funkybabe_6969 Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 I've just found this web page and it looks a good site. Im 19 and id been with my bf for a year a half, when i met him i wasnt in a good emotional state and he hlped me through sum really tough times. A lot of my friends at college at the time didnt like him, and so i ended up losing them, but he was always my rock of support. when my gdad died suddenly 4 months ago, he was there like a shot - in short, ive never known anyone like him before. Then he dumped me two days after xmas Im devastated. It hadnt been going well. I go away to Uni and so our relationship became a bit long distance, although i was home nearly every single weekend to be with him, but we hit a rough patch at the end of september, i decided to ask for some space to try to save the relationship, it was an awful six weeks without him and i was relieved when we got back together about 5 weeks ago. Thigns were going so well.. On xmas eve i spent it with all his family, he brought me lovel presents and then on boxing day i get a phone call and its all over. He said he wanted to be single he felt too young to settle down (even though we were getting engaged in June this year) and he wanted to be with his mates more. I know logically, it couldnt have worked, he did the best thing by ending it. But i just feel soooo empty and lost. His family and mine are close and his mum still wants me in their lives, even if i cant be in his. My friends reckon he was cheating on me - on xmas eve he loved me, on boxing day he didnt. I didnt speak to him until 2day after boxing day and he sent me a text today saying he doesnt love me anymore. I feel so empty without him. all my mates r in relationships, and they r great, but they dont really understand. My ex wasnt just my bf but my best friend in the whole world. Im trying to stay strong and go out and have a good time, but some days i cant even get out of bed. I keep imagining him with another girl and i know hell never tell me he loves me again, How do i get through this???? please, please, please, please, help! Link to post Share on other sites
lovehurts Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Im very sorry to hear about this. I know how you feel. Its devastating I know. It gets better. I promise!!! Read my post, it looks like we are going through a similar situation. I dont know what to tell you to help you. But, it has gotten better for me after a few weeks. Just do whatever you want, if you want to laze around all day watching the tv do it!!! If you want to go out and drown your sorrows in beer, do that!!!! People always say keep busy to keep your mind off it but I think we all know that no matter what you do you cant stop thinking about it. So just do whatever feels right. Sites like these are fantastic, there are so many caring and thoughtful people in the same position as you to help you through it with their advice. Hang in there sweetie. Chin up!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
confuuuuused Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one. I got dumped today. My guess is your bf like my gf didn't want to wreck your Christmas, though boxing day is cutting it pretty close! Probably loads of people right now are in the same crappy situation. The only thing I can suggest is what I'm gonna do, hang out with my mates, get some new interests, not focus on finding someone else right away becuase there's no rush (especially at your age and I don;t mean to sound patronising!). Hardly any of my mates who were in relationships at 19 are with those same peope now (age 28). Depressing maybe but true. And from what I've read on thses posts, above all else, donl;t look back, look ahead Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Damn right look ahead! If he sends you another email answer him and tell him to quit contacting you and that you are relieved that it is over and you don't have to pretend anymore or feel sorry for him anymore. Tell him "it's over so get over it, I have." and then move on. Let him wonder what you meant about feeling sorry for him, or being relieved, etc. chin up - it gets beyond better. Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 girl, i know what yr goin thru! my boyfriend just dumped me over AIM! he said that he just wanted to be singler right now. and listen to this at lunch today he sits with this really skanky girl that i hate and he flirts with her so much. i talked to this girl in the hall and she said that she didnt like him, but i know she does. he walked my her and he was like HEY SOPIA in a voice that said i want u, and she answered back HEY MATTIE BABY in a voice that said i want u too take me now! i know what yr goin thru. we just need to hang on and be strong! i think that after a few weeks, then we will fell better. here is some advice. if you want to do something than do it and dont worry about anything anyone else thinks. u r u and u know it! we dont need a man to run out lives. i am 15 years old and im going thru love problems that 30 year old women have to go thru. have simpathy for me and ill have some for u. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetbilly Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 there are times in life when we all hurt, Iknow what you're going through, even though i'm a man, we have feelings too! and i've been dumped as well, and i can say, with some assurity, sometimes it's for the best! You wouldn't want to be with a guy that does'nt want to be with you, right? after all, the day would come when he gets tired and cheats on you, or tells you he doesn't want to be with you anymore, and if you've put years into the relationship you can't get them back, so some times things are for the best! Trust me, The worst is when he loves you too, I mean, it really sucks when you love a woman, she loves you and you're 1000 miles away from her, and holding her is only a dream for you; this can make you a calloused person! then trying to carry on with any relationship becomes work instead of a pleasurable experience. Link to post Share on other sites
pinkroses Posted January 29, 2004 Share Posted January 29, 2004 makes a good point, about when relationships become more work than enjoyment. That's how my last two relationships were. A little happiness seemed to come with a more than generous amount of pain, on a consistant basis. When a relationship takes away from your peace of mind, self esteem and general well-being, it's time to do some serious soul-searching. I tend to ignore these signs and just keep trying, but it never works. When you're miserable, something isn't right. Love shouldn't be that difficult. I'd like to recommend a book, it's called Letting Go, by Dr. Zev Wanderer and Tracy Cabot, Phd. It's got excellent help for overcoming a broken heart. Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted January 29, 2004 Share Posted January 29, 2004 Ok girl i got the same words from my bf "im not ready for commitment" , "i need to knwo what its like to be with soemone else to know if i truly love you" and he even said "i dont love you anymore"...all this HURTS !! ! ! ! we ended up braking up and ii think it was the best thing even though the hardest....HE brokle up with me, i would call himand text him to make things work out but he just ignored it ALL, finally a week later i gave up, i stopped calling him, stopped trying to see him, and just stopped!!, i instead focused on me, went to the gym, read books (why men love bitches, by sherry argov), and just did as much to get him off my mind, either way he was still my mind practically every minute-second of the day!! But once i did this..by the fourth week when i was already feeling OKay without him and my tears had stopped thats when HE contacted me.....he told me he was sorry but i still was resistant, i told him that i was a different person and that i was no longer the emotional girl i was, we talked again and finally a week later we got back together, i still was a lil cold with him but slowly hes made it up to me, now 3 months later after that....we are now doing really good, we fight but not as much anymore, adn now hes more sweet and caring, and im feeling more good with him..... let him go he will see what its like without u...and if he really doesnt love u thern he might not come back but hey its better for YOU!!!! i know its hard!!! but u gotta think about ureself right now! i wish u luck, be strong and read that book, it helps LOTS!!!!!!!! give him the space he wants! ignore em! Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted January 29, 2004 Share Posted January 29, 2004 the best revenge is to LOOK HAPPY, and act as if YOU ARE STRONG AND u can do it ALONe and that u dont need him, MEN LOVE SECURE WOMEN who they can chase around..weird but true Link to post Share on other sites
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