Eeyore79 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 I have a line that I draw in terms of wealth and social status: a guy should be wealthy enough for us to have a reasonable lifestyle and afford to marry and raise kids, and he should be sociable enough to go out occasionally and have a few friends. Beyond that, anything else is icing on the cake... if a guy is too wealthy or sociable it can actually be off-putting, because he obviously works too many hours and doesn't have time for me. If a guy earns an average amount and doesn't have huge amounts of debt or expenses, then I'm pretty happy. I just want him to be able to finance half of a nice place to live, dinner and days out at weekends, a nice yearly holiday, and eventually a modest wedding and a couple of kids. If he has huge amounts of debt, or huge expenses (like child support payments), and these would have a detrimental effect on our lifestyle because he doesn't earn enough to cover them, then it puts me off. Link to post Share on other sites
Itzo Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 I have a line that I draw in terms of wealth and social status: a guy should be wealthy enough for us to have a reasonable lifestyle and afford to marry and raise kids, and he should be sociable enough to go out occasionally and have a few friends. Beyond that, anything else is icing on the cake... if a guy is too wealthy or sociable it can actually be off-putting, because he obviously works too many hours and doesn't have time for me. If a guy earns an average amount and doesn't have huge amounts of debt or expenses, then I'm pretty happy. I just want him to be able to finance half of a nice place to live, dinner and days out at weekends, a nice yearly holiday, and eventually a modest wedding and a couple of kids. If he has huge amounts of debt, or huge expenses (like child support payments), and these would have a detrimental effect on our lifestyle because he doesn't earn enough to cover them, then it puts me off. lol, I would take a woman like that Link to post Share on other sites
nddb Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 90% of romance novels have the guy as rich, or royalty, or billionaire, or heir to some fortune. The industry turns out tens of millions of books/year. 99.99% of romance novels are read by women. You can draw your own conclusion. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 lol, I would take a woman like that Okay... maybe he would have to finance a little more than half if I was earning less due to taking care of our children But while we were childless, everything would be split down the middle, and even after having kids I would still work as much as I could. Link to post Share on other sites
DiscoChick Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 90% of romance novels have the guy as rich, or royalty, or billionaire, or heir to some fortune. The industry turns out tens of millions of books/year. 99.99% of romance novels are read by women. You can draw your own conclusion. Women like to read... Link to post Share on other sites
nddb Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Women like to read... lmao...touche Link to post Share on other sites
Awesome Username Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 90% of romance novels have the guy as rich, or royalty, or billionaire, or heir to some fortune. The industry turns out tens of millions of books/year. 99.99% of romance novels are read by women. You can draw your own conclusion. It's like porno for girls. Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 As long as he has the REALLY important things already - being a gent, good heart, kind, morals, we have chemistry etc...then those two things really impressive me:D If he JUST has those two things then, no - they're of no value. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Ladies: truly how does a man's wealth and social staus impress you as far as dating him? I dated plenty of poor artists and students in my day and had no problem with that, but a guy did get a plus if he was more self-sustaining, not always struggling to keep his head above water. My ideal was always a man who had some life-goals and ambition and could take care of himself and was stable, i.e. did not live in his mom's garage, did not have a gambling problem, would be able to buy a house and go on some trips if not at the moment then in the foreseeable future. I went to school with some people born into wealth and privilege, and the sense of entitlement common to growing up in these circumstances was an enormous turnoff. I also dated a few self-made 'big men', sharks and workaholics, and this was a problem for me too...I liked a man who would be coming home in the evenings and did not have that sharply developed of a competitive, aggressive mentality. My own husband earns a solid living in a thinking profession he is good at and finds personally rewarding and challenging, and that's all I could have ever wanted. As far as social status goes, I'm not even sure exactly what you're asking... perhaps I missed it, I haven't read the whole thread yet. Does this kind of thing really matter once we're all graduated from high school? Sure, I had a few schoolgirl fantasies about the lead singer or whatever, but once I got into serious dating I was all grown up. Are you asking if some jobs are sexier than others? Or if some haughty moneyed family name carries some cachet? Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Haha....that's pretty funny about romance novels being porn for women! No wonder I can't stand romance novels, since I can't take porn seriously, either. As for the opening post and its contents, I've always looked for men who were within a reasonably comfortable income bracket, who're fiscally responsible, since there's no way in the world, I would ever support a man or downgrade my lifestyle for a partner. As for social status, it's reliant on what you mean by that. If you're referring to career, as long as he's intense about his career, showing drive and being good at it, bringing in enough income to fall into the above income bracket, it's all good. Link to post Share on other sites
Clep Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 A man's wealth means nothing to me nor does his social status. I like people for who they are, not what they have. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 A man's wealth means nothing to me nor does his social status. I like people for who they are, not what they have. I really admire that. But at the same time have to admit that I would not be attracted to someone who had no means of supporting himself or getting regular dental care. Link to post Share on other sites
DiscoChick Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 I really admire that. But at the same time have to admit that I would not be attracted to someone who had no means of supporting himself or getting regular dental care. He just has to have nice teeth. I just can't see myself dating him any other way. Link to post Share on other sites
Pizzaman81 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 I think it's more of an issue with Asian cultures? The whole social and wealth thing. At least for men. I was "lucky" enough to be born under a business driven family background and ties to the higher government officials of Russia... ya you heard me.. Russia hahah. I have a stable high paying career. I put "lucky" because I feel cursed, my family expect a lot from me. I have to find a girl of equal or 1 level down status. Good times... I don't want to be high class. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 It was never my goal to be "high class" ...and I'm not. But I guess its all kind of relative depending on your expectations in a partner as far as education, upbringing , family values, etc. Its very common and traditional for people looking for a partner to have a family with to be able to offer them more than their own parents could. Again, "more" being a relative thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Clep Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 (edited) I really admire that. But at the same time have to admit that I would not be attracted to someone who had no means of supporting himself or getting regular dental care. To me that question meant if a guy was wealthy or he has lots of social status if that would sway me against a man that had neither. Maybe I should have been more informative. I would require someone who can support himself. He needs to have the basics in life. I am currently with a guy that has money and lots of social status. I am not too sure about the mask he wears with others, and with the one he wears with me at times as well. Maybe it has nothing to do with it, but there are lots of things I liked better about my other two long term relationships and some things I liked less. The only things I like less about this one seem to revolve around his money and social status. Edited January 27, 2010 by Clep Link to post Share on other sites
meerkat stew Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 OP asking this question on this board is equivalent to a missionary asking recently converted cannibals if they enjoy eating human flesh. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 I question what social status means to everyone. Another interpretation of social status might be equivalent families. With this in mind, I would say yes, this sincerely helps. For example, I was raised in a family where there was love, trust and respect. My H. was also raised this way. Neither one of us wanted for anything. With this in mind, our triggers and values are similar. His intuitive actions make me happy. My intuitive actions make him happy. We speak the same language of love, hence our marriage isn't an uphill project, fraught full of drama and angst. Link to post Share on other sites
DiscoChick Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 OP asking this question on this board is equivalent to a missionary asking recently converted cannibals if they enjoy eating human flesh. It's not that bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skydiveaddict Posted January 27, 2010 Author Share Posted January 27, 2010 OP asking this question on this board is equivalent to a missionary asking recently converted cannibals if they enjoy eating human flesh. LOL I suppose you're right Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Money and social status...Well, since I can support myself very well, I expect the man I will be with to do the same for himself. Would that be impressive? No, but how he got where he is financially, might be. I am not sure what you mean by social status. I am not impressed by politicos or the like, although at one point in my childhood, I was convinced I was going to be the next commoner empress of Japan ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author skydiveaddict Posted January 28, 2010 Author Share Posted January 28, 2010 although at one point in my childhood, I was convinced I was going to be the next commoner empress of Japan ! I still believe you will be Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 I still believe you will be hehe....go ahead, feed my delusions... Link to post Share on other sites
gypsy_nicky Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Financially successful men just seem, in my experience, happier in general, more self confident, and ready to take on relationships. here you go itzo. That's why status matters. Its the perception of competence and power that comes along with it that women find irresistible. You will also notice that high status women rarely date or marry down. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsy_nicky Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Money and social status...Well, since I can support myself very well, I expect the man I will be with to do the same for himself. Would that be impressive? No, but how he got where he is financially, might be. I am not sure what you mean by social status. I am not impressed by politicos or the like, although at one point in my childhood, I was convinced I was going to be the next commoner empress of Japan ! Narcissist! Link to post Share on other sites
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