beanzmom Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 HI: I've posted here before about my H. We are splitting up. I'm concerned about my finances and being able to afford basics for my kids without having to declare bankruptcy. My question is this... H has a part-time job, with the chance of going full-time upon graduation. H has (for all intents and purposes) quit school about a year away from graduating with his degree. As I can't shoulder all our financial burden myself, is there an offside chance that the judge would "order" H to obtain full-time work to support his children and shoulder some of our debt, or am I relegated to declaring bankruptcy just to keep a home over our heads? He has no physical limitations or problems, he hasn't worked full-time in about 4 years under his own power... Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 While a judge cannot make someone work, or someone underemployed work more...the judge can still make the spouse financially responsible for a share of child support and liable for a share of debt...not based on what they earn but what is owed and what is needed. To have that amount reduced, the underemployed spouse will have to really really prove that they are simply unable to earn more. Doesnt sound like he will be able to do that, so to meet his debt and payments he is going to have to work full time, 2 jobs, whatever it takes. AND this works both ways. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 IME, the court apportions the responsibility, executes the orders and it's up to the parties, through agreement or judicial action, to enforce them. If one party is adamant about ignoring such orders and has proper legal advice in how to do so, it can be quite expensive and often fruitless to get 'blood out of a turnip'. While the turnip stereotypically is male, I've seen the reverse as well, where the woman abrogates her agreements and judicial orders. OP, I think you'd be wise to have BK set up as a fallback. There's a good chance your H already has this plan B in place. Better safe and somewhat solvent, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author beanzmom Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 My situation is that I am able to make payments on house, car, student loan, etc. etc. but would not be able to put food on the table. period. I would have less than a dollar left over at the end of the month after paying all bills. So a few hundred dollars' worth of help would go a LONG way. I'm even willing to forego child support temporarily until H is better able to support himself. But NOT forever. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Do NOT forego child support temporarily. Do NOT, you will screw yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 In both the U.S. and Canada, child support isn't negotiable. For many jurisdictions, it's preset tables, based on income earned by each spouse. If he's dodging his share of child support and you can't afford a lawyer, you can get legal aid from the government, to start a garnishee on his wages, part time or otherwise. Have the two of you not filed any kind of custody or separation agreement? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Yes, IMO, it's better to get the order and modify it as appropriate, legally. That way there's a paper trail. I do know enough men, though all self-employed, who have avoided enforcement of such orders to know that having an order doesn't mean a guaranteed income. This is especially true if the arrears extend beyond the date of maturity. As in most legal matters, it's far healthier to settle for something that is mutually agreeable and enforceable. Calling a guy a deadbeat, even with a court order in hand, isn't going to make him pay. Figure out a positive way and IMO don't depend on the government to do the job for you. They will help you if you're persistent. Hope it works out Link to post Share on other sites
Author beanzmom Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 Thanks for the advice. H brings in less than $600 per month. the attorney I saw said I would most likely have to pay him allimony on top of shouldering all the debt. That would break me completely. I would lose the house, the kids and I would have nowhere to go if that happened. I'm so scared about the money thing. Like I said, bankruptcy is an option if that happens, but we have excellent credit now and I don't want to ruin that. But I guess that's the story all over when it comes to divorce... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 IMO, if you can right now afford your house, have a lawyer crunch the numbers on a BK and factor in the credit hit. The restructure should prioritize the house and your ability to work, e.g. transportation (a car) and effect a reasonable payment plan for the rest, including possible delay/forgiveness of debt. Be aware of tax ramifications. My advice is to position yourself as well as you can financially before taking the credit hit. Have your ducks in a row. Don't count on your ex to help out but definitely make sure he is charged legally with the appropriate obligation to do so. It'll all work out. BTW, you can, dependent on jurisdiction, include a petition for relief from spousal support (you paying him alimony) when you file your initial documents with the court. My stbx did that and, like yourself, she made more money than me. I think that's a good idea. Things will likely get worse before they get better. One day at a time... Link to post Share on other sites
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