Believing in yourself 100% again?

[Meaplus3]

You know I'd really like some constructive advice here. After all I have been through with physical pain.. and odd health symptoms in the past year and 1/2.. that there are NO real answers to, I have a hard time trusting my body now. I'm doing my very best with therapy.. trying to remain positive, but it always seems like in the back of my mind there is that burning question "What if". That darn "what if" that keeps anexity in my life. So, to anyone who may have mastered this.. tips, ticks.. anything of help would be appreciated. I know I'm strong.. and can get passsed most things, however this is has presented a pretty big challenge for me. Thanks.

 

Mea:)

[Ronni_W]

Mea,

It's a tricky thing when dealing with health issues that refuse to help the doctors make accurate diagnoses. Sorry you're having to deal with that!

 

Are you into 'power of the mind'-type stuff? What I'm getting is that, right now, your mind has made it a habit of being in the mode of, "What if <a negative thing>?" If you do think there's anything to positive affirmations and the like, you could use those as tools to retrain your brain to hold more thoughts of, "What if <a positive thing>?"

 

This page lists a bunch of articles along these lines: richbits.com/RBArchives/backissuesRBNEW.htm

There are so many authors. Louise Hay, Josephy Murphy and Norman Vincent Peale come to mind.

This is an informative, fairly compact intro to the 12 Universal Laws (in pdf format),

if you're at all interested in looking at things from that angle: spiritlibrary.com/files/gifts/pdf/12%20Universal%20Laws.pdf

 

Best of luck, Mea. I get that it's frustrating, and can induce feelings of powerlessness. But. You're not that. You are powerful...and hopefully you'll find the right tools to help you prove that to your Self (and your body.)

[Meaplus3]

Ronni, I've gotta tell you I love your posts. They are always so imformative and helpful. Thank you for the info you have provided me.I'll look it all up.

 

Mea:)

[Ronni_W]

Thanks for your kind words, Mea.

I musta especially needed it right then...cos it brought tears to my eyes.

You are much appreciated.

 

---

EDIT to add: Don't know why I didn't think to add this link in the first place. It's one of those tools that may sound a bit "odd" at first, but it gets a bit clearer as to how it can assist if you read through the "instructions" a few times: focusing.org/sixsteps.html

There's also Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), which can be self-taught and self-administered. The free manual is huge, but you'll only need the first 30 or so pages to learn the basics. emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp

Edited January 31, 2010 by Ronni_W

[Meaplus3]

Thanks for your kind words, Mea.

I musta especially needed it right then...cos it brought tears to my eyes.

You are much appreciated.

 

 

:love:

 

 

---

EDIT to add: Don't know why I didn't think to add this link in the first place. It's one of those tools that may sound a bit "odd" at first, but it gets a bit clearer as to how it can assist if you read through the "instructions" a few times: focusing.org/sixsteps.html

There's also Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), which can be self-taught and self-administered. The free manual is huge, but you'll only need the first 30 or so pages to learn the basics. emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp

 

 

 

I don't mind if it sounds odd... Any good material I can get my hands on is positive IMO. I did read a VERY good book that was some what helpful it's called "Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting" By Lynn Grabhorn. It was a suggestion from a bio-feedback lady I was seeing for a bit. I'm now reading "Conquering fear..Living Boldly in an Uncertain world" By Harold S. Kushner. Thanks so much.

 

Mea:)

[Ronni_W]

It was a suggestion from a bio-feedback lady I was seeing for a bit. I'm now reading "Conquering fear..Living Boldly in an Uncertain world" By Harold S. Kushner.

That's too synchronistic: I recently read Kushner's book on forgiveness, 'How Good Do We Have To Be?' ... and the odd tool (focusing) is said to be "bio-feedback without the instruments."

 

I'm going to see if I can get my hands on the Grabhorn book - thanks for that one.

[TouchedByViolet]

"What if?" is one of the most basic manifestations of fear. It can apply to nearly any part of life (relationships, careers, spirituality)

 

You may try putting your "what if" feelings into 2 categories. One is those which you actually have/or should have control over i.e. your body, your decisions in relationships, and anything that up to you to make the ultimate decision. The second being the parts of life where there is always uncertainty. Try focusing on the smaller "what if's" in the first category, that you should have complete control over, and move on to bigger ones over time. The "what ifs" in the second category take time and a inner acceptance to live with. This system works for me on some of my own "what ifs" maybe it will be help to you

[Hop_prophet]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My brother had some very bizarre health issues and it took him a long time to recover. The doctors really couldn't diagnose it and it was chalked up to firbromyalgia. The good news is that he is doing much better now.

 

My take is that the "what if" questions are actually a good thing. They will stir you to action and motivate you to get this checked out as thoroughly as possible. The bottom line is that you seem to know that something is wrong. Ignoring your body and pretending everything is ok can be dangerous. I know it can be exhausting but stay strong. It is perfectly normal to feel anxious about this. I know I would be a wreak, but it sounds like you are dealing with it really well.

[JamesM]

After all I have been through with physical pain.. and odd health symptoms in the past year and 1/2.. that there are NO real answers to, I have a hard time trusting my body now.

 

Did they all start after your separation?

[Meaplus3]

"What if?" is one of the most basic manifestations of fear. It can apply to nearly any part of life (relationships, careers, spirituality)

 

Yes. 100% true and that is exactly my problem. A good example of a "What if " happend to me today while out shopping. My brain got overwhelmed with things I had to get. I started to get dizzy then the big "What if I faint"? Oh it was a STRONG what if that caught my attention and almost made me flee the store. So, what did I do? I thought well "What if I don't"? Followed by I'm probably ok.. and moved along with my business. By the time I hit the parking lot, I was still alive and had not hit the floor. I focused on a positive and in this case it worked. But by god I wish I did not have to think about this so much... I want to be 100% free from fear.

 

Mea:)

[Meaplus3]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My brother had some very bizarre health issues and it took him a long time to recover. The doctors really couldn't diagnose it and it was chalked up to firbromyalgia. The good news is that he is doing much better now.

 

My take is that the "what if" questions are actually a good thing. They will stir you to action and motivate you to get this checked out as thoroughly as possible. The bottom line is that you seem to know that something is wrong. Ignoring your body and pretending everything is ok can be dangerous. I know it can be exhausting but stay strong. It is perfectly normal to feel anxious about this. I know I would be a wreak, but it sounds like you are dealing with it really well.

 

It's very exhausting.. and I've just about had enough of it. I've been checked over from head to toe and nothing is found. Guess that's is a good thing. I just wish I new what was causing these odd symptoms. And not every ache and pain I get do I worry over becuase I know many of those are normal body sensations. The fear this all creates is intense.. keeping the ever so popular "What if" alive.

 

Did they all start after your separation?

 

No. After I dropped the drinks. I'm not kidding. No wonder I drank.

 

Mea:)

[whichwayisup]

I get what you're saying, though I haven't been through as much as you have!

 

Stay away from GOOGLE and try to talk yourself out of the 'what ifs..' Keep a journal going with symptoms and see if maybe there's a pattern that develops. It could be something so simple as diet or not enough sleep. I know with me, I get weird headaches (like right now!) and I thought there were the end of the P.. Realized earlier this evening it's the (yuk) beginning of my seasonal blues, SAD. It hits me like clock work, beginning of February.

 

Most of all, if you are having doubts or not sure of symptoms, don't hesitate to call or go to the Dr.

[Meaplus3]

I get what you're saying, though I haven't been through as much as you have!

 

Stay away from GOOGLE and try to talk yourself out of the 'what ifs..' Keep a journal going with symptoms and see if maybe there's a pattern that develops. It could be something so simple as diet or not enough sleep. I know with me, I get weird headaches (like right now!) and I thought there were the end of the P.. Realized earlier this evening it's the (yuk) beginning of my seasonal blues, SAD. It hits me like clock work, beginning of February.

 

Most of all, if you are having doubts or not sure of symptoms, don't hesitate to call or go to the Dr.

 

Yes. Google is NOT a good friend for the health anxious person. I'd like to fire the creators of WEB MD.. LOL. That is what I'm doing. Talking my way out of the "What ifs". And I do see a pattern. This all goes haywire for the most part around my cycle.. so I know some of it if driven by the hormone shifts I'm going through. That I can live with.. even though it drives me nuts. I think for me it's going to boil down to keeping things in perspective like for example "Mea.. you have had evey test known to man and your doc said your in GREAT health". I need to except that and be happy about it.. and try to leave it at that. Of course if I have a new symptom that is REAL odd for me, then it's time to have that checked. I'm pleased to say I have not seen a primary since NOV.. that's big time for me.:) Thanks for understanding me WWIU.

 

Mea:)

[JamesM]

Some ideas.....

 

1. Make friends with a non-paranoid nurse or doctor. Not only will you save money but this person could put your mind at ease. (However if you marry one, then they usually become paranoid about your health...purpose defeated. )

 

2. Assume that what you have is the simplest and less "deadly" first. You will be right almost every time. The only thing that you should not treat this way is your heart...until you have had everything checked out...as you have. Once you have followed the rest of the points here, then it will be less likely that the symptom you have is of any concern.

 

3. Work at reducing every "number" that you can. And, increase the numbers that should be increased...ie HDL. Having good blood pressure, cholesterol and weight goes along way to keeping you healthy and "free" from disease.

 

4. Quit every deadly habit known to the human race. That would include smoking, excessive drinking, and unprotected sex. Smoking is not only a big risk factor for cancer, it is also a big risk factor for heart disease and stroke.

 

5. Eat healthy. If you want to google anything, then google the DASH diet or the Mediterranean diet. (These are not "diets" but a way of eating healthy). Discover ways to reduce the foods that are not good for you. You will be amazed at how easy it is if you change slowly and not radically. Change only a thing or two at a time. And never forget....calories in...calories out.

 

6. Exercise. Spend at least thirty minutes a day walking or doing something else that gets your heart racing. (That would not include sex... or PMing me. )

 

Doing the above things reduce your risk factors significantly. This will also help you focus on the rest of your life and forget about every ache and pain. I know...it works for me.

 

This will never take the anxiety completely away, but if you feel that you can control your health and future, then you will not feel so helpless.

 

If anyone can do it, IMO it is you.

[Meaplus3]

Some ideas.....

 

1. Make friends with a non-paranoid nurse or doctor. Not only will you save money but this person could put your mind at ease. (However if you marry one, then they usually become paranoid about your health...purpose defeated. )

 

2. Assume that what you have is the simplest and less "deadly" first. You will be right almost every time. The only thing that you should not treat this way is your heart...until you have had everything checked out...as you have. Once you have followed the rest of the points here, then it will be less likely that the symptom you have is of any concern.

 

3. Work at reducing every "number" that you can. And, increase the numbers that should be increased...ie HDL. Having good blood pressure, cholesterol and weight goes along way to keeping you healthy and "free" from disease.

 

4. Quit every deadly habit known to the human race. That would include smoking, excessive drinking, and unprotected sex. Smoking is not only a big risk factor for cancer, it is also a big risk factor for heart disease and stroke.

 

5. Eat healthy. If you want to google anything, then google the DASH diet or the Mediterranean diet. (These are not "diets" but a way of eating healthy). Discover ways to reduce the foods that are not good for you. You will be amazed at how easy it is if you change slowly and not radically. Change only a thing or two at a time. And never forget....calories in...calories out.

 

6. Exercise. Spend at least thirty minutes a day walking or doing something else that gets your heart racing. (That would not include sex... or PMing me. )

 

Doing the above things reduce your risk factors significantly. This will also help you focus on the rest of your life and forget about every ache and pain. I know...it works for me.

 

This will never take the anxiety completely away, but if you feel that you can control your health and future, then you will not feel so helpless.

 

If anyone can do it, IMO it is you.

 

Thank you. I'm doing all of this stuff. But with regards to number 6, I don't even have to excercise to get my heart to race.. it seems to do that all by it self.:laugh: You know James, I just have to focus on getting rid of the fear. It will come with time. I think I'm just getting a touch impatient.

 

Mea:)

[sally4sara]

Believing in yourself 100 percent is a bit different in terms of physical health recovery. The human body is a machine and sometimes it breaks down.

I would (and I'm sure you do because you have little choice) learn to believe in your ability to protect it and manage your recovery. Believe you can see your way back to a healthy machine.

 

In a way, you are lucky. I know it sounds dumb to say this when nothing about what you're going through can be considered luck. But, you have doctors to guide you to this end and train you to trust in the methods available to move towards personal health. It is a progress that can be measured. And seeing result can give you something to believe in.

It would be much harder IMO to have no health concerns holding one back and still struggle to believe in oneself. This site is peppered with people who are physically healthy, but emotionally run down under a poor self esteem. Progress in this area can only be measured by the individual. No doctor can run a test and find a result.

 

I wish you all the best.

[Meaplus3]

Believing in yourself 100 percent is a bit different in terms of physical health recovery. The human body is a machine and sometimes it breaks down.

I would (and I'm sure you do because you have little choice) learn to believe in your ability to protect it and manage your recovery. Believe you can see your way back to a healthy machine.

 

This makes so much sense sally. And that is my goal to see my way back to a health machine. I never use to have a worry in the world when it came to health matter. I've always been lucky and my health has been great. I think just the simple fact that a few things as of the late have gone haywire ie.. my tachy heart.. it had much more of an impact on me then I ever imagined. I mean I had 3 c-sections that is major surgey.. and I never once throughout that whole time lost any faith as to how my body would heal and recover.

 

In a way, you are lucky. I know it sounds dumb to say this when nothing about what you're going through can be considered luck. But, you have doctors to guide you to this end and train you to trust in the methods available to move towards personal health.

 

 

True. But, some docs don't listen and their first instinct is oh.. it's all anxeity. I have a hard time buying that and feel it's the doc's way of just shoving the patient aside. "Go home and pop a pill" seems to be advice given by many in the health care field.. this annoys me. Nnow on the flip side. I've been lucky to have a wonderful Cardio doc.. who has taken ever messure to check out my heart.

 

 

 

I wish you all the best.

 

 

Thank you.

 

Mea:)

[JamesM]

So if you are doing everything that you can to keep your body healthy, then relax. This of course doesn't mean you can never be sick, but it does mean you (statistically) are in a better position not to get sick than most people.

 

(Get your HDL number up....that is something that you can worry about AND do something about. )

 

 

But, some docs don't listen and their first instinct is oh.. it's all anxeity. I have a hard time buying that and feel it's the doc's way of just shoving the patient aside. "Go home and pop a pill" seems to be advice given by many in the health care field.. this annoys me.

 

If the doctor says it in a caring and non-flippant response, then it could very well be that after all of the possible tests have been ran and nothing shows to be wrong, it could be anxiety. What bothers most is when the doctor acts like you as the patient have been wasting his time.

 

If your doctor thinks you are wasting his time, then don't....get another doctor. My last doctor seemed to give me that impression. He was and is a good doctor, but I didn't feel that connection. I was not relaxed with him. The doctor I have now is perfect for me. I trust him and he listens...and he is full of good advice, to which, since I trust him, I listen.

 

Many people who go to the doctor and hospital do not actually end up with a diagnosis of a disease. Should you assume that you do not have a disease? No. As an example, most people who go in the ER for chest pains, do not have heart problems. Does this mean that you should ignore chest pains and assume that you are in the majority? NO. So it is when you have symptoms of pain....do not assume that it is stress related until you have seen from tests that it is nothing physical.

 

Yet when you know your own body, then after awhile you recognize what is connected to that stressful event and what is not.

 

Stress and anxiety have a way of mimicking physical ailments, and when we stress about the symptoms we make them worse. I have been down that road more than once.

 

So... Mea, if all has been tested and has been shown to be in good condition, then realize that those symptoms that you thought were alarming, are not. And googling the symptoms is not all bad, as long as you can trust your doctor when he or she says that you do not have a problem. However, if you keep thinking "What if" after your doctor has tested you, then perhaps it is time for a new doctor.

 

Just some rambling thoughts.

[Kasan]

How could you not believe in yourself?

 

Look how far you have come in the past couple of years!

 

It hasn't been easy for you, and even knowing this, I have seen some great growth in you.

 

You need to remember all of this when you start to have doubts or question yourself.

 

You're still standing after all, and in spite of everything.................

[Meaplus3]

So if you are doing everything that you can to keep your body healthy, then relax. This of course doesn't mean you can never be sick, but it does mean you (statistically) are in a better position not to get sick than most people.

 

(Get your HDL number up....that is something that you can worry about AND do something about. )

 

 

 

 

I agree 100%.. and this is what I must do!

 

Honestly, I think I'm a case that was missmanaged from the start.

 

It all started on that very first time in June.. when all the odd symptoms hit and I went to the ER. I was told to follow up with my primary a few days later told I had a panic attack. So, my primary got that report.. and without even the thought of any further testing.. was ready to send me out the door with an SSRI.. NUT CASE. Sorry, but to me that DOES not cut it! So, that's where it all began. Now I'm on my 3rd primary.. have not even meet the guy yet, and I'm going to make mention of two further things. The possibility of an endocrine issue.. or something to do with my spine these are two things that have been mentioned to me by a person I have much respect for. I'm going to see what he says and take it from there. As for my heart, that's looking good.. and I'll be followed along with a monitor for now to make sure things are not changing. Thank you for all your support.. and helping me to see things in a very practical way.

 

Mea

[Meaplus3]

How could you not believe in yourself?

 

Look how far you have come in the past couple of years!

 

It hasn't been easy for you, and even knowing this, I have seen some great growth in you.

 

You need to remember all of this when you start to have doubts or question yourself.

 

You're still standing after all, and in spite of everything.................

 

Your right Kasan, I do need to remember how far I have come. I am so super guilty of NOT doing that. Thanks for your kind words I appreciate it.

 

Mea:)