cogent_love Posted January 25, 2010 Share Posted January 25, 2010 Okay, my parents are divorced. My brother and I used to go to each parent's house every other week (together). When I was about 13 I moved in with my mom, and my brother moved in with dad. About a year ago, or maybe a little more, he moved into my mom's house. He drives me crazy. In the past he was lazy, extremely rude, mean, arrogant, and a know it all. He has improved (and I am not saying I am an angel here, don't worry!) but still annoys the hell out of me. He tries to get out of doing his chores without consequences. Where I am told to do the dishes before I step foot out of the house to go anywhere, he can drive off and leave them there for hours at a time. He knocks things off the shelf in the shower (my things) and never picks them up. He spilled most of my antibacterial soap for my piercing and didn't apologize or get more. He sends me texts about things I do that annoy him but when I contact him he doesn't feel the need to ever respond. Eats my food and doesn't replace it until I ask him like 5 times. Says he is too poor to pick up milk, and I come home and he has a new $400 gun. WTF? Milk is $5.... He knows everything. He says he wants to hang out, but starts it with whining. "You neevvvver hang out wittttthh meeeeeeeee" Over and over again. And then only wants to do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it. Then he says stuff like "You're a bad sister" "But you're my siiiiiister"... He is 21. DEAR GOD. Haha. what do I do?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 Tell him, yes, you ARE his sister...and that's why you love him so much. But for people to hang with, you prefer and choose individuals who take more personal responsibility for their life and their life experiences; and who act more like adults than he has been doing. Tell him no worries, though. You have LOTS of understanding and patience, and you're really looking forward to the day that he has consistently demonstrated his ability to act his age, so that you'll feel good and comfortable hanging with him. Assure him that this is not about sibling love or sibling relationships at all...it is about what you value and prefer, and how you expect to be treated by ALL the people with whom you choose to have a close relationship. It's about healthy boundaries and standing up for one's Self. Tell him, even if he doesn't appreciate these excellent life lessons that you are helping him learn...his future girlfriends and wife sure will Link to post Share on other sites
Author cogent_love Posted January 26, 2010 Author Share Posted January 26, 2010 You saved my life!!! thank you! Haha, seriously, great advice. I really appreciate it. I've been trying to figure out how to explain it to him. Perfect! Link to post Share on other sites
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