itstough Posted January 1, 2004 Share Posted January 1, 2004 Hello I am looking for some advice on what to do. I met this woman at work a little over a year ago. We became friends and talked and ate lunch together everyday. Well I started to become attracted to her and she said that she was Head over Heels over me. I kept pushing for something to happen but nothing of any substance ever happened. She has a boyfriend whom supports her and a child by him. Well she quit work in July and a month went by when she called me and asked me to come over and visit. Well I didn't go over. So she stopped by work the next day to have lunch with me and another one of her friends. But she just came back from the doctors where she found out she had cancer so she left without us having lunch. Now this is where I really messed things up. I asked her friend why she wanted me to come over the night before and she said just to hang out. Well I said I don't believe that. At that time I was suspicous of her motives. I had so many idea going on in my head that I just acted like a fool. I said all of the following things trying to shock her friend into telling me the truth. 1. I was going back to school for this girl. 2. I thought she was going to leave her boyfriend for me. etc etc. Her friend said can't you just be friends with her. I said no "like a fool". I then decided in November to call her. So I told her friend that I was going to call her and she said "Well call her". Herr friend is Notourious for being a sneak!!! By anyway I called her and she talked to me for like 5 minutes and she then made up and excuse to get me off the phone. Now she did seem happy to hear from me so I don't understand why she got rid of me off the phone. The bottom line here is that I am very very very very very bothered by the way I acted to a girl whom first and formost was supose to be my friend. I now want to make things better if I can and be friends again. Is this possible and how could I go about doing this? My only idea now is to send a message to her friends phone, telling her to tell my friend that I am sorry and I want to make things better. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 1, 2004 Share Posted January 1, 2004 ????????? You are asking the WRONG questions. Instead of trying to get closer and "push for something to happen", you should be asking: * How can I express my sympathy and support over her health situation? * How can I be strong and avoid pestering a woman for sex when I know she has a child and is extremely involved with the child's father? * How can I reawaken my sense of ethics so I am honest and non-manipulative in my interactions with this woman and her friend? Hey...a friend says..."I'm so sorry to hear about your health problems. Let me cook dinner on Thursday and drop it off at your place for YOU and YOUR FAMILY to eat. What else can I do?" A player looking for sex says, "How can I get closer to her and make it all better again (so she will be willing to play around with me like I thought she was going to)." Look in the mirror, tough...it ain't pretty. Link to post Share on other sites
Author itstough Posted January 1, 2004 Author Share Posted January 1, 2004 Originally posted by SoleMate ????????? You are asking the WRONG questions. Instead of trying to get closer and "push for something to happen", you should be asking: * How can I express my sympathy and support over her health situation? * How can I be strong and avoid pestering a woman for sex when I know she has a child and is extremely involved with the child's father? * How can I reawaken my sense of ethics so I am honest and non-manipulative in my interactions with this woman and her friend? Hey...a friend says..."I'm so sorry to hear about your health problems. Let me cook dinner on Thursday and drop it off at your place for YOU and YOUR FAMILY to eat. What else can I do?" A player looking for sex says, "How can I get closer to her and make it all better again (so she will be willing to play around with me like I thought she was going to)." Look in the mirror, tough...it ain't pretty. I think I am being taken wrong here. I am not interested in cheating with this woman. I am trying to make things better due to my lack of sympathy for her cancer etc. My head was really clouded by things her friend said to me and to this day I am not sure wether or not she was just playing games with my head. I am just really really sick of her friend and her constant games she plays. I really am looking for a friendship with this girl nothing more. I am also on a quest to find out wether or not she played with my head. Because I just can't figure out why she would talk to me on the phone for a few minutes making it sound as if she was happy to hear from me then all of a sudden decides to get off the phone. I do know she didn't mean to answer the phone in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Send her a card expressing concern, and offer your greetings to her boyfriend as well. Bypass the girlfriend, who does not appear to be an effective conduit for messages. Quit trying to "find out whether someone played with your head". Who cares? That's what a friend would do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author itstough Posted January 4, 2004 Author Share Posted January 4, 2004 Quit trying to "find out whether someone played with your head". Who cares? WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????? everybody would care if there head was being played with. Because if she played with my head then she is not a friend like I thought. Link to post Share on other sites
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