Girls Night Out?

[phineas]

My wife pulled disapearing acts, girls night out, shopping, whatever.

 

Called me musilini for & controlling for asking her where she was & who she was with.

 

She is my wife. She expect me to tell her where I am & who I am with. I could not go out with friends even once a month without her calling or texting me multiple times to check up on me.

 

Yet, she would leave the house & leave me home with our son & if I called her cell it went straight to voicemail.

 

I eventually stopped backing down.

I stopped putting up with her "i'm going shopping" at 9 am & coming home after dark without a single bag in her hand.

 

I told her to either answer my questions or get out & go stay at her fathers.

 

We are now getting a divorce.

 

Do you share the same cell phone bill?

[Dexter Morgan]

My wife pulled disapearing acts, girls night out, shopping, whatever.

 

Called me musilini for & controlling for asking her where she was & who she was with.

 

She is my wife. She expect me to tell her where I am & who I am with. I could not go out with friends even once a month without her calling or texting me multiple times to check up on me.

 

amazing isn't it? its called "controlling" by some on here when someone expects their spouse to act like a spouse.

[sid3]

My first thought would be the phone bill, and credit card statements. Having children at home and not knowing where their mother is, well that's wrong on several levels. Not telling your spouse where you are going screams disrespect. Man or woman should be accountable for there where abouts when they are married. Sad that women consider it controlling in an attempt to diminish their inapproriate behavior. I hope your able to get to the bottom of this Pervis. It's not right that your treated so poorly IMO

[troggleputty]

Hey sorry about the bump but I found this thread which is quite interesting.

 

Whatever happened to NervisPervis?

 

Does anyone know if he ever resolve things with his spouse?

[NervisPervis]

Hey Troggle. I guess I do owe an update, since you ask.

 

She hasn't been out since I started this thread. At first I simply voiced what should have been clearly seen as healthy concerns about behavior that I didn't feel comfortable with. But once the accusations of jealousy, controlling behavior and "I can't believe you don't trust me" immediately started to fly, I knew I had a problem. I'm not saying she's been physically unfaithful, but anyone who spent ANY time on these forums can spot "a cheaters" reactions when they see it.

 

Thanks to the advice I received here, I was able to cut through the BS and tell her I need to go out with her next time. No more just her and her wingwoman until I can see what it's all about. If her behavior is so appropriate, there should be no problem with her repeating it in front of me. Obviously, that's not going to work. I highly doubt she could sell it as fun for 2 hours with the cat in the house (while the mouse plays, get it?), let alone how she could have such a passion for 5 hours of it at a time.

 

I know that's not the end of my ordeal. Since she won't talk about these nights, I've had to conjure up my own images of what probably went on and I don't like it. Even if she never goes again, I not only have to deal with the "what-if's" of what may have gone on, but what drove her to it.

 

Nightclubbing for married women. Like the thread I saw on another forum said, it's "legitimate infidelity". I don't understand it

[Dexter Morgan]

so basically since you suggested going with her next time, instead of saying "sure, you can come along"....she just prefers not to go.

 

Ya, its not surprise. Mice can't play with the cat around. what is really happening is that she is not engaging in appropriate behavior and you would ruin the fun, and it would be a good bed she has cheated on some level. she doesn't want to go now because she doesn't want you around. the whole purpose of her going out and partying without you wouldn't work with you around. She wants attention from other men, and/or wants to act on that attention...whatever form that may be.

 

She is not a wife or a mother.

[NervisPervis]

Yea. Thanks Dexter. I got that.

Edited March 4, 2010 by NervisPervis
spelling

[blue.iris]

I'm not married, but there's no way I'd be ok if my bf went clubbing with his guy friends and came back home at 2. There's no way he'd be ok if I went clubbing and came back at 2 either.

 

Having dinner with friends if they have to talk to you about something they may not feel comfortable talking with your partner about is one thing, going out drinking and dancing until 2 am is another. I hope you've sorted this out with your wife and that you guys come to an agreement.

 

**Additionally**

 

While your wife is being inconsiderate by staying out till 2, there's no evidence that she's cheating! It's best not to jump to conclusions unless you have adequate proof.

Edited March 4, 2010 by blue.iris
wanted to add don't jump to conclusions about cheating

[jnj express]

Hey Nervis--I know that not knowing what went on is tuff---the imagination can really run wild.

 

How is your wife acting otherwise----since you cut off her single escapades, has she changed in any other ways.

 

Is she dressing differently, working out, where she wasn't B4----keeping her phone by her side----you know the different things that point to something going on. How is her attitude toward you. Does she go out with her wing partner to dinner, or movies???????? Or anything else.