Husband joined a adult friend finder site? WTF?

[BlueeyedJonesy]

BES, I'm sorry that I'm drilling this in your head but I was in your shoes recently and there was no way in hell I would ever suspect my H of this sorta thing.. HE WOULDN'T MAKE A PROFILE UNLESS HE WANTED CONTACT. Did you read what he had on his profile?

[Angel1111]

I know from the outside it looks dodgy. But to be honest, I was so shocked when I saw the initial email because it was so completely out of character for him. The long-distance thing should not be an issue for us - we have had long separations before (he was in Iraq for six months) and there has been no hint of unfaithfulness or playing around. He is the kind of person people would refer to as a "good guy."

 

This is exactly how people would describe my xMM. He is such a family man, so dedicated, has a spotless reputation - no one would ever guess the he would cheat because he's such a good guy. But, this 'good guy' chased me with a vengence and seduced me so masterfully that it would've shocked everyone who knew him.

 

Maybe your husband is planning to cheat, maybe he's not, but do not ever make the mistake of thinking that someone isn't capable of it, or that it's totally out of character for them. If it were so out of character for him, why is he on that site to begin with?

Edited February 2, 2010 by Angel1111

[Black Eyed Susan]

I went back and looked at the screenshot of the link on Facebook that he clicked on to get to this site.

 

It was in a friend's profile or status update. It said something along the lines of Click here to see my pictures. I'm guessing that he clicked the link, and then found that he couldn't access the pics without creating a profile/ account. So he did - and that's when they sent him the "Welcome" message that I found in his email. But, like I said, he had not opened the email or activated the account by replying to the email.

 

I really do believe I may have pressed the panic button a little early on this one. Even if he wanted to cheat (which I don't think he does), he has too much to lose. I am close to his family and they would be horrified if he ever did anything like that to me.

 

What my husband IS guilty of is lacking discernment where his Facebook friends are concerned! Who posts links on FB to risque pics of themselves on a tawdry sex site!?! And invites all their friends to look at them!

 

Sincere thanks to eveyone for their input on this.

 

BES

[Tiny220]

Whoa,, so you are trying to say your husband clicked a link to see sexual pics of a male friend?

 

That's a little strange, but oh well,, I guess thats something a guy who spends a bunch of time away from his wife, with a bunch of guys who cheat on their wife would do. Glad to hear things are going well.

 

T

[Joe Normal]

You shouldn't let this drop. Trust but verify.

 

Personally in your shoes I'd stick a PI and computer expert on his ass - that way you will find out one way or the other. If nothing comes up in the next 3 months, you can trust him. If something comes up, then at least you know.

[Barky]

Never underestimate people's ability to lie to themselves.

[oxfordsocks]

i met and talked to guys on that site for many a day over a year ago. There was only a handful of men that ever asked to get together with me.

I went through a phase sexually where i wasn't getting what i wanted at home--and lookiing at a lot of porn gave me viruses--and frankly it was swayed always to the mans side.

and most was not real

I liked to see real stuff and MEN stff only. so i signed up and actually found looking and chat stimulating.

i had a few guys that i woud talk to that didn't have cams--just email and we would send notes back and forth -also the chat rooms were a riot--not always sexy or dirty.

this site gave no viruses and lots of guys only wanted to see a few boobs and chat. harmless stuff alot of the time.make your own account if you have a computer or laptop and if you know his profile name or can guess it than try and find him online one time to see what he is into . He may just be embarrased or shy to let you know what he is interested in--or maybe you have refused something your just not into so he is going to get it from that site.

yes there are some awful people out there--anywhere-heck he could meet someone anywhere where he is--online may be safer.

i did end of meeting someonne that i had no intention of starting a relationship with though in the end so i guess you can say it can start the wrong thing if you let it.

I was on it when it was free(AFF) and now i think you have to pay for it-i think

no way would i have every paid!!! I hope for you its not anything bad.