nrmommie Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 after reading several posts on here, i see that i am very lucky in that i get to see my bf every weekend so far. he is only 2 hours away. we met online and met in person on christmas. i know that an ldr is not the best thing for me. i knew this before i met him, and in fact i didn't want to meet him, and only agreed because i wanted to find something wrong with him and move on. but instead i have discovered that i am suppose to be with him. i know that god put him in my life in answer to my prayers, but of course it cant be easy. i am 41 years old, out of an 18 year marriage almost 3 years now. i have never been loved. i gave up on that in my marriage a long time ago. my ex would tell me he didn't love me. and some times he would say he loved me. my last boyfriend wanted to love me, but couldn't get over his divorce enough to let it go. i have met other guys who have told me how great i am and on and on, only to have them flake out on me because they werent over someone or actually go back to exes. (yes this has happened more than once!) that was fine, they weren't for me. but i now have very little trust when i guy says he likes me, or shows me he cares. because i have heard it before. in five weeks i have not had a week where i haven't lost it by wednesday or thursday, sure that he doesn't like me, that he has changed his mind. we don't get to talk on the phone much because of our schedules. so it is texting and instant messages, and sometimes email. all things that i seem to be very good at reading into in ways that are not good. when i am with him, i have absolutely no doubt that he is into me. i don't think he is seeing anyone else. he sends me the sweetest texts sometimes. he says things that just melt me. its the inbetween times, during the week that i just cant seem to deal. i am becoming one of those horrid needy women that needs constant reasurance and attention. i cannot stand it! i am trying so hard to not let him know that i get like this. i have some friends i talk to who "talk me down", keep me from losing it. this past weekend we really connected and i left feeling like i knew he loved me (we have not said it yet, but god, i feel it) i thought this will be the week i get through without a melt down. but i had bad news about an aunt with cancer today, and now i am a mess again. reading into his texts, or lack there of. he is military, intel. is days are crazy. he always takes time to text, but he has very little of it, and i know this. but it doesn't stop me from deciding he is just not texting me because i said something wrong, or he has figured out, like the rest, that i am just not worth it. i don't know how those of you who go for months do it.... i really dont! Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 You sound as though you could benefit a great deal from some personal counselling. Everyone has insecurities that flare up from time to time but it sounds like you have a lot of personal issues to resolve and work through within yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Romance Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Well, most of us cannot see our SO every single weekend, so if we worried for weeks on end about 'will he still like me next time we see each other?' we would not be very happy people. be confident. I know my boyfriend loves and adores me, even when we're not together. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts