lovehurts Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Hi guys, This is my first post here I am hoping for some advice. My ex and I broke up about 3-4 weeks ago. He inititaed the break up saying that is was too hard. Distance and timing ect. I knew that things hadent been that great but i thought they were insignificant things that didnt deserve to get in the way. Obviosly he had a different perception. I love this guy with all my heart and was convinced that he was the one! I was and still am heartbroken. I would love another chance Anyway, I did the stupid thing and pleaded my case with him a couple of times saying that we could be awesome togther ect. Pretty dumb, but sometimes the logical thing to do just skips your mind I guess. We have seen each other once, I didnt want any bitterness between us. And we acted like we always have, there was lots of cuddles ect. We had a ball. AFterwards I told him that seeing each other again soon wouldnt be a good idea cos it hurt to see him drive away. I asked him if he knew how he feels about me. He replied with I love you, I love everything about you. Enter confusion and more heartbreak! I know we can work things out and be great together but in this stage of his life its better for him if we are apart, apparently. Anyway, new years eve, my drink got spiked. I panicked and immediately contact him. He was very worried and was constantly sending me messages to see where I was and was out of his mind worrying. I couldnt get back to him much because I didnt have any reception. Then the next day we talked and I apologised for making him worry and getting him involved. I felt bad. He then said, Ill come over and make sure you are ok tonight. He didnt come, sent me a text saying it was late and he was heading straight home. Fair enough, but I was hurt by this. WHy say you will turn up for whatver reason and then dont! He sent me a text saying "catch up next week?" I didnt reply. Since I have deleted him from my buddy list and am not willing to talk to him if he decides to call. I know this may be out of anger, but Im hurtiing so badly. I would love another chance with him, I am so in love Please help, I dont know what to do!!!! Thanks for reading Link to post Share on other sites
lipglossboost Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 If you love him, don't shut him out, it will only confuse him more. Try taking two steps back and a half-step forward instead of running away for good. It may yet work out in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Trying to keep contact with someone who doesn't want that contact....is a dead end. You've made the right decision to back way off and give the relationship the space it needs. There is no way of knowing if he will come back to you or not. Sometimes, love is just crappy that way. In the beginning, it's such a hard thing to go thru. All the memories, questions and that big void in your life....faid with time only. Allow yourself a grieving period....post....hang out with friends....find some new things to occupy your time. (Hint: Try to stay away from alcohol....it's lethal with a broken heart. Keep your head clear.) At this point, you may not feel you will survive the hurt....but you will. Many of us have been there....and have went on to have wonderful lives. Hang in there Sweetie!!! Arabess Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovehurts Posted January 2, 2004 Author Share Posted January 2, 2004 Thanks for your advice. I really appreciate it. I do love him and decided I would just reply to that question he asked. I know how much it sucks to be ignored by someone so I just said, "Im down your way in a few weeks, so maybe then". I wont see him, I wont contact him again I just felt terrible doing that to someone. Although he has done it to me a lot!!! I dont want there to be bitterness between us. DO you think that it was ok??? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 The truth is...if the relationship is over in his heart....it won't matter if you contact him or not. It's the 'trying to rationalize' what you could do to bring the whole thing back together which will drive your nuts. We had a thread on 'closure' awhile back.....you may want to look it up and read it. The reason for avoiding contact is for YOUR sanity.....and to help YOU move on. When you contact him...either two things will happen: 1. He'll contact you back and you'll gain a false hope. 2. He won't contact you back and you'll be miserable all over again. That's why I said it was a dead end deal. All you can do... is do what you have to do.... to get to the other side of it. Sometimes, just a little dash of anger (maybe not directed at him but at the way the relationship ended) will actually help you thru the whole 'getting over it' process. When I went thru something similar....I found that anger actually gave me the power to fight the pain. At least I had a little control over my feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
lipglossboost Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Good thinking ... it's laid back, but not cutting him off ... no pressure, no grudges. Very cool. Link to post Share on other sites
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