a lover's quarrel

[mifflin90]

hey guys, i need some expert advice. i'll try to keep it as short as possible. basically i have this friend, she is awesome in every way and i am absolutely crazy about her. were not super close friends, we talk fairly often but only hang out once in a while, maybe once a month on average. about 2 months ago i finally told her i wanted take the next step with her and start dating. she told me she was seeing someone (this was news to me) and she doesnt like dating more than one guy at a time (which i totally understand, i probably would have lost all interest in her if she said she does do that), and then she said "but thanks!" (err.. youre welcome?). well, we havent seen each other since that night, weve barely even spoken. ive been trying to avoid the awkwardness. but recently she has been telling me she wants to hang out, so i invited her to my parents super bowl party and she said she would come.

 

so how to i handle this? do i bring it up again and ask her if she's still dating that guy? i really want her to know how much i like her, but i dont want to scare her off and risk losing her friendship. but i cant just sit around and wait for her to come to me. i think about her every single day and it drives me insane. and this isnt some small crush or phase, ive felt this way for at least 6 or 7 months now. the thing is she never said whether or not she liked me, she just said she doesnt want to date more than one guy at a time. so thats the thing im most confused about. any advice would be great. thanks

[Left in a Lurch]

I wonder if she might show up with her bf and that would tell you pretty much where you stand.

 

The other option is she shows up without her bf and makes me wonder if she was nicely rejecting you by saying she had a bf. If she had a bf, I would think it's kind of odd if she comes alone to hang out with you and I would suspect the bf was made up.

[mifflin90]

while it's possible, i really doubt she made him up. girls usually save that trick for random strangers who hit on them at bars, not good friends. though i do admit it's odd i had never heard about him, but then again maybe they had just started going out when we had this conversation. if he is in fact real, and theyre still going out i dont think she would bring him without asking me first. considering she knows im interested in her, and bringing him would potentially make an awkward situation.

[whichwayisup]

Don't hang out with her. Sorry but since she is seeing someone and you like her, it's going to be really hard for you to be 'just friends.' Back off and just let her know that you need space and since she now is dating someone, it isn't cool to hang out anymore.

[mifflin90]

well, im not going to uninvite her. but if it turns out she is still seeing this guy and/or she flat out tells me she's not interested in me as more than friends i probably will try not to hang out as much. there's another girl im semi-interested in who i am almost positive is interested in me that i could pursue. so hopefully that would help take my mind off the first girl and maybe even turn into something really great. thanks for the advice.