or the fact that his sister sent you some Farmville thing. You said the right thing when you told him not to call unless he wanted to get back together. I said that to my ex too, but never heard from him again. I'm not saying this to discourage you, and I know it won't make you stop freaking out, but for right now the best thing to do is work on developing your own life in your own city. Please, please, please don't follow someone overseas who broke up with you. I'm proud of you for laying down the law with him. Nice work! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 no. im not following him in DC. all my friends are in dc, im going back for school.i just came back here in california because i have no choice that time thats why i have to go back here. but now im moving back there,coz i feel happy and free in dc. i can do anything i want. im more confident. my life and friends is in there. while here in california, im more trap and depressed. when did u guys broke up? how many months did u do NC? who break NC and how long ago did u tell him about him that he can only call u if he wants to go back w/u? Link to post Share on other sites
dianna Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 haha..im so happy for you..i saw your comments in many posts that you were felt jelousy for the ones that reconciled ) how ironic..this time..maybe YOU will reconcile Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 DIANA! i know, but i dont know if he will call me back again. im like hoping for something i dont know.. which is hard and my mind just cant stop thinking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 when did u guys broke up? how many months did u do NC? who break NC and how long ago did u tell him about him that he can only call u if he wants to go back w/u? Broke up: July '07 NC: Sept '07 to June '08 Phone call in which I told him he can only call if he wants to be together: June '08 (he called me) Haven't heard from him or seen him since. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 sedgwick: ouch. its been 2 yrs. that sucks big time. at least you move on though.. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 sedgwick: ouch. its been 2 yrs. that sucks big time. at least you move on though.. Haven't moved on at all. Love him as much as the day he left. Haven't had so much as a date since. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 ouuch. im so sorry. i feel your pain.. let time do the works for you. its amazing how love can make us suffer.. Link to post Share on other sites
ginyi1111 Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Lucky you!! It's been 2 months of NC, not a word. Not even a whisper... Im utterly heartbroken...but there is nothing I can do... Link to post Share on other sites
Howitzer Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 I have not gone NC yet because I didn't feel it was the right thing to do. I guess I'll do it when I feel like I need to, even though I know everyone here recommends it. I just want to feel why I'm doing it when I actually do. I think I might be getting there though. When I go NC, I don't want it to be a waiting game to see when my ex will call me back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 ginyi1111: well, last night was the first time he called after the break up and 1month NC. i dont know if he will call me back again after of what i told him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 howitzer:i feel like talking to him again.. but i was just doing NC to heal.. and lil bit of my head is doing nc to see if he will talk to me again.. idk. im so sad.because my mind is playing games again and i just never stop thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Howitzer Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Sometimes, I feel like I can't let a thought/feeling go until I've resolved it, and I've beaten it down. I find that that usually takes a long time, and is really painful, so now I just take it a little bit at a time. I don't stress myself out by consuming my mind with painful thoughts all at once. I think of it as trying to condense your months long moving on into a short amount of time. I know I've said this before, but try, try to find some sort of outlet or distraction. Even if it's making a pointless trip somewhere, like the grocery store. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 i did and i will keep trying. i wish time goes faster specially that im here in a town called boring. its like time goes by so slowly for those who wait.. Link to post Share on other sites
Howitzer Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 So what do you do on a daily basis? Give me a better idea of what's around you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 26, 2010 Author Share Posted January 26, 2010 laptop all the time. watching movie, processing my college stuff, looking for a job in dc online, chatting, i cant go out because theres nowhere to go, i live in an empty city and our house is located at the most emptiest place ever, searching for some cheap rooms in dc. can you imagine how i live my life here? Link to post Share on other sites
Howitzer Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 :-/ That sucks. You're really gonna have to think up of things to do to keep yourself busy. I think doing active things, even stuff like cleaning, or cooking might make you more happier than just vegging out and watching movies. Looks like you come onto Loveshack a lot. That's not a bad thing; you should always feel comfortable enough to come here to find out. But it also indicates that you have this on your mind all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kristinabopp Posted January 26, 2010 Author Share Posted January 26, 2010 i knooow it sucks big time!! i just cant wait to move out in this house and live my life the way i wanted to. well, loveshack is making my day ok specially if i read some success stories. im like a prisoner in this house. haha i cook and clean all the time. but after that, sadness or dpression is striking me. Link to post Share on other sites
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