Back again, sadly.

[live2demo3k]

Here I am again, sadly.

 

I posted about a month ago was the last time I think, my girlfriend and I of about a year, broke up a little over 2 months ago. I came on here for advice when we first broke up and eventually she and I started to hang out again, about 3 weeks ago. We started spending a few nights a week hanging out together, then she started staying the night over here again, and then I went over there this last Sunday after I hadn't seen her for a few days, and as soon as I get there she gets on the phone and it bugged me a little, I over-reacted about it just letting it get to me. She says I was being stupid and so I go and just lay down on the couch, well I was ignoring her just trying to let it blow over and she got mad, so I called her into the other room to talk. I said I was sorry and she said that this just isn't going to work. We were in the process of "getting back together" and she had been all about it and then all of a sudden again, she just stops it. No more kissing, no more staying the night, no more of that she says. I broke down, what else was I supposed to, I was hurt so bad when we first broke up but I finally was happy again and thought hey, stuff is going to get better, and then she decides no, just like that. Ever since then everytime we talk, we just fight, she is supposed to come over and stay the night again Saturday night, so she says, and we're going to talk about stuff. I just don't know what to do anymore, we were so close to being back together I could taste it, and I was so happy, and then it just all fell apart. I want to talk to her and figure out what she's really thinking and maybe convince her to keep giving it a shot, but then again another part of me says just to tell her that I can't do this anymore, when she is sure she wants to get back together, I'm here but I can't do it like this anymore.

 

The reason we broke up is because she said she needed space and freedom, she still talks about us moving into together and getting a house someday, still excited about having a kid someday, so maybe my best plan is to tell her to just take her time and we can figure this out when shes ready. I think me and her both know that in the end we want to be together, she just isn't ready for it right now, who knows.

[amerikajin]

>>>after I hadn't seen her for a few days, and as soon as I get there she gets on the phone and it bugged me a little, I over-reacted about it just letting it get to me. She says I was being stupid and so I go and just lay down on the couch, well I was ignoring her just trying to let it blow over and she got mad, so I called her into the other room to talk. I said I was sorry and she said that this just isn't going to work<<<

 

I'm certainly not in a position to decide who's right or wrong in this relationship, but based on what you've told us, I'm wondering if there aren't issues in your relationship. By "overreacted", what exactly do you mean? Do you have to have her 100 percent undivided attention all of the time??? I think what you have to do here is take a good hard look at what has happened in your relationship. Make sure you listen to whatever criticisms she's filed against you in the past and determine why she was so critical. Maybe she's being hypercritical herself...I don't know, and again, I'm not saying you're wrong here. But it seems like she perceives there to be a problem with your ability to control your moods and emotions, and it's bugging her.

 

Of course, it could be that she's an insensitive b!tch, too. That's the other possibility, in which case, you don't need to put up with her a moment more.

 

I'll tell you one thing, though: you're headed for heartbreak if you start making assumptions about the future. From the looks of things, whether "you know you both want to be together or not", I'd say the future's very much in doubt at this hour. Stop trying to be overly optimistic, and think good and hard about yourself and her, and determine what's happening in this relationship. Be honest.