Why do men 37 yrs and up start to look like my grandpa?

[Twenty-ten]

Why is it that men over 35 start to look really old. Men over 40, forget it. I have been contacted by ex-boyfriends on facebook and I cannot believe how old they look and they are barely over 40. They are shocked at how I haven't changed much since we were in our 20's (their words not mine) and yet I don't even know what to say back. I've put on 10 lbs in 15 yrs yet some of them have put on like 60lbs they don't even look like the same men. Another one is bald and has a grey beard and he is only 40. I could barely make the connection when he contacted me.

 

Do I lie and tell them they look good when they clearly don't? What do you say to someone who looks old and unattractive?

 

What is up with men over 40 looking like a much older, sometimes very overweight, man? 40 is not old, so why do women still look considerably better than men at 40 for the most part?

[EM47]

what are you talking about...men age better than women for the most part lol

[greatgirlfriend]

I think it depends. I recently had a guy contact me with a grey beard and no hair and he was 43 I think. I don't know what kinds of guys you are seeking, but I am seeking never married guys and many are never married because they are ugly and getting uglier. My current boyfriend is 43 and has less grey hair than me (and I'm 39).

[meerkat stew]

As a 45 y.o. man, men seem to age better than women IME. I didn't realize gray hair was such a turnoff, women seem to like it on me. I like it on women also.

[alphamale]

What do you say to someone who looks old and unattractive?

you say "Goddddd its so nice to see you again, i didn't even reconginize you"

 

and thats it

[kiss_andmakeup]

I agree that I've had the opposite experience...most of the couples I know that are in their 40's and 50's, the man looks younger, even if he's not.

 

It could be because we women spend our lives doing asinine things like tanning and smearing our faces with oil and chemical based products on a daily basis. Which is why at 22 I completely stay away from tanning beds (never even been in one), wear sunscreen every day, and avoid wearing tons of makeup.

 

It also could just be because men suck, who knows.

[You'reasian]

Why is it that men over 35 start to look really old. Men over 40, forget it. I have been contacted by ex-boyfriends on facebook and I cannot believe how old they look and they are barely over 40. They are shocked at how I haven't changed much since we were in our 20's (their words not mine) and yet I don't even know what to say back. I've put on 10 lbs in 15 yrs yet some of them have put on like 60lbs they don't even look like the same men. Another one is bald and has a grey beard and he is only 40. I could barely make the connection when he contacted me.

 

Do I lie and tell them they look good when they clearly don't? What do you say to someone who looks old and unattractive?

 

What is up with men over 40 looking like a much older, sometimes very overweight, man? 40 is not old, so why do women still look considerably better than men at 40 for the most part?

 

I'm under 35, but will be there in a few.

 

Damn, I must look old - just ran my first marathon at 30 though. Most of the folks passing me up were 40+...

[CaliGuy]

I'll be 41 on the 21st. Check my profile photos. Do I look like your grandpa?

 

No, of course not. Why?

 

Because I don't sit around on my arse drinking beer, eating pizza and being a lazy slob. I eat right, take care of myself and work out 6 days a week. I also have damn good genes too, haha, something you can't work for. You either got'em or you don't.

[randall]

They are shocked at how I haven't changed much since we were in our 20's (their words not mine) and yet I don't even know what to say back.

Priceless. You don't seriously believe these guys do you? And on Facebook what's more.

 

If you really believe women in their 40s looks as good as women in their 20s you are deluded. Makeup helps but it doesn't help that much!

 

Caveat: If you are asian it may be different. Some asian women in their 40s do look to be in their 20s still, but for non-asian women to make this claim it's a long stretch at best.

[Crazy Magnet]

Some people look young and some people look old. People finally think I'm 21 or 22, and my boyfriend laughs because I get carded EVERYWHERE. I'm 30, and it's annoying. But whatever, I have young genes I guess. It's also about taking care of yourself. I exercise more than most although I don't hit the gym, I eat better than most, I use sun screen (daily since about age 14), I get plenty of sleep, stay hydrated.

 

I weigh the same as I did when I was 16, which I think leads a lot of people equate thin with young. I have no idea why.

[greatgirlfriend]

Btw, I look the same as I did in my 20's and I am not kidding. I stay in shape, I don't wear a lot of makeup, I don't suntan. I also was blessed with fantastic genes (my mom is 62 and looks mid 40's).

[burning 4 revenge]

It seems to me that men age much worse between say 30-45, because a lot of us lose hair and have new hair growing in unwanted places. Also there are more dramatic bone changes it seems and all of this is related to the violent effect testosterone takes on our bodies.

 

The flipside of that coin is that testosterone also gives us a lot better musculature and muscle tone and so even with excess fat men tend not to melt into blubber quite the same way women who are out of shape do.

 

It seems that post menopausal women age worse than post-adrenopausal men for the most part though, because the lack of musculature combined with osteoperosis takes women down hard once the hormones stop circulating.

 

The lesson in all of this is pray for big advances in stem cell research

[Twenty-ten]

I think it depends. I recently had a guy contact me with a grey beard and no hair and he was 43 I think. I don't know what kinds of guys you are seeking, but I am seeking never married guys and many are never married because they are ugly and getting uglier. My current boyfriend is 43 and has less grey hair than me (and I'm 39).

 

I think you are right!

 

But it's not just the loss of hair or the fact they have gray hair, it is the fact that a lot of guys after 40 stop dressing well, and really make themselves look old. Granted women can dye their hair and wear makeup so we tend to keep our appearance more, but we can still watch how we dress and our weight to ensure we don't look older than we have to. When I was dating I went out with men that wore "dad" jeans and a no-name ugly golf-style shirt on a date and they were so serious and boring. Just too old for a 40 yr old guy. Why is it that women are more spunky in this sense and men are just so dry and lose all sense of anything remotely cool, after 40?

 

I work with men in their 40's that look amazing, and they are age appropriate cool. If that makes sense. While I see some great looking men in their 40's and 50's, for the most part if you were to look around the majority of men after 40 really let themselves go. They act old and become like grumpy old boring men, like a grandpa before time. They lack the spunk that younger men and women have.

[Chicago_Guy]

I agree that I've had the opposite experience...most of the couples I know that are in their 40's and 50's, the man looks younger, even if he's not.

 

It could be because we women spend our lives doing asinine things like tanning and smearing our faces with oil and chemical based products on a daily basis. Which is why at 22 I completely stay away from tanning beds (never even been in one), wear sunscreen every day, and avoid wearing tons of makeup.

 

It also could just be because men suck, who knows.

 

Collagen is a protein that everyone has in their skin. Collagen helps to repair skin and keep it looking tight and youthful. However, as we age, we lose collagen in our skin over time and tend to have more wrinkles/stretched skin as we get older. There were some scientific studies a few years ago that showed that women tend to lose collagen at faster rates than men as they age. That is why women tend to show their age, at least in their faces, faster than men although there definitely are some exceptions to the general rule.

[burning 4 revenge]

As far as the gray hair goes I know a lot of women in their 30's graying but its socially acceptable to cover it up

 

A man dying his hair is a bit femme

 

My best friend is 35 and half gray and Im 35 and half bald (no gray), but as men the only dignified thing we can do is keep fit and clean while women have the option of hiding behind make up and fancy hairstyles

 

The gray beard is bad judgement IMO

[greatgirlfriend]

I think you are right!

 

But it's not just the loss of hair or the fact they have gray hair, it is the fact that a lot of guys after 40 stop dressing well, and really make themselves look old. Granted women can dye their hair and wear makeup so we tend to keep our appearance more, but we can still watch how we dress and our weight to ensure we don't look older than we have to. When I was dating I went out with men that wore "dad" jeans and a no-name ugly golf-style shirt on a date and they were so serious and boring. Just too old for a 40 yr old guy. Why is it that women are more spunky in this sense and men are just so dry and lose all sense of anything remotely cool, after 40?

 

I work with men in their 40's that look amazing, and they are age appropriate cool. If that makes sense. While I see some great looking men in their 40's and 50's, for the most part if you were to look around the majority of men after 40 really let themselves go. They act old and become like grumpy old boring men, like a grandpa before time. They lack the spunk that younger men and women have.

 

True. I think men in general have this attitude of couldn't care less, accept me who I am. While that's true to some extent (and I don't worry if a guy doesn't like me anymore) they take it to extremes. I've had guys I was meeting for the first time not even in clean clothes. That right there tells me a lot. Meanwhile women would never show up in dirty clothes (ok a few would) because they want the guy to like them.

[Twenty-ten]

Priceless. You don't seriously believe these guys do you? And on Facebook what's more.

 

 

I believe my mirror, it does not lie. I look at least 8 years younger than my age and I am in my mid 30's I am dating a man 4 yrs younger than me and people think he is older. It's not just facebook that I have noticed this I see this everywhere, facebook has just been a bit of a shocker to see how many of them look so drastically different when I haven't changed at all practically. For the men I see on the street I have no point of reference, for these men I do. I know the "before"

 

 

I still look good, these men do not. They don't even look like the same people I dated back when. It's pretty shocking to see.

[Jersey Shortie]

People of all ages have the ability to look good or bad depending on how they take care of themselves. This isn't a gender issue. Men or women don't age better or worse. I do think we live in a climate that is less kind to women aging and unfortunetly, men are starting to see some of that backlash thrown their way now that women have other expectations for being with a man other then income. I however do not think men in their 30s or 40s look like grandpas at all. And your a man that thinks men automatically age better, that's really not true. It's that society is kinder to you about aging then it is to women. I think both genders would do better in showing more compassion and appreciation to each other then critism in something like aging .

[Twenty-ten]

As far as the gray hair goes I know a lot of women in their 30's graying but its socially acceptable to cover it up

 

A man dying his hair is a bit femme

 

My best friend is 35 and half gray and Im 35 and half bald (no gray), but as men the only dignified thing we can do is keep fit and clean while women have the option of hiding behind make up and fancy hairstyles

 

The gray beard is bad judgement IMO

 

 

You are right there is a double standard for women because we have so many cosmetics accessible to us we can hide our age as well, I've had straggler grays since I was 25 so sure I dye my hair but I would never let my grays grow in and embrace looking old in my 30's or 40's even. Not even my 50's actually, some women would, just not this one. I do have good skin and look younger but even despite all that it's my attitude I have a feeling I will be hip and up with fashion and have good taste well into my golden years, but for some men they really throw in the towel and they look so necessarily old before their time, I mean let's face it 40 is not old!

 

 

I should have clarified, bald can be really sexy and so can gray hair with the right attitude and clothing ensemble you can look very cool still, it's the bad clothes the boring personality and the gray beard and balding that does nothing for men. Why even have a beard if it will be all gray and you are bald!?!

[Twenty-ten]

People of all ages have the ability to look good or bad depending on how they take care of themselves. This isn't a gender issue. Men or women don't age better or worse. I do think we live in a climate that is less kind to women aging and unfortunetly, men are starting to see some of that backlash thrown their way now that women have other expectations for being with a man other then income. I however do not think men in their 30s or 40s look like grandpas at all. And your a man that thinks men automatically age better, that's really not true. It's that society is kinder to you about aging then it is to women. I think both genders would do better in showing more compassion and appreciation to each other then critism in something like aging .

 

Oh no, it is definitely a gender issue, I see more men that fit this description than women. Hands down, more men look much older at 40.

[burning 4 revenge]

Oh no, it is definitely a gender issue, I see more men that fit this description than women. Hands down, more men look much older at 40.

Do you think this explains the cougar thing?

 

Like half of single women over 40 want guys around 10 years younger and the more money the women have the higher the chances they want younger instead of their own age

[Jersey Shortie]

You're wrong Twenty-ten. It's not a gender issue at all. I've seen many attractive older men. It depends on how a person takes care of themselves.

[burning 4 revenge]

You're wrong Twenty-ten. It's not a gender issue at all. I've seen many attractive older men. It depends on how a person takes care of themselves.

I dont know I think shes right for a certain demographic

 

Around college educated people and suburbia it seems the women are taking much better care of themselves than men

 

Now if you go out to the sticks the women are hideous

[Twenty-ten]

you say "Goddddd its so nice to see you again, i didn't even reconginize you"

 

and thats it

 

 

I have and believe me I am flattered that they looked me up, but the thing is that they keep complimenting on all the pictures that I load up from recent events or that friends load up, and they post comments like "wow stunning" or "you look the same as when we dated even more beautiful" and I don't know what to say in return. One of them is sending me pictures via the email function and I just don't know what to say, I don't want to be rude, but I don't want to lie either...

 

These guys are married or in relationships so there is no interest on their parts for anything other than to catch up after all these years.

[Woggle]

It's not about gender but about how well you take care of yourself. I know women in my early 30s who I used to go to high school with and they look like who did it and ran. All those years of drinking, drugging and being out of control finally caught up with them meanwhile I am in the best physical shape I have ever been.