So stressed out, Mental breakdown-bound...

January 26, 2010

it's so dumb too because I know there are far worse situations

i could be in and far worse things going on in the world, I shouldn't

complain.

Still i'm so stressed out with things, so busy, I'm working every single

day of the week, I can't quit because I REALLY need the money to

take care of my wife and child, Looking for another job so I don't have

to work on the weekends, getting NO sleep because of Baby (who i love

so much, don't get me wrong), My wife is getting Needier, wanting me

to be home (but she understands & thanks & appreciates me for it) and

then I feel guilty about it all, about not having enough to provide, about

being away from baby and wife, etc etc

I'm also not playing any Music at all, something I loved for years,

something I really thought I was going to do for a living, not doing it.

No Time. Can't afford to take risks or be out playing at night. My own

fault though, I couldve tried harder when I had more time on my hands

as a youngster, I mean I "tried", but I never really jumped head first

into it and had no fear, i had fears, i let things hold me back...I REALLY

thought I could've done it. I'm good too, Just didn't pan out. I still

have dellusions that I still could but they are just fantasies

Anyway, blah blah blah, i'll get a handle on it. It's just hard...I'm the

LAST person to admit his spirit is broken and i'm down right now, but

I'm going to get back up. Just having a bad day i suppose, ha.

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