Disillusioned Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 I've read posts on other boards by guys who have gotten so tired of American women that they've emigrated to other countries, particularly in Southeast Asia. A few of these guys have even gone so far as to try to legally renounce their US citizenship (if you read the law, this is a catch-22). I think those guys have a very distorted perspective, and I speak as the guy who always got underwear and socks from Santa at Christmas when the other boys got go-carts and BB guns. Those guys who emigrate to find women must be either 1. looking for a totally submissive sex slave, or 2. they are too impatient to start hanging around with people they like better. Personally, I wouldn't emigrate... I'd try to meet people in my own region who share my interests.
Green Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 I've travled the world and enjoy it. My home is the United States. People in different countries have different attitudes and ways of life so if some one wants to move and raise a family and love the women of another country why not let them.
Leia Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 I've read posts on other boards by guys who have gotten so tired of American women that they've emigrated to other countries, particularly in Southeast Asia. A few of these guys have even gone so far as to try to legally renounce their US citizenship (if you read the law, this is a catch-22). I think those guys have a very distorted perspective, and I speak as the guy who always got underwear and socks from Santa at Christmas when the other boys got go-carts and BB guns. Those guys who emigrate to find women must be either 1. looking for a totally submissive sex slave, or 2. they are too impatient to start hanging around with people they like better. Personally, I wouldn't emigrate... I'd try to meet people in my own region who share my interests. You believe that all South East Asian women are submissive sex slave?
ella23 Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Moving to another country just to find women is rather strange. I don't know anyone who's done that.
sally4sara Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 You believe that all South East Asian women are submissive sex slave? This would be a leap. I figure the OP thinks the guys who have this mindset believe South East Asian women will be that way. I saw nothing that said that the OP believes that to be true.
Leia Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 This would be a leap. I figure the OP thinks the guys who have this mindset believe South East Asian women will be that way. I saw nothing that said that the OP believes that to be true. Thanks but I am asking the OP. It could be he thought that way or have heard from someone. Let's just wait for his answer. I wonder why he wrote that ~ that is all. No harm in asking.
You'reasian Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 I've read posts on other boards by guys who have gotten so tired of American women that they've emigrated to other countries, particularly in Southeast Asia. A few of these guys have even gone so far as to try to legally renounce their US citizenship (if you read the law, this is a catch-22). I think those guys have a very distorted perspective, and I speak as the guy who always got underwear and socks from Santa at Christmas when the other boys got go-carts and BB guns. Those guys who emigrate to find women must be either 1. looking for a totally submissive sex slave, or 2. they are too impatient to start hanging around with people they like better. Personally, I wouldn't emigrate... I'd try to meet people in my own region who share my interests. What are a guy's options? Guys who say they want to emigrate to find women in other countries may or may not have looked at all of their options: change of venues, change of location (locally) and changing themselves - could help them find more women locally. Changing oneself is not easy - even once someone has made effective change, they are still working with the same set of rules that govern attraction/dating and might even find themselves dating less as they are less willing to settle. We can't cast a net on all guys who want to look overseas for marriage, because they probably have different stories and motivations - some like you suggest, just looking for sex and some whom are looking for a loyal, reciprocating partner who still believes in family values.
Leia Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 I don't think any guy needs to emigrate to get a woman. As ella said it, it's strange. Can't they find women outside their race in their own country?
You'reasian Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 I don't think any guy needs to emigrate to get a woman. As ella said it, it's strange. Can't they find women outside their race in their own country? Most of the guys I know whom have married foreign nationals were working for a number of months or years in the country where they met the woman. Some met them randomly; some were introduced. One of the things that some of the women found attractive, was the gentleman's attempt to learn her language, practice the culture etc. - and this was quite a show of respect for them. The reverse would not be true here at home. In turn these women practiced their English, participated in things to become more American - reciprocation if you will. If you start a relationship with respect and reciprocation (along with mutual attraction) you've got a good start... I agree with the OP. Guys should try to look at their options here at home first, but if you travel alot, I don't see any problem meeting someone overseas.
sally4sara Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Most of the guys I know whom have married foreign nationals were working for a number of months or years in the country where they met the woman. Some met them randomly; some were introduced. One of the things that some of the women found attractive, was the gentleman's attempt to learn her language, practice the culture etc. - and this was quite a show of respect for them. The reverse would not be true here at home. In turn these women practiced their English, participated in things to become more American - reciprocation if you will. If you start a relationship with respect and reciprocation (along with mutual attraction) you've got a good start... I agree with the OP. Guys should try to look at their options here at home first, but if you travel alot, I don't see any problem meeting someone overseas. Wouldn't learning the language and culture be a necessity rather than a show of respect? How else would someone go about trying to date someone who speaks a different language and has different customs? It wouldn't really be out of respect; it would be to further their agenda. In a country where you already speak the language and know the custom, where would the effort be applied if they were all about showing respect?
You'reasian Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Wouldn't learning the language and culture be a necessity rather than a show of respect? How else would someone go about trying to date someone who speaks a different language and has different customs? It wouldn't really be out of respect; it would be to further their agenda. In a country where you already speak the language and know the custom, where would the effort be applied if they were all about showing respect? English is spoken all over the world. Many people can get by speaking it some countries - but its something else to learn that local language and partake in that culture. Good question. In a place where language and customs are familiar, different people see different things as respect.
Woggle Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 If a man wants a happy marriage that lasts what other option does he have?
skydiveaddict Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 A pilot from my skydive club met a woman on a dating site one night who lives in Germany. The very next day he packed his bags and moved to Germany! crazy
reflecting zen Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 I've read posts on other boards by guys who have gotten so tired of American women that they've emigrated to other countries, particularly in Southeast Asia. A few of these guys have even gone so far as to try to legally renounce their US citizenship (if you read the law, this is a catch-22). I think those guys have a very distorted perspective, and I speak as the guy who always got underwear and socks from Santa at Christmas when the other boys got go-carts and BB guns. Those guys who emigrate to find women must be either 1. looking for a totally submissive sex slave, or 2. they are too impatient to start hanging around with people they like better. Personally, I wouldn't emigrate... I'd try to meet people in my own region who share my interests. I would say you are more deluded than disillusioned. Where I come from, women tend to think they are too good for anyone who approaches them. The irony is that most of them don't even look after themselves. It's an interesting culture where girls tend to stick to themselves and they think any man who approaches them has an agenda. Some of my friends and many of my countrymen have gone overseas and have found a huge difference in women's attitudes. They like and want to be approached, they are a lot friendlier. It's a lot easier to establish a connection. They have respect for and look after themselves. A friend of mine moved overseas a few years ago and is now engaged. For another friend of mine who has done the same, he's in a good solid long term relationship and their engagement is inevitable. I have personally seen this difference having travelled for a few months two years ago and I'm starting to think that I will have a better chance of finding happiness if I moved permanently. No, I do not want a submissive sex slave, I want a relationship with someone.
Blackfrost Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 I would say you are more deluded than disillusioned. Where I come from, women tend to think they are too good for anyone who approaches them. The irony is that most of them don't even look after themselves. It's an interesting culture where girls tend to stick to themselves and they think any man who approaches them has an agenda. Some of my friends and many of my countrymen have gone overseas and have found a huge difference in women's attitudes. They like and want to be approached, they are a lot friendlier. It's a lot easier to establish a connection. They have respect for and look after themselves. A friend of mine moved overseas a few years ago and is now engaged. For another friend of mine who has done the same, he's in a good solid long term relationship and their engagement is inevitable. I have personally seen this difference having travelled for a few months two years ago and I'm starting to think that I will have a better chance of finding happiness if I moved permanently. No, I do not want a submissive sex slave, I want a relationship with someone. Well said. My wife is not from the country we live in, but her attitude and her priorities were much more in alighnment with the relationship that we were both looking for as well. Plus, I've always been a big fan of aussie accents
You'reasian Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 (edited) Where I come from, women tend to think they are too good for anyone who approaches them. The irony is that most of them don't even look after themselves. It's an interesting culture where girls tend to stick to themselves and they think any man who approaches them has an agenda. Some of my friends and many of my countrymen have gone overseas and have found a huge difference in women's attitudes. They like and want to be approached, they are a lot friendlier. It's a lot easier to establish a connection. They have respect for and look after themselves. A friend of mine moved overseas a few years ago and is now engaged. For another friend of mine who has done the same, he's in a good solid long term relationship and their engagement is inevitable. I have personally seen this difference having travelled for a few months two years ago and I'm starting to think that I will have a better chance of finding happiness if I moved permanently. No, I do not want a submissive sex slave, I want a relationship with someone. In defense of local women... Women here put up their defenses because they get hit on by alot of guys - bad guys, good guys, trashy guys, geeky guys and just plain guys. They get hit on just for sex, sex, sex- they get hit on innocently, they get cheesy pick up lines, they get disrespected - some find this plain annoying. Add to it, the times they've let their guard down and let one of these guys in, they've been hurt. They start man hattin', pooling together and building each others self esteem to counter the hurt from men. So, they keep their guard up everywhere they go. It makes sense - but it doesn't change our situation as men. We can approach them directly, tell them we're more long-term minded etc to find out... they sometimes don't even know what they want. And after getting through all the barriers, going about it the right way, being patient and tolerating differences that nearly topple trust in relationships, we get back on the horse again and look for the next one. I can relate to your buddies situation with women from different cultures. Foreign women can be more relationship-oriented, they certainly do take care of themselves (are in great shape! , eat well) and want to be a guy's woman. They have to travel everywhere by foot or bike, which keeps them lean plus they have active hobbies. They tend to cook certain things rather than eat fast food. There are local women like this too if you look carefully, but its hit or miss. Just my 2 pesos on the matter. Keep the change.. Edited February 1, 2010 by You'reasian
Norman Bates Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I think those guys have a very distorted perspective, and I speak as the guy who always got underwear and socks from Santa at Christmas when the other boys got go-carts and BB guns. Those guys who emigrate to find women must be either 1. looking for a totally submissive sex slave, or 2. they are too impatient to start hanging around with people they like better. Or C, are sick of these bitches that run off when they hear the words "I love you". Maybe they want a wife not some skank thats going to cheat on him and use the excuse "you work to much" or"you dont work enough" or "you have a small dick"
Mattock5656 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 In defense of local women... Women here put up their defenses because they get hit on by alot of guys - bad guys, good guys, trashy guys, geeky guys and just plain guys. They get hit on just for sex, sex, sex- they get hit on innocently, they get cheesy pick up lines, they get disrespected - some find this plain annoying. Add to it, the times they've let their guard down and let one of these guys in, they've been hurt. They start man hattin', pooling together and building each others self esteem to counter the hurt from men. So, they keep their guard up everywhere they go. It makes sense - but it doesn't change our situation as men. We can approach them directly, tell them we're more long-term minded etc to find out... they sometimes don't even know what they want. And after getting through all the barriers, going about it the right way, being patient and tolerating differences that nearly topple trust in relationships, we get back on the horse again and look for the next one. I can relate to your buddies situation with women from different cultures. Foreign women can be more relationship-oriented, they certainly do take care of themselves (are in great shape! , eat well) and want to be a guy's woman. They have to travel everywhere by foot or bike, which keeps them lean plus they have active hobbies. They tend to cook certain things rather than eat fast food. There are local women like this too if you look carefully, but its hit or miss. Just my 2 pesos on the matter. Keep the change.. That's the thing though, as Americans we tend to keep it ourselves which is fine for awhile but makes for a difficult for social interaction. This is embedded into our culture, and I would argue that this is due to the lack of community in our society. We seem to only come together when it is in means of profit or when it benefits us in a way...There is just so much animosity here in the states, that no wonder people are looking eslewhere. Even if someone went over to a foreign country and didn't find what they were looking for, the atmosphere and less-uptightness makes for a good adventure.
stillafool Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I don't see a problem with it guys and I doubt if most American women care either. Guys go to other countries and find love where ever you can find it. It is a precious gift and I wish you all luck on your journey. There is no use in your continuing being unhappy with your current dating status here in the states.
purgatori Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 When I was much younger than I am now, I used to think that maybe heterosocial relations in a place like Japan would improve the odds of a shy person like myself finding someone who genuinely accepted them for who they are. Then I realized that however much cultures differ, we're all products of the same evolutionary pressures.
JohnnyBlaze Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Everyone throws out the stat that "there are x billion people in the world; there must be someone out there for you". Given that, and that we're constantly reminded that we're all one people and that borders are just political distinctions, what's so bad about finding love on the other side of a political distinction? Some people move from one end of the country to another because of a special someone, and in Canada and the US, that distance is farther than traveling a few countries in Europe, so what's the big deal? Where does it end? Should you stay within your own province/state? What about your city? There are massive differences in mentality from province to province (state to state) and even from city to city. I say, find love where you can. And I have to agree with Blackfrost; Aussie accents are sexy. In a few weeks, I'll get to be immersed in it!!
sally4sara Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 In defense of local women... Women here put up their defenses because they get hit on by alot of guys - bad guys, good guys, trashy guys, geeky guys and just plain guys. They get hit on just for sex, sex, sex- they get hit on innocently, they get cheesy pick up lines, they get disrespected - some find this plain annoying. Add to it, the times they've let their guard down and let one of these guys in, they've been hurt. They start man hattin', pooling together and building each others self esteem to counter the hurt from men. So, they keep their guard up everywhere they go. It makes sense - but it doesn't change our situation as men. We can approach them directly, tell them we're more long-term minded etc to find out... they sometimes don't even know what they want. And after getting through all the barriers, going about it the right way, being patient and tolerating differences that nearly topple trust in relationships, we get back on the horse again and look for the next one. I can relate to your buddies situation with women from different cultures. Foreign women can be more relationship-oriented, they certainly do take care of themselves (are in great shape! , eat well) and want to be a guy's woman. They have to travel everywhere by foot or bike, which keeps them lean plus they have active hobbies. They tend to cook certain things rather than eat fast food. There are local women like this too if you look carefully, but its hit or miss. Just my 2 pesos on the matter. Keep the change.. Agreed that our culture shapes us. If someone from this culture doesn't like the conditions, they should seek to cultivate a new direction within our culture since they find a problem with the way it currently stands. If you don't seek to improve your own culture and instead drag it off to some "better" one, all you should expect to find is that you are "degrading" this other " better" one with your "undesirable" customs. Many people are part of the problems they seek to avoid whether they want to accept that or not.
Author Disillusioned Posted February 2, 2010 Author Posted February 2, 2010 Agreed that our culture shapes us. If someone from this culture doesn't like the conditions, they should seek to cultivate a new direction within our culture since they find a problem with the way it currently stands. If you don't seek to improve your own culture and instead drag it off to some "better" one, all you should expect to find is that you are "degrading" this other " better" one with your "undesirable" customs. Many people are part of the problems they seek to avoid whether they want to accept that or not. That, plus the possible effect on demographics if enough men or women leave a given area. I've heard it said that Russia and Greece are 2 countries with far more women than men (it was true in Russia after WW2, because so many men were killed in the war), and a woman from SF complained to me that the same is true there, except she said the problem is that they have a disproportionately large number of gay men in the city. I'm still not sold on the idea of leaving the US though... I disagree with some of the cultural taboos in certain parts of the world. I can name a few countries I wouldn't set foot in for all the money in the world... and I'm not talking violent little banana republics either.
Woggle Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 If a man wants a happy marriage that lasts what do you suggest he do?
stillafool Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I saw on TV where women from Bulgaria or dying to come here and men are bringing them over here. Why not try that?
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