Millie86 Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 Oh dear... Background: Together for 3years, the final year was fairly long distance (seeing each other every 2weeks), we increasingly were having lots of squabbles, we hadn't seen each other much over the summer, i was about to go on a 3 month intensive work placement. So on September 30th he broke up with me and broke my heart. Said he couldn't handle the ups and downs, had given up a long time ago (he had previously tried to end things twice but i wouldn't let him). I spent the next few months concentrating hard on my placement, with lots of tears, moving on weeks, and thinking of ways to get him back weeks. You know the deal - fine one day, all over the place the next, an emotional roller coaster. I even bought the magic of making up book ha! So a few weeks ago i was in the place that so many of you are now. Couldn't stop thinking about him, wanted him back. Had tried no contact and it had worked for up to 3weeks at a time - but still I loved him? I decide to tell him this - that i'm confused, why do we still love each other after so long etc etc and......... he says - maybe we should start dating again.. I was blown away as you can imagine. So the big day comes (yesterday) and everything goes really well. He tells me he shouldn't stay over as we're not in that place right now. This I agree with as I know it's right. I want to leave him wanting more right... But then today ah - I sleep with him. He held back and I pushed for it.. I said nothing about contraception knowing full well i'm not on the pill. I then had to tell him this after and although he should have checked, he's disappointed. Also the whole let's get to know each other again, date, keep the fun spirit of things has been RUINED. He now knows i'll give myself to him. I know i didn't say anything about condoms as in my heart of hearts, i was thinking.. if we have a child he'll marry me and we'll be together forever. PSYCHO eeeek. Help! My friends are very cross with me so am a bit stuck as to where to turn. Sorry for the essay, have tried to keep it as short as i can. So tomorrow morning before he heads back he's coming with me to sort out the morning after pill. I feel ashamed and that i've ruined the best possible chance for a reconciliation. Please share any thoughts! Thank you xxx Link to post Share on other sites
Howitzer Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 That was probably not the best thing to do in your situation, but it is understandable how you felt that way. You were feeling desperate, and needed some way to get a connection between the two of you. Just....don't do stuff like this next time. It really isn't helping. Link to post Share on other sites
councilseeker Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 If my ex would do that to me I wouldn't want anything to do with her ever again. That's messed up. You don't use human life as a bargaining tool. Link to post Share on other sites
within2 Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 I'm glad you told him the truth and realized that you can never make something work by having a child together. Thats like one of the worst things you can do. Thats like using a child to keep a man. yikes..... Link to post Share on other sites
sunrae Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 Millie, Be careful youre playing with fire.... Some people wont be cornered even if you have a child out of wed lock. My exhusband has 3, yes 3 children from different women... he married none of them. (Thank God we dont have any children).. You could end up like one of his babies momma's, alone and a single mother.... Link to post Share on other sites
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