lych Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 me and my boyfriend, ex now, were talking on the phone and he didn't talk to me for 10 days since we last fought. it was real bad. i finally talked to him and asked if he wanted to work it out and he kept saying "i dont know". and i told him if he didn't want to be with me anymore to just say so so i can have closure and i'll be fine. but yet he continues to say "i dont know" and said thats the only answer he's going to give me. i said it wasn't fair cause after everything we've been through, i deserve an answer yet he's didn't give me one. i told him.. you just don't give a **** anymore and you just want me move on...and he was like "oh my god, take it however you want to take it but you're never going to be right. the only answer i'm giving to you is 'I DONT KNOW' so take it however you wanna take it." This drove me crazy. Why is he doing this? what should i do for now on? please give me a complete thought folks. thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
CrestfallenNoMore Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 "I don't know what I want to do" is an answer. It's just not the answer you want. You have two alternatives: Live your life and wait around for him to know, or live your life and not wait around for him to figure it out. Either way, you're better off letting him process his thoughts on his own time. Regardless, you have no other option but to go on and live your life. Link to post Share on other sites
JL911 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 There is no such thing as closure unless you come to some sort of mutial agreement on a separation and both feel ok with the decision.... In looking for closure you are more or less seeking to try to salvage the relationship or maybe trying to make the opposite person feel bad for the pain they have caused... Some people are just not built for the long haul when it comes to relationships...Even 3, 4, or 5 years is not really all that long in the grand scheme of things.... Eventually in a relationship a persons character is put into question...They either pass or fail... Link to post Share on other sites
Eisenhower Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 My ex kept giving me the "I don't know" routine for months as far as would we give it another try. Even after I found out she was with someone new, she wouldn't admit to it and said she "didn't know" if she was interested in him or not. Some people are confused. Some are cowards. Some are both. Either way, it's unhealthy for you. I'd say you'll respect yourself more if you tell him to shove his "I don't know" and walk away. Eisenhower Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 "I don't know what I want to do" is an answer. It's just not the answer you want. You have two alternatives: Live your life and wait around for him to know, or live your life and not wait around for him to figure it out. Either way, you're better off letting him process his thoughts on his own time. Regardless, you have no other option but to go on and live your life. I agree with this a 100%. The ball is in your court. Do you want to sit there waiting for him to make up his mind about you or are you willing to take your life into your own hands? Personally I would never waste my time on a guy who's not sure if he wants to be with me. I have better things to do than be strung along. Link to post Share on other sites
kwyser Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 It is probably because he actually doesn't know. He may want to break up, and yet still be with you at the same time, if that makes sense. Basically he isn't sure what he wants yet, and is being defensive because he doesn't know what else to do. Give him some time, leave him be for a while, and he may give you an answer. If nothing after a week or two, you can contact him. I hope this helped, good luck Link to post Share on other sites
bbrooke Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 Eventually in a relationship a persons character is put into question...They either pass or fail... This is GOOD... so true. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 "I don't know" means "I don't know". Your best course of action is to stop pushing him into a corner for a definitive answer. This questioning is only going to push him away further and ruin any possibility of working things out. Give him space, and lots of it. It's a bad idea to try and force him into giving you an answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Hersheys Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 You should take the meaning of "I don't know" as "I don't want a relationship with you". Painful as it sounds but in most cases when someone is vague with you, the answer usually means NO. Stop pushing him for answers. I agree with the above posts, you should give him space enough to give YOU time to think if it is the kind of relationship you really want. Do to him what he does to you. Be unsure of him too. Sometimes we get too embroiled in thinking about what the other person wants but we oftentimes (if not always) fail to think about what we want and what's best for us. Forget about closure. It will not happen right now. Let time hand it to you. You will be surprised (and amused) you've found it when you have moved on and doesn't care much about him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
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