I think I am ready to open up to my wife.

[Woggle]

You are newlyweds so of course this is what you do. The real test will be if you sustain this.

 

I love my wife but I refuse to be one of these men who has no idea how much my wife hates me. She came that much closer to proving she loves me this past week.

[sally4sara]

You are newlyweds so of course this is what you do. The real test will be if you sustain this.

 

I love my wife but I refuse to be one of these men who has no idea how much my wife hates me. She came that much closer to proving she loves me this past week.

 

Sorry but no wogs. You don't get to turn back the clock for us. Life together happened long before we married and life is continuing much in the same way as before. We didn't get married to see if the other loved us enough; we already knew it was enough.

 

Love isn't built on what you snoop out of her online activity.

[Woggle]

Sorry but no wogs. You don't get to turn back the clock for us. Life together happened long before we married and life is continuing much in the same way as before. We didn't get married to see if the other loved us enough; we already knew it was enough.

 

Love isn't built on what you snoop out of her online activity.

 

That piece of papers carries a lot of baggage.

[sally4sara]

That piece of papers carries a lot of baggage.

 

Didn't feel weighty to me , but then I entered into marriage with my whole heart rather than like a scared rabbit expecting to get squashed or a need to drag any bad feelings from the past in with me.

 

I can't stand most of what you post, but I still really wish you knew the life others know. You'd feel more at ease and be able to enjoy the love you've been getting from your wife.

 

If you're going to be so convinced and, as you say, want to teach others your "truth", you could just tell her what you post on here and finally have it out in the open. If she walks, then you're at least on to something. But you're too scared for anything like that.

 

I hope one day you get to know a life without that toxic fear you carry around.

[Woggle]

Didn't feel weighty to me , but then I entered into marriage with my whole heart rather than like a scared rabbit expecting to get squashed or a need to drag any bad feelings from the past in with me.

 

I can't stand most of what you post, but I still really wish you knew the life others know. You'd feel more at ease and be able to enjoy the love you've been getting from your wife.

 

If you're going to be so convinced and, as you say, want to teach others your "truth", you could just tell her what you post on here and finally have it out in the open. If she walks, then you're at least on to something. But you're too scared for anything like that.

 

I hope one day you get to know a life without that toxic fear you carry around.

 

I find that hard to believe when I look at some of your views on gender issues that you don't carry any of that resentment into your marriage.

[whichwayisup]

She came that much closer to proving she loves me this past week.

 

God Wog, she MARRIED you!! Of course she LOVES you!

 

Is your whole marriage going to be like this? Her continually having to jump through hoops, to prove her love for you? To have her reassurance daily, weekly, monthly, yearly..Sooner or later you HAVE to trust her, trust that she loves you. If you can't do this, then your marriage is not going to grow, it'll be at a stand-still.

 

Is she aware that you do this, or is all this kept inside? This is the stuff you have to talk to her about, otherwise you may end up walking away from her because you constantly doubt her, mistrust her.

[Woggle]

God Wog, she MARRIED you!! Of course she LOVES you!

 

Is your whole marriage going to be like this? Her continually having to jump through hoops, to prove her love for you? To have her reassurance daily, weekly, monthly, yearly..Sooner or later you HAVE to trust her, trust that she loves you. If you can't do this, then your marriage is not going to grow, it'll be at a stand-still.

 

Is she aware that you do this, or is all this kept inside? This is the stuff you have to talk to her about, otherwise you may end up walking away from her because you constantly doubt her, mistrust her.

 

I am starting to see that the number one most successful way for a man to maintain a woman's attraction is to keep her constantly working for his approval and affection. Let her get it every now and then but never let her take it for granted.

[whichwayisup]

Your marriage is going to be tiresome if this is the case. Sooner or later there has to be an even flow. Compromise and giving, taking that is equal.

 

Wog, you made so much progess in the past, and you've slipped. Constantly posting negative stuff again, men vs women, etc..etc..

 

I really just wish you'd focus on the good stuff, and not let the bad stuff in life around you, negative situations that others are in affect you so deeply.

 

Also hope you consider going back to therapy. Learn to just stay in the NOW and enjoy life as it comes, instead of waiting for something bad to happen.

[Woggle]

Show me a better way to keep her from cheating or leaving me.

[whichwayisup]

Show me a better way to keep her from cheating or leaving me.

 

By loving her, and learning to have faith in her. By spending time with one another and living in the moment. Not to make her PROVE to you that she is trustworthy, that should be a given seeing as she has done NOTHING to deserve to be mistrusted. You know you've married a good woman, a woman who won't cheat on you. She knows how you are, I'm sure if she was unhappy, she would COMMUNICATE with you, sort it out with you and not hide it from you, and turn to someone else. Trust, faith wogs..

 

Sept 11 is proof enough that for some there may not BE a tomorrow. Live for today, hope for tomorrow and make the best out of it.

[Woggle]

By loving her, and learning to have faith in her. By spending time with one another and living in the moment. Not to make her PROVE to you that she is trustworthy, that should be a given seeing as she has done NOTHING to deserve to be mistrusted. You know you've married a good woman, a woman who won't cheat on you. She knows how you are, I'm sure if she was unhappy, she would COMMUNICATE with you, sort it out with you and not hide it from you, and turn to someone else. Trust, faith wogs..

 

Sept 11 is proof enough that for some there may not BE a tomorrow. Live for today, hope for tomorrow and make the best out of it.

 

How many women truly do appreciate when a man does that though? Look at the many men on this board who do that and look where it gets them.

[whichwayisup]

See my point. WHO cares about who posts what on LS. It's a fraction of the world. Not even, probably less. tiny so tiny..

 

You need to learn to shut off stuff that people post about, and be thankful for what you have in your life. Not let it taint you, make you have more doubts!

 

Wogs, I know you've been through alot of bad stuff in your life, but you can't keep doing this, going over it all again and again.. Gotta let go and focus on the good, not worry so much about the 'what ifs'.

[sally4sara]

How many women truly do appreciate when a man does that though? Look at the many men on this board who do that and look where it gets them.

 

Look at the women who have already posted that they truly do appreciate their men for those very reasons instead of pretending they're making it up. You gotta want to change or you never will. Till you do, you will just stay thei scared rabbit peering through the bars of your own prison while other people manage to move away from the bad things that they experienced and onto loving, happy relationships. Its not like we're going to have bad marriages just to prop up your fears. Why not join us and find out what a life without fear it all about?

[Woggle]

Look at the women who have already posted that they truly do appreciate their men for those very reasons instead of pretending they're making it up. You gotta want to change or you never will. Till you do, you will just stay thei scared rabbit peering through the bars of your own prison while other people manage to move away from the bad things that they experienced and onto loving, happy relationships. Its not like we're going to have bad marriages just to prop up your fears. Why not join us and find out what a life without fear it all about?

 

They say they like men who do it but how many show their appreciation through actions? I was telling my female coworkers about what I did on our snow day and they thought it was boring and too stepford which was their exact words.

[sally4sara]

They say they like men who do it but how many show their appreciation through actions? I was telling my female coworkers about what I did on our snow day and they thought it was boring and too stepford which was their exact words.

 

You should stop bothering with those two women at your work. I suspect they say most of what they say because they can tell it gets you worked up.

[Woggle]

You should stop bothering with those two women at your work. I suspect they say most of what they say because they can tell it gets you worked up.

 

No they really mean it and even many women there can't stand them.

[sally4sara]

No they really mean it and even many women there can't stand them.

 

So why not ask one of the women who can't stand them to find out if they tell you things to piss you off? Or are you worried about losing them as the main tools of affirmation you use to keep believing your own fears that keep your guard up? So far as I can tell, every bit of info that defies your beliefs, you hold up these two as shields against any validity used to try and help you find a new positive direction. Its like they are your exOW and you won't leave the job to save your marriage. Stop making them so important in your life - they don't deserve to carry so much weight in your day to day. You think about them more than I think about coworkers I like.

[Woggle]

So why not ask one of the women who can't stand them to find out if they tell you things to piss you off? Or are you worried about losing them as the main tools of affirmation you use to keep believing your own fears that keep your guard up? So far as I can tell, every bit of info that defies your beliefs, you hold up these two as shields against any validity used to try and help you find a new positive direction. Its like they are your exOW and you won't leave the job to save your marriage. Stop making them so important in your life - they don't deserve to carry so much weight in your day to day. You think about them more than I think about coworkers I like.

 

Because I think they what most women really feel. I read the book Women's Infidelity and it was a big eye opener that touches on this same subject.

[sally4sara]

Because I think they what most women really feel. I read the book Women's Infidelity and it was a big eye opener that touches on this same subject.

 

Well we already know what you think isn't often reliant on logic or proof.

 

And I am just rolling over here imagining you in Borders perusing the aisles with your big bad copy of Women's Infidelity. Your brow all twisted up in a frenzy while you obliviously walk by all the books about male infidelity.......:lmao::lmao:

[Woggle]

Well we already know what you think isn't often reliant on logic or proof.

 

And I am just rolling over here imagining you in Borders perusing the aisles with your big bad copy of Women's Infidelity. Your brow all twisted up in a frenzy while you obliviously walk by all the books about male infidelity.......:lmao::lmao:

 

I ordered it online and I ordered a copy for my friend who is about to get married. Every man about to get married should read this book but he is quite mad at me for giving it to him.

[sally4sara]

I ordered it online and I ordered a copy for my friend who is about to get married. Every man about to get married should read this book but he is quite mad at me for giving it to him.

 

I'll bet. It let him know you don't support his happiness and will only be a negative influence. Like that one friend of yours. Maybe you should do the friend you bought the book for a favor and hit on his wife.

No wonder you never see good marriages. Any of your friends who have love don't want you darkening their warm door.

[Woggle]

I'll bet. It let him know you don't support his happiness and will only be a negative influence. Like that one friend of yours. Maybe you should do the friend you bought the book for a favor and hit on his wife.

No wonder you never see good marriages. Any of your friends who have love don't want you darkening their warm door.

 

I feel he is making a big mistake but he doesn't want to see it.

 

Be honest how would you react to a female version of me? I am just curious.

[Tony]

If I thought this post could go somewhere and be helpful, I would leave it open. However, members are consuming it with outlandish thoughts and analysis that goes nowhere. Thank you for participating in the thread. It's time to close it up now!