Soul Bear Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 T- 6 days........ It will be the first time we have ever met, but you guys know the score- webcams phones calls etc etc.... I'm so nervous...we have been 'together' for 5 months now and I'm nervous as hell. And excited. But, there is a problem, I'm starting to feel insecure in general these last 3 weeks..And it is causing arguments..... I know it stems from my past R's, and I know it is an issue that I thought I had dealt with. But Here it is again rearing it's ugly head. The only difference is that before i was insecure about cheating, as every R i have had i have been cheated on walked over. It's all I know!!! This time im insecure that she is just not that into me, which is not true! Why am I like this? I end up being a dick because of it.....and then we fall out. Not attractive at all. I am brimming with confidence in life and other areas, but why am i so insecure? Why do I end up being a dick about it? What makes me feel this way is phone calls and IM's died down the last few weeks, and at times my insecurity assures me that im not getting back what i put in- Also not true. She really cares about me, and I know this, and I truly care about her too, deeply. LDR's are tough, beautiful, sad,happy...a whole mix of emotions. It's almost as if Love can hurt when things are great.... Lastnight was messy,, we have not talked on the phone for 2 days, but have had IM convo's and emails. I wrote a long winded email telling her the issues I have with her, and she replied with- maybe we would just be better as friends. I know that she knows there is more to us than that, and I knowit too.... There is no going back in time. I just need a kick up the arse and I want to stop being insecure and being a jerk.... I lost my track of thought. But i think you get the basic idea:o Link to post Share on other sites
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