hoping2heal Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I know it SOUNDS really alike...but that can't really be him. I mean why would she go and make a forum in the same place as him? Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I know it SOUNDS really alike...but that can't really be him. I mean why would she go and make a forum in the same place as him? they may have coincidentally stumbled upon the same site in the search for answers. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 they may have coincidentally stumbled upon the same site in the search for answers. Yeah I suppose stranger things have happened. This girl sounds young though not like she even has a job. The details are eerily similiar though. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I think this means I've been reading LS too much. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Yeah I suppose stranger things have happened. This girl sounds young though not like she even has a job. The details are eerily similiar though. If tabitha1985 was born in 1985, that makes her 25. Mark, in his thread, says she is in the pharma industry and travels. If you've ever seen pharmaceutical sales reps, many are quite young and pretty. The stories sound way too similar to be coincidence, although of course, coincidence is possible. Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 He said "Btw..the ex is a deadbeat..no job, drug problem, etc." Did she mention anything about the ex? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 He said "Btw..the ex is a deadbeat..no job, drug problem, etc." Did she mention anything about the ex? This was all I could find. He was begging me to take him back (he used to be an alcohilic and cheated on me all the time) and he was trying to convience me that he's changed..that he would treat the child as his own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tabitha1985 Posted February 2, 2010 Author Share Posted February 2, 2010 Well considering I'm not in North Dallas and based on the other responses that person has it's certainly not my ex. Although I may PM this person to see how he's handling it. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Are you going to a new counselor now? Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 It appears that you're upset about what he does in strip clubs and not forgiving you immediately, when you should be patient. So if he were to forgive you and get back with you in a faster pace, what would be the difference? Would you be pressuring him to give you more affection still? Would you be wondering off if he has to work more? These are some question I'm sure he must be wondering as well too. I get the feeling that is mainly your attitude, that ''I want reconciliation and no questions asked about my cheating'' that drove him away. Does anyone get the feelings maybe if the OP would have stop nagging him for affection, not refuse to give all her logins and passwords, and take responsibilities then he might have been willing to try to make it work out? You calling him doesn't make things better for him anyways because there was nothing new said. If he insist on living him alone, how hard is that? You have to give him the space he needs and stop insisting. As for now, it's good you're still going to a counselor, don't stop.... Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Well considering I'm not in North Dallas and based on the other responses that person has it's certainly not my ex. Although I may PM this person to see how he's handling it. Oh okay. The story sounds very similar to yours though. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Yes I think it has a lot to do with her attitude maybe because she didn't actually do the nasty with the OM she doesn't feel as though she really cheated. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Yes I think it has a lot to do with her attitude maybe because she didn't actually do the nasty with the OM she doesn't feel as though she really cheated. This is true for some people. I seen stupid posts on another different site asking if oral sex was really cheating. There are some people that think it's only cheating if one has sex but other than that is not. I don't know where they get that mentality. The ending results is that those people who only see sex as cheating, don't end up feeling too guilty. I think they took advantage of the whole ''Bill Clinton'' thing. According to him, he didn't committed adultery because he didn't have intercourse but did only the other things. Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 This is true for some people. I seen stupid posts on another different site asking if oral sex was really cheating. There are some people that think it's only cheating if one has sex but other than that is not. I don't know where they get that mentality. The ending results is that those people who only see sex as cheating, don't end up feeling too guilty. I think they took advantage of the whole ''Bill Clinton'' thing. According to him, he didn't committed adultery because he didn't have intercourse but did only the other things. Good God. That's so stupid. Even kissing is cheating ffs. And as far as oral sex is concerned, it's more intimate than intercourse imo. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I don't feel the counselor did a good job with this problem...she told me to be more gentle, listen, not interrupt and he basically coudl say or cut me off as much as he wanted. She didn't try to form a workable solution...she just wanted him to talk and the few times he talked he got more and more pissed. I'm getting a new counselor. The problem isn't the counselor. No counselor is going to undo what you did and make him love you if he lost it because you are a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 My ex and I talked on the phone Sunday, I didn't bring up the question of abortion but I suppose it's an option out there. I may never bring it up to him and I don't want him to feel the guilt and he clearly holds a lot of hostility towards me. If anything, I'll make my decision and depending on what it is tell him I lost the baby. so basically, you just want to continue to lie. you have the guts to kill a child, have the friggin' guts to tell the truth about what you did. Giving him full custody isn't an option. why not? you'd rather kill the kid? then let him have custody?? How despicable!! Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I can't believe that all you seem to care about is your needs and wants. I can. Does this attitude really surprise you coming from cheaters? Link to post Share on other sites
Miad's Princess Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 I am sorry OP but your story is just exactly like marks. You should look more at the details. Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1962 Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I know I betrayed his trust and loyalty but why put these kinds of stipulations on things...it doesn't help mend trust. I want intimacy with him, I miss it and crave it. I know that he will get it elsewhere..it's been a month and I'm not getting any skinnier. What man rejects advances especially from his fiance. Why does he go to the counselor to just call me names and then barely say a word...it makes no sense but the counselor encourages him to come back...she calls him saying he needs to keep going even. His wounds are fresh. He won't be intimate with you because you screwed another man. You betrayed him. He's going to counseling because he is sorting things out. Don't go crying about how much you love your fiance and want him. You should have thought about this before you slept around on the man that you supposedly love. I would call you more than disgusting. I would never trust you again and kick you to the curb pregnant or not. I would also demand a paternity test if I were him. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 She said that they didn't but did outercourse (fooling around and the other sexual acts). Many people don't count the other sexual acts (oral sex, anal, petting) as sex ever since former President Clinton. However, I can imagine for the one being cheated... it makes no difference because it's still cheating. Yes I think it has a lot to do with her attitude maybe because she didn't actually do the nasty with the OM she doesn't feel as though she really cheated. All this calling it a "mistake" and considering what she did or didn't do physically, whether she crossed the threshold of "cheating" - that's certainly all painful enough, but it's punctuated once and for all with this: I wish this was you and I having this baby but its not... Translation: I would rather be with you than with my fiancee. That's not some little slip, a one-time mistake, a moment of poor judgment, it's a statement of philosophy. I would rather have something else than a marriage to my fiancee, my child's father. For me, it would have been over when I heard that. His tone was ok until I apologized again for what happened and then he got upset. He claims the back rubbing, stomach rubbing and hair holding were far more intimate than how I presented them and he got upset. You see, it's only partly about "what happened." If you think it's all about "what happened" then you're missing the point. You communicated, and demonstrated - with words and actions - that you didn't value your relationship. From that point on, it was broken for your fiancee. I have to quote: You actually told him that you told your ex that you love him and wished it was his baby? And you wonder why he wants to write a letter stating the wedding is off. Good for him. This whole thread has been about you and your desire to be forgiven. Nothing about the gut wrenching pain your exfiance is going through. Especially finding out you didn't want this to be his baby. What the hell do you want him to say to the counselor? You pretty much said it all. He would be a fool to marry someone who was wishing he was someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
health Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Hi, I'm new here but wanted to get some advice. I've cheated on my fiance of 1 year and truly regret it. I tell him all the time I'm so sorry for all the lies and that what I did was wrong. We currently live together, and surprisignly he has not asked me to move out. I'm also 2 months pregnant so that may be why he hasn't I suppose. Yes it's his kid. I cheated on him 3 weeks ago. He knows that, and I didn't have sex with the other guy but i did do other stuff. We've been going to a therapist to discuss our communication issues and the infedility. He barely says a word, all that he has said was that I poisioned the relationship and that I'm disgusting. He won't even sit on the same couch as me in the counselors office. The counselor asked him if he was done with this relationship and all he said is..."I'm not a fortune teller....I don't know". I can't believe he called me that in front of the counselor. He doesn't cry, he just seems very rigid and angry. Seldom smiles, seldom wants to talk to me. I took him out to eat, we barely said a few words. Everytime he does try to talk all he does is asks why and for me to repeat everything that occured that night I cheated. It's all he ever talks about...I want to move forward...not focus on the past. All he wants to do is talk about the past. My fiancee and I have not been intimate for almost a month, he won't kiss me or anything else. At best, he will kiss me on the cheek or hug me but that's about it. Sometimes he sleeps in the same bed with me but doesn't touch me (its like two strangers in the same bed). Sometimes he sleeps in the guest room. Why won't he hold me, touch me or make love to me? Why does he go to the counselor to barely say a word. Does he not care? Does he not want to make it work? Is he already checked out? He doesn't go out with his friends, he just sits around the house...staring at the TV or going to work. I don't think he is really even eating much to be honest. A few night ago I stayed at my parents and came back to the house and he just hugged me...figured he would have missed me and showed me with a kiss at least. But no. Last night I tried the counselors advice that she told me in private to wear something alluring, have candles lit, a warm bath ready and try to gauge his response. He walked in and instead of following the rose petals into the master bathroom he went to the guest bathroom and went to sleep. I know he saw the petals. He is completely unresponsive to me...the only thing he has been focused on is readying the other room to be a nursery. WHAT DO I DO???? I'm pregnant, I'm getting bigger and I don't feel that he is attracted to me anymore. My hormones are raging and I want him to show me he loves me...is that too much to ask? Can you still get an abortion? I feel so bad for your Man. Why get pregnant if your gonna do this? Why not be single and play around? Sorry for being harsh. I suggest you abort if possible. Or separate. Jesus, thank God I'm single with no kids or married!!! I left a girl like you. I've never cheated on anyone in my life. I've dated a few beautiful girls and plan on buying a condo soon. Life is good! Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 What's wrong with having an abortion? That's the same thing I would have done if I were in the OP's shoes. Afterwards, I would have no contact with the ex fiance, simply be gone from his life forever. She made a terrible choice but what's the use of bringing a child into a dead relationship? That child will suffer more so aborting it would be the option in that case. Deciding what to do with our body is not murder. Talk about extreme anti-abortionists. I'm pro-choice within reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Abortion is just a politically correct way of saying killing, murder, etc... Link to post Share on other sites
Trojan John Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Abortion is just a politically correct way of saying killing, murder, etc... On what planet? Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Abortion is just a politically correct way of saying killing, murder, etc... You're just forcing your morals and beliefs on others. Link to post Share on other sites
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