ginyi1111 Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 True. My ex prior to this left me alone for a year. I didnt really know of the term NC then, but basically he fell off the planet. No calls, texts, emails, social networks, IM..NADA! I felt at the time that he was cruel and I wrote him an email saying all my feelings that he never responded to. Of course it hurt and I wondered about him....but honestly I got over it and met my current headache (ex) . Looking back I can see how that NC on his part helped me. A year later he did email me on my birthday and explained why he did what he did, he said he felt it was better if he fell off the face of the earth, and now, I can totally agree and THANK him! I considered him evil, selfish etc at the time, but now going through what I went/am going through with this current ex who would text, call, break up with his rebound and come back seeming to want to change then find another rebound and is probably still gonna resurface again ---I can see the kindness in leaving that person aloooone! So I respect my previous ex for being mature and responsible in that regard to make a decision that he said hurt him and me but in the longterm was better off. I am not bffs with him, I think he still has feelings for me but it can't work for many reasons so we just text on like xmas, new years and other holidays BUT I could see myself actually being friends with him. I have no resentment and am healed from that. I think this only helps when the dumper was honest with you about the reasons for breaking up but if they gave you a lame ass excuse for breaking up with you obviously you deserve the explanation or at least the courtesy of replying to you when you contact them post breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
prayingshecomesback Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 i probably just need a good cry... i'm so fake right now. on the outside, i know i'm attractive, fit, confident, sexy, intelligent, and all those lovely adjectives i don't wish to utter... inside, i'm dead... void... emotionless... hurt... scared... crying banana... We know how you feel. Just when we feel we are over it, we post how awesome our life is on LS to make us feel like we are over it. Like we have finally moved on. But then you get that missing, empty feeling that comes back and you are put back in remission....and you feel hopeless. BUT..... your ex is probably going through a little of the same. They put on this show with their friends, family and their new lover they left you for saying their life is so much better... when in reality it is not. they are just as fake and insecure. Hang in there man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 29, 2010 Author Share Posted January 29, 2010 every moment I seem to grow weaker... I have friends trying to set me up... ..take me out... ...supporting me. I don't know why, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. Deep down, I feel like I'm not there... Link to post Share on other sites
McGrupp Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 dont force it. go out, but dont date man. dont do it till it feels kinda "ok" Link to post Share on other sites
prayingshecomesback Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 every moment I seem to grow weaker... I have friends trying to set me up... ..take me out... ...supporting me. I don't know why, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. Deep down, I feel like I'm not there... Ok... Got a real quick remedy for you. Whenever you feel like this, I want you to google image search BRIANNA UCLA Cheerleader or USC Cheerleaders, OR College cheerleaders and I want you to really look at how beautiful these girls are. It will take your ex off the pedestal real quick and you will feel like she isnt jack chit. It will work. Guaranteed. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted January 29, 2010 Author Share Posted January 29, 2010 I think I'm going to stay in and sleep... Everything tells me to carry on, but I feel like I'm all alone. She doesn't hurt.. she doesn't care. And I am left to wallow in my own pity. I try to go on like I never knew her, but I can't... these lacerations in my heart as so deep... why did I fall for this one thanks guys... i appreciate you being at the other end of the computer screen. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 I think I'm going to stay in and sleep... Everything tells me to carry on, but I feel like I'm all alone. She doesn't hurt.. she doesn't care. And I am left to wallow in my own pity. I try to go on like I never knew her, but I can't... these lacerations in my heart as so deep... why did I fall for this one thanks guys... i appreciate you being at the other end of the computer screen. I'll think of you while I'm out w/ friends tonight. Baby steps. Baby steps. Link to post Share on other sites
McGrupp Posted January 30, 2010 Share Posted January 30, 2010 hey man if you want to "cheer" up you should read some of my old, old threads in october-november. i was pretty much suicidal. and i really was. im talking 4 year relationship, beautiful, smart and i pretty much dumped myself. my best friend all that ****. yet im feeling good now. well better. if you dont think you will get there, you will. im telling you. jst one day at a time. but look at those old threads and see where i am, or any other of you LS'rs that are thrwoing down knowledge. we all are here pretty much for the same reason. the same people giving you advice were once you. and its just time man. just time. Link to post Share on other sites
Beeotch Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 I think this only helps when the dumper was honest with you about the reasons for breaking up but if they gave you a lame ass excuse for breaking up with you obviously you deserve the explanation or at least the courtesy of replying to you when you contact them post breakup. He didnt give a reason actually....well I told him we should be friends, but then we fell back into the relationship pattern then slowly I started calling and he wouldnt answer or would but talk for like 3 minutes then say he wold call back but wouldn't, then days would pass, weeks, months, then he would resurface until he totally disappeared for a year. The story is deeper than that but trust me, it wasnt like we agreed to stop being friends/talking then he did NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 The fact that she dumped me over facebook mid november... said some really hurtful things to push me out the day of... blocked me, my best friend, defacebooked all my friends... (then unblocked just me... but I blocked her on FB) ...and I haven't heard from her since. I didn't hear from her on New Years Eve either... ...she is goooooooooone... goooooooooone... goooooooooone. Interesting. It's kind of annoying knowing she's out there ****ing some other guy (her recent ex + probably her best guy friend) but.. I can't & shouldn't care. From waht ive read from your threads. When it comes to relationships You have been dumped and you have dumped. So think back to the girls you dumped are u thinking of them? Probably not. Neither is she. You need to move on and accept it wasnt right to begin with, and whoever she wants to be with now is her business. If she wanted a clean break from you that is the best thing she could have done rather than not block you and have u be able to see what shes up to all the time. When the shoe is on the other foot it feels crappy, but youll get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 From waht ive read from your threads. When it comes to relationships You have been dumped and you have dumped. So think back to the girls you dumped are u thinking of them? Probably not. Neither is she. You need to move on and accept it wasnt right to begin with, and whoever she wants to be with now is her business. If she wanted a clean break from you that is the best thing she could have done rather than not block you and have u be able to see what shes up to all the time. When the shoe is on the other foot it feels crappy, but youll get over it. Actually yes, I was thinking of them... and actually yes... I did go back to them. Now we're friends. thanks SS. fail @ you. Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Actually yes, I was thinking of them... and actually yes... I did go back to them. Now we're friends. thanks SS. fail @ you. Well maybe she just doesnt like you. Simple. She doesnt like you so much in fact that she doesnt even want to be your friend, hence, the not contacting you. Truth hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
xbluudevilx Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 hmm.. the ex emailed me on saturday, asking me for my number.. it took her 10 tries for me to give in. sunday, "it" asked if i removed or covered 2 tattoos of her name (left wrist, neck). that one, i didnt answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Hey i was just taking a stab at it. IF ur confident she is not coming back why do u care? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Well maybe she just doesnt like you. Simple. She doesnt like you so much in fact that she doesnt even want to be your friend, hence, the not contacting you. Truth hurts. Good for her. Then she really is a shallow, heartless, cold, cruel, rebounding slut. Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 You obviously still have feelings for her or you wouldnt be resorting to name calling to help ease your hurt. I understand being hurt. I do. She probably just moved on and got over the relationship before you did, and it hurts beiing blindsighted like that, but its life. You need to realize that not everything your feeling and going through is mutual. She is human, and she decided she wanted something else. SO what? Your better off then, why would u want to hang out/be in love with who doesnt realize your good qualities? Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Sometimes we get into relationships with people trying to see how it "fits"..trying to make it work. And we realize along the way that it isnt really what we want, and maybe someone else in our life has opened up a new door. The problem is getting involved when ur not ready. She might have done this i dont know. But if ur not going for what u want, your just biding time until someone else comes around. Thats how i see it. It doesnt make her shallow, or a slut, or cruel. Its just human nature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 Sometimes we get into relationships with people trying to see how it "fits"..trying to make it work. And we realize along the way that it isnt really what we want, and maybe someone else in our life has opened up a new door. The problem is getting involved when ur not ready. She might have done this i dont know. But if ur not going for what u want, your just biding time until someone else comes around. Thats how i see it. It doesnt make her shallow, or a slut, or cruel. Its just human nature. Great. Thanks. congratulations. You're the all knowing. Please don't comment without knowing the backstory. Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 heres an idea for you. Maybe dont post a public thread only wanting to hear things like "shes a bitch man" and "wahhh, so sorry for your incredible loss" Grow up....no wonder she left you. Link to post Share on other sites
Silver_star Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 and its ironic that this thread is posted in the "second chances" category seeing as though shes NOT giving you one. This thread is redundant. Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Ive seen this fight before... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 Silver_Star... I'm sorry. Although I do not WANT to agree with you, you bring a valid argument on my situation. I'm just irrational and pissed off at my situation and breakup. I didn't deserve the mental abuse, manipulation, etc, etc... but it's my own fault for being blind to red flags I recognized. In a way, I put myself in this situation... ...but NO ONE deserves what I went through DURING my relationship (her rebound). sucks for me. FML. Life just gets better from here (I hope) Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Life just gets better from here (I hope) You know it will. Link to post Share on other sites
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