longlegzs80 Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 I was at a party last night for NEW YEARS at a friends house and as I watching people makeout and boyfriends and girlfriends makingout, and as watching the ball drop, I figured this was going to be another year of being single I can just feel it. What do you suggest I do about this negativity? Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Did you read Darkangelism? You guys in you're early 20's agonising over being alone the rest of your lives! Wait 30 years, then we'll talk agony! It sounds like you've been educated to do what you love, but doubt you'll find soulmates at the pizza joint. Begin doing more pro-bono graphic design for the many charitable NYC organizations and meet wealthy (handsome?) philanthropists. Don't let the season get you down! It'll be over soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted January 2, 2004 Author Share Posted January 2, 2004 SEe you don't seem to understand. I am 22 and will be 23 in afew months if I am lucky, but I have not dated since 17, which gives me the feeling like I will never be wanted by no one and always be lonely. Sometimes I do go out, but I don't meet people very well or if I do they end up saying negative nasty stuff to me to bring down my self esteem even more. I hope I don't go through life being single, but I just want to get ride of this negativity with always thinking I will be single. My luck has not been too great so far as that is why I am so negative about it. Oh, I did read DARKANGELISM thread. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 My dad didn't find the love of his life until his mid-fifties. Never give up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted January 2, 2004 Author Share Posted January 2, 2004 I won't give up, but it would just be nice to find a decent guy. But I will get out more this year and try to meet new people. Maybe I might have some luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Agreed that you have never dated during your adult life, and that this does add more than a little to your pessimism (depression?). will be 23 in afew months if I am lucky Within the context of your recent threads and posts, this could be interpreted to be more than just dark humor, but that's how I'll read it. Obviously, I was hoping that reading DARKANGELISM would act as evidence that you're not alone, but I'm sure that misery loving company is not what you're after. Within a separate thread you mentioned that you really didn't care what others thought about you, yet here you say: they end up saying negative nasty stuff to me to bring down my self esteem even more. Apparently, you do care when other's express themselves, at least when it is negative Do you think it could be that you're not acknowledging other's when they have positive things to say? I've found this to be an extraordinarily common phenomena among people, including myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted January 2, 2004 Moderators Share Posted January 2, 2004 So many ladies and nobody for Curt, So tempting his senses, like sensual desserts, Wriggling and giggling in cute little skirts, Hearts like angels, driving him berserk? He looks at the clock and it ticks past the two, Takes the big tissues and cries boo hoo hoo hoo, Finding no chocolate on which he could chew, Settles for bread rolls and a yummy home stew. His heart grows bigger, his mind goes fuzzy, And generally he starts to feel quite awful and crummy. He slips into bed, the blankets he cuddles, And hopes for the new year to climb out of the rubble. CD Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Almost hard to forgive, there, Curt! Seems to me that, when last heard from, you were harbouring a fairly strong torch for an unaccessible lady which would make you not exactly 'in the market', as it were. Has that situation changed? Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted January 2, 2004 Moderators Share Posted January 2, 2004 LMAO... In reference to that...the torch is out...SO... Roll up Roll up...We have some FANTASTIC SPECIALS today.. OOOH mercy... I think it's my mind that I'm gonna miss the most. Curt Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Geez, Curt. You missed the boat, there. Did you see the post where Jenny announced her engagement? Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Another thread, derailed and blown to hell: Oh well Oh, daytime hustler, you better look away. Because I won't play your game no more. No, no more, no. You spend all of your money on those other women who are blind enough to buy your shame. All your sha-a-a-a-a-ame, oh, oh, oh. G'night folks. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted January 2, 2004 Moderators Share Posted January 2, 2004 [font=times new roman][color=red]Geez, Curt. You missed the boat, there. Did you see the post where Jenny announced her engagement?[/color][/font] Say WHAT Moimeme? Reference to post req'd. Curt Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Voilà http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=144304#post144304 Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted January 2, 2004 Moderators Share Posted January 2, 2004 Thanks for the reference Moimeme! and [color=red]CONGRATULATIONS JENNY!!![/color] You're an intelligent, romantic, and caring lady. I'm so glad you found true love. Sounds like you both have good heads on your shoulders. My very best to you and your beau. XOXOXOX Curt Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 ah..welcome to the singles club. I have dated, but I guarantee I am not in a much better position than you! However, I think we just have to play the waiting game..as everybody says..our time will come...unfortunately I am one of the most impatient people ever! Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 In my thread they tell me to look at yours...and in yours they say to look in mine. Maybe the community is trying to give us a *Cough* HINT. Maybe we should take their advise...I am up for talking to you, are you? I mean it can't hurt and maybe we can solve both of our problems at the same time. Tell me what you think. Link to post Share on other sites
InmanRoshi Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 I've been in your shoes. In a way, I still am in your shoes. About 4 years ago on a New Year's Eve, it hit me right square between the that I hadn't even gone on a date in the 4 years. I was 24, and it dawned on me that there was a better than zero chance I might not ever find someone. I had a college degree, but I didn't find the satisfaction in my career that I thought I would in college. I felt like my college degree was a waste. All of my other guy friends were either heavily dating or getting married. I don't believe that we are entitled to anything in life, so why should I delude myself into believing that I'm entitled to a "special someone". I have an uncle who is about as good of a guy as I've ever known, who is 57 years old, and has never had a girlfriend (that anyone in my family knows of). Its unlikely that he'll ever get married. I tend to view life as one big bell curve, and its not unreasonable given my behavour and results that I might be on the ass-end of the love bell curve, with my uncle. So, then I was at a crux.... so what would I do if I never found anyone. Will my life just be one gigantic waste? I felt so unfullfilled. My life consisted of sitting around on my ass waiting for my lucky break. Part of that unfullfillment is realizing that I wasn't pulling my weight in this world. I was a parasitic person. I took from the world, but I never gave anything back... because I was too busy looking for the miracle to come around the bend. So then I just thought "To hell with it ... even if I don't find any value in my life, maybe someone else can find value in it." So I started focusing on volunteering at local charities, with the idea that I was going to leave this world a better place than I found it ( A world I was very dissatisfied with). I volunteered for Big Brothers/Big Sisters (even though I couldn't possibly dream of what *I* could possibly have to offer anyone). Meals on Wheels during my lunch hours. And to be honest with you, I thought I was absolutely going to hate it. And maybe I did at first. Maybe at first it was a viewed as a "sacrifice" in the beginning. But it stopped being that after a while. After a while, I noticed that the people I was helping were GENUINELY happy to see me every day ... and what a breath of fresh air to have that feeling !! When you feel isolated and alone, it feels so good to have a lady give you a hug when you bring her lunch., or when a lonely 15 year old boy's face lights up when you show up to take him to play miniature golf. And then I just wanted to do more, and I have. And somewhere along the way ... I don't know when ... I discovered that I actually had some *meaning* back into my life again. I was recently awarded a honor for my volunteer work, and standing in front of those peope accepting that award, it dawned on me "Wow, people really are going to miss me when I'm gone." And that troubled boy I took to play miniature golf with 4 years ago recently graduated from high school and is attending his first semester of college, and I was there at his graduation and he walked up and hugged me with tears in his eyes and thanked me for being there the past 4 years. And at least I always have that to fall back on. Living proof that my life wasn't a total waste. I still work a job I'm unsatisfied with. I still don't have dates. I'm still clinically depressed. But I believe life is worth fighting for. I have something worth fighting for, even if it isn't the perfect job or a girlfriend to come home to. There's value to be had in this world, by conventional or unconventional means, if you look for it. Longlegz, I've seen your posts on this board .. I relate with a lot of it, but some of it I don't. You have such gifts of intelligence and compassion. Those gifts are needed in this world. But you don't volunteer to give them ... you horde them to yourself by waiting for someone to ask them of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 InmanRoshi, Darkangelism The quality of your heartfelt posts is appreciated and hope Longlegs is reading and listening. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 lol - just caught this one - thank you so much Curt, and moi and quank cindy, and thinkalot as well from other thread. i'm feeling very insensitive to be talking about this in a singles thread in my defense, i've put in a long time with loneliness too . weirdly, it all happened once i was pretty happy by myself. now i just have to make myself more worthy of him and us as a couple - hurray for classes! Curt - i think we all agree that you are one of the finest catches to be walking these threads; i'm so happy to hear that you're moving on! i hear moi might be looking for a respectful-talking, waltzing, teacher-cum-poet type over here in BC! Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted January 2, 2004 Moderators Share Posted January 2, 2004 Thanks Jenny, You are, and deserve the best. I wish you both loads of happiness and love. Curt Link to post Share on other sites
midlifecrisis Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Reading InmanRoshi's post brings out what I feel is a major key to success in personal relations. Mind-you, it took me *lots* of years to figure this out (I'm a late bloomer), and I'm still no expert.... but -- learning how to be happy and fullfilled on your own almost always causes others to be attracted to you. I've heard so many stories that go something like this: "Lonly and depressed about relationships -- I decided to just give up on it all and focus on my hobby/charities/family/etc -- I became happier in life -- and guess what? I just met someone!" Sure... some people will find a partner faster -- they take more risks, and get themselves out there -- It wasn't until I got to my mid-30's did I feel confident enough to do that, and yes -- it works -- but I am *not* aggressive about it -- and I have found that I don't need to be! Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted January 3, 2004 Author Share Posted January 3, 2004 Thank you so much MIDLIFE for the advice. Doing things and getting out is something I totally need to do. I really hope I am not a late bloomer when it comes to finding someone who is willing to date me. But, I really need to focus on myself and get myself situated. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts