Tips on meeting quality men

[greatgirlfriend]

You only want jerks while nice guys remain virgins at 37

 

No woman wants to have sex with a troll which is why you are still a virgin. Stay in your parent's basement

[Barky]

Look if it was good enough for the governor of NY Eliot Spitzer then, why not?

 

I think he paid top-dollar.

 

Since you are paying her for it she has to do all the work. Just lie back and let her ride you. Tell her you're a virgin and if she believes you she may not take all your money when her pimp busts down the door and they rob you.

 

Look up The Erotic Review online. Ho' ratings, basically. Get a high-rated ho and you can be guaranteed a good time for not much money. Give it a shot. I've always wanted to but never had the guts

[Septum]

Try your local library or campus library. That's the place many good-mannered gentlemen go to learn. If you're looking for commitment and not too much excitement, that's where you want to be.

[crosswordfiend]

Try your local library or campus library. That's the place many good-mannered gentlemen go to learn. If you're looking for commitment and not too much excitement, that's where you want to be.

 

I don't know about the local library. Over here, it's mostly unemployed and homeless people who hang out there all day. At least they're literate...

[OnlyJake]

It's Humpday! Time to implement Phase 1 of the plan outlined by meerkat!

 

I also joined a meetup group for one of my hobbies...

 

I've been in a funk lately (different story) and haven't gotten out as much as I should recently....

 

So I'm not really looking to DATE anyone at the meetup thing, but hoping to expand my social circle with people who have similar interests.

[meerkat stew]

Good luck! Just remember the cardinal rule, if no good stories result, make some up for your fans here!

[CarrieT]

Museums and art galleries, especially at opening events.

 

I wish. None of the things on these lists have been working for me and I've tried them all. I had biggest hopes on the museums and galleries as that is a special interest of mine.

 

I think I need to just leave the Gay-centric San Francisco...

[Satisfaction]

There's another thread floating around here about why I'll be avoiding meeting men in that location

 

I remember that thread

well

[Chicago_Guy]

A higher-end gym where young professionals work out is a great place to meet someone.

[paddington bear]

hmmm what about Alphamale's other thread asking how many men have asked women out in public places, and the answer was not that many. So I think you can go to all the libraries, bookshops, museums, art galleries you like, the chances of some random man approaching might be slim.

 

I would suggest something or somewhere where you could go regularly and be seen regularly, therefore anyone of a less assertive disposition would have a few shots at seeing you and then approaching and likewise. So the gym suggestion was probably a good one, as would anything where there is a regular group of mixed random people.

 

Don't do an evening class, they're full of women hoping to meet single men.

 

Dance classes are good, but then again things like salsa tend to be populated by couples wanting to learn to dance together and you are left dancing with other women.

 

Sporting events. How about the finishing line of a marathon as a good place to hang out with bottled water and some aluminum foil?

[Itzo]

Thanks for that "helpful" reply.

 

You are very welcome

 

The reason why you should not make a list, is because you have expectations to meet the Mr. Perfect, which is a concept of Mr. Perfect in your mind or the imaginary man that you can be happy with.

 

The man you have in mind, as your LIST SHOWS does not exist. Period!

 

If he's a good marketer ... no-no .. this is a bad sign ... economist???? Nooooooo ... finance .. this is crap .. I would not meet a man like this. What kind of non-sense this is?

 

Why most independent women make a list, to find a man. This is so dumb, in my opinion. You are looking for external qualities, rather than internal ones.

 

Your superficial journey will not take you anywhere. Instead ... I have some suggestions for ya.

 

1. Body language ... the way this person walks, hold himself ... is he confident with himself? Does he make an eye contact with me... showing some interest? Is he present in the moment with me?

 

2. Sexual Communication ... is he's flirting with me? Having a sense of humor? Does he pushing me away, when I get closer to him? Does he try to avoid job, home, work type of communications with you?

 

3. Personality ... Does he speak freely? Can you sense his strong identity?

Do you sense his strong reality? Is he congruent with you, in terms of words and actions? Does he control (lead) every situation and interaction?

Do you believe he understands you, and listens to you? With all these in mind ... can you trust him?

 

4. Sex ... is he good in bed? Does he spend more time with foreplay? Does he want to give oral sex?

 

If the answers to all questions above are YES, then you have your quality men. Stop doing this creepy "external" list of yours. Focus on internal qualities.

[temple]

Have you ever met men there? I'm just interested, because I frequently go to both, and am a member of 2 museums (for the openings and other events) and have found that most of the men there are with their wives. Maybe I shouldn't give up on that venue just yet

 

Oh yes, I've met some really nice, interesting guys in museums and galleries. Not that long ago I was queuing for a special exhibition and this charming man in front of me not only offered to pay for my ticket but then acted as my personal tour guide. I'm very into history and literature so going to these sorts of events has the added benefit of meeting like-minded people. Don't rule it out

[OnlyJake]

I remember that thread

well

Bahahaha!! So you were being funny!! I like it!

hmmm what about Alphamale's other thread asking how many men have asked women out in public places, and the answer was not that many. So I think you can go to all the libraries, bookshops, museums, art galleries you like, the chances of some random man approaching might be slim.

 

I would suggest something or somewhere where you could go regularly and be seen regularly, therefore anyone of a less assertive disposition would have a few shots at seeing you and then approaching and likewise. So the gym suggestion was probably a good one, as would anything where there is a regular group of mixed random people.

 

Don't do an evening class, they're full of women hoping to meet single men.

 

Dance classes are good, but then again things like salsa tend to be populated by couples wanting to learn to dance together and you are left dancing with other women.

 

Sporting events. How about the finishing line of a marathon as a good place to hang out with bottled water and some aluminum foil?

Well, I plan on doing the approaching!

 

You have some really good ideas though. I was taking a jazz class, but it's not really for me (I'm not that dramatic)...any suggestions on a different, fun type of dance to take that doesn't involve having a partner? I have no rhythm whatsoever, and am a TERRIBLE dancer, but think it's so fun anyways...

 

You are very welcome

 

The reason why you should not make a list, is because you have expectations to meet the Mr. Perfect, which is a concept of Mr. Perfect in your mind or the imaginary man that you can be happy with.

 

The man you have in mind, as your LIST SHOWS does not exist. Period!

 

If he's a good marketer ... no-no .. this is a bad sign ... economist???? Nooooooo ... finance .. this is crap .. I would not meet a man like this. What kind of non-sense this is?

 

Why most independent women make a list, to find a man. This is so dumb, in my opinion. You are looking for external qualities, rather than internal ones.

 

Your superficial journey will not take you anywhere. Instead ... I have some suggestions for ya.

 

1. Body language ... the way this person walks, hold himself ... is he confident with himself? Does he make an eye contact with me... showing some interest? Is he present in the moment with me?

 

2. Sexual Communication ... is he's flirting with me? Having a sense of humor? Does he pushing me away, when I get closer to him? Does he try to avoid job, home, work type of communications with you?

 

3. Personality ... Does he speak freely? Can you sense his strong identity?

Do you sense his strong reality? Is he congruent with you, in terms of words and actions? Does he control (lead) every situation and interaction?

Do you believe he understands you, and listens to you? With all these in mind ... can you trust him?

 

4. Sex ... is he good in bed? Does he spend more time with foreplay? Does he want to give oral sex?

 

If the answers to all questions above are YES, then you have your quality men. Stop doing this creepy "external" list of yours. Focus on internal qualities.

You totally don't get me or my point at all!!

 

I don't have time to properly acknowledge your post right now, though, as I'm running out the door for Humpday HH!!!!!!

 

Wish me luck

[temple]

I wish. None of the things on these lists have been working for me and I've tried them all. I had biggest hopes on the museums and galleries as that is a special interest of mine.

 

I think I need to just leave the Gay-centric San Francisco...

 

Yes leave that all behind and come to Europe - where our single straight men actually enjoy culture

[Itzo]

Yes leave that all behind and come to Europe - where our single straight men actually enjoy culture

 

You got it

[alphamale]

to meet men you have to go where men go and to meet women you have to go where women go.

 

its as simple as that but apparently some folks are confused about this

 

women don't go to sports bars

women do go to nice restaurants

men don't go to art galleries and museums

men do go to sporting events

[Green]

Weddings are a good place to meet people. If you make friends and they have parties, then the party is a good place to meet people. Taking an art class or what ever you are interested in is a good way to have fun and meet people.

 

Any time your out in public and you see a man you like just smile at him and something might happen.

 

You could do the online dating thing at a site you find apealing.

[alphamale]

Weddings are a good place to meet people.

how many weddings does the average person go to per year? one maybe two?

[counterman]

how many weddings does the average person go to per year? one maybe two?

 

That's a good point! Unless, you are talking about crashing weddings!

 

Speaking of weddings, I haven't been to one in a while!

[Orchid8]

Biggest mistake I see a lot of single women do is they drastically limit where they'll allow men to approach them. So they'll get off work, go to the gym, then go to the grocery store in their sweaty gym clothes before heading home. In any of those spots they do not want men talking to them, simply because they believe they look horrible there. Yet they'll doll themselves up to go to the bars with the gal pals, and wonder why only douchebags approach them.

 

 

You have my weekday schedule down to a tee. Work, gym, grocery store in sweats looking all funky. LOL Then I get dolled up to hit the lounges with my beautiful friends and noticed that the only men that hit on me are douchebags. I need to change it up a bit....

[Green]

You have my weekday schedule down to a tee. Work, gym, grocery store in sweats looking all funky. LOL Then I get dolled up to hit the lounges with my beautiful friends and noticed that the only men that hit on me are douchebags. I need to change it up a bit....

 

I think Djam meant just be open to meeting men even if you are in sweats. Smile, or stare at a guy you like. If hes cool and looking he'll come over and try to be smooth with you.

[Itzo]

You have my weekday schedule down to a tee. Work, gym, grocery store in sweats looking all funky. LOL Then I get dolled up to hit the lounges with my beautiful friends and noticed that the only men that hit on me are douchebags. I need to change it up a bit....

 

wow ... that's interesting.

 

So you do not meet "quality men" because you have routine to do things during the day, even though you DID NOT know it.

 

I agree with the FACT that you have to change that.

 

Looks is important for women, but quality men do not care about it as much. hehee .... men of course are visual beings ... but you do not need to SCREAM ... LOOK at me. douchebags are approaching you, because they want just to have sex with you ... nothing else. They just get turned on when they see perhaps yours sexy outfit ... this is not the life you want to live

 

It is very counter-intuitive, because when you get dressed up in a SCREAM MODE (this is how I call it) you are LESS likely to get approached by a quality men.

 

To make changes is tough though ... cuz you created a habit doing things ... it will be very hard for you to change ... but hell change is always good you'll see ...

 

If you are too frustrated with your situation now, it can only push the buttons to do something different

 

If you have the desire to make some change ... don't wait too longer, cuz you might lose the moment of motivation .. and to get sweep off by the "regularities of the day."

[Eeyore79]

Remember you want men as they get off from work, as they have JOBS, CARS, and other indicia of not being a starving student who will have you doing shooters and playing rock star again Moreover, they have a cocktail in them, and will approach faster and easier.

This is a very good point. If you can maximise your chances of meeting a guy with a stable career and good prospects, that can only be a positive thing. Not that a guy has to be rich or anything, but you don't want a shelf-stacker or a jobless loser.

 

Or if this sounds like too much work, you can just pay a small monthly fee and put up a dating site profile.

This is what I did - it's much easier to suss out someone's personality from an online profile than from a brief meeting in a bar, plus you know they're all single and looking for someone. OKCupid is pretty good considering it's free; there are loads of nice people on that, and it has a match percentage for every person so you can sort out your best matches.

 

Also I did a naughty thing on match.com - I made a profile and put at the end: I don't subscribe, but if you want to chat to me you can find me on OKCupid (the free dating site) under the same username. I actually had guys messaging me who had registered with OKCupid specifically because they saw my profile on Match and wanted to chat with me

[OnlyJake]

I don't have any great, entertaining stories...But:

 

All of this worked really well. I mixed it up between letting guys approach us, and approaching them, although I have to admit I was too chicken to approach any guys that I didn't notice checking me out first, and my friend was pretty against approaching guys. She's gorgeous, and has never had to make a move in her life.

 

I love her to pieces, and she's a lot of fun, but I may see if someone else wants to try this again with me tonight and next week. The other reason I'm considering that is because there were a lot of pairs of guys who approached us, which is great, but she talked waaaaay too long to all the guys I didn't like!! So then I was stuck trying to shake off the guy so I could go find someone else to talk to.

 

Surprisingly, this scenario worked really well in one particular bar, because apparently it was fairly obvious that I was trying to get away from this one guy...and 3 different men approached me at this time, AND a 4th one was making faces at me.

 

Maybe she and I just need to chat a little more beforehand about how we're going to handle things.

 

I'm hoping for a phone call or two in the next few days; I will be making a phone call in a little bit, AND I have a date for next week already.

 

What should I wear tonight?

 

Despite what we always say to men about bars, they are a woman's best bet IMO. The ratio is just too good and there are quality people there early at HH. Look for heavy employment clusters of the types of men you want. Office parks, health complexes, etc. Then look within a .5 mile radius of those clusters for the bars with the most popular HHs. This will take lots of fun experimentation, hopping in a place, scoping around, moving to next.

 

You want 5-10 places on your roster, easy to move between, comfortable pub type places that attract men, not chichi places with expensive drinks. Once you have your roster of places, you will need a wingwoman or man who has similar goals as you. An attractive woman is best. You and your wing are going to rotate between these spots a couple nights a week.

 

You will go in a place, and if there are enough prospects inside, go to the bar and order club soda, something clear that could be a drink, sit at the bar or stand near it if full, and have a light conversation with your wing, but an open stance to the room, frequently looking around, happy and smiling. Your excuse for not drinking is "I have to drive" of course. You will have your club soda and then leave, tip the bartender or waitron a dollar, but leave no matter what. Nix places that charge for club soda. This will prompt whatever guys are talking to you to ask for your phone number. Leave slowly so guys who have been scoping you have a chance to approach. Stay still, don't move around. Be approachable.

 

If you do these things at the right places, I have no doubt you will fill your roster much more quickly than hanging out at the grocery or bookstores. Remember you want men as they get off from work, as they have JOBS, CARS, and other indicia of not being a starving student who will have you doing shooters and playing rock star again Moreover, they have a cocktail in them, and will approach faster and easier. Once you give out a phone number in a place, move to the next immediately. Your goal is to rotate among 5ish places for 30 minutes each and then get home by 7-8.

 

The big key is to stay completely sober, and save your partying for other times. Staying sober will allow you to work your plan without spending money or ruining your health Wednesday and Thursday are good for this kind of prospecting. Results will improve over time as men see you at a particular place a couple of times.

 

Or if this sounds like too much work, you can just pay a small monthly fee and put up a dating site profile. You will get lots of non-qualified noise, but no different than bars. If you go this route, I and others here who date online can help you. Can tell you anything you need to know about how to do online right. You can blend both approaches too.

[meerkat stew]

What should I wear tonight?

 

What are you wearing right now, babyyyy?

 

couldn't resist.

 

Sounds great overall, keep the talkative wingwoman, you will learn to appreciate her overtalking as you can use her to set picks and can spin off away from undesirables and leave them fawning on her while you move onto the next. For a first night, sounds like you two make a good team, and you will only get better together as you gain experience. She will probably tone down her overtalking also.

 

As far as what to wear, you are a far better judge of your closet than we are. You want to give a sexy girl next door image, as opposed to "party girl" or "icy boardroom look" for maximum impact on us and approachability if that helps any.

 

We do need quantified data to assess this, or at least you do, how many men approached, quotient of those desirable, avg talking time with each before number is asked, how many numbers you gave, how many call and how long they wait? Spreadsheet it up Jakey!

 

You may have a book on your hands, but just remember the little people you met on the way up, and of course my fat royalty check.

 

EDIT: Oh one last thing, you will be running into the same men eventually if you go to the same places, a mnemonic or small notepad may be in order to write down names and descriptions.

Edited February 4, 2010 by meerkat stew