Sex Without Emotion for Women - Is it possible?

[SilkRose]

Seems like certain male posters to this thread are angered by the fact that so many men make themselves so easily available to women for casual sex, there's a vibe of jealousy going on. But finding a man who is good for whatever purpose, in this case casual (occasional e.g. bi-annual or annual) sex is still a challenge as I am only attracted to certain men and have lots to consider. So it's not that easy, but perhaps it would be harder for a man who wanted the same thing, then again that depends on the man and his options.

[stillafool]

Securing a relationship or marriage are not the subject of this thread.

 

 

This is what he doesn't seem to get.

[SilkRose]

Having said that all this game playing that certain posters are describing does work both ways, men do the same things. There are with two cellphones which serves this purpose...game playing

 

That's what I intend to avoid by having my sexual desires fulfilled, in this casual/occasional way.

[SilkRose]

This is what he doesn't seem to get.

 

LOL! Exactly. Thanks for your comments.

[meerkat stew]

Connie Chaste and Randy Rhonda. LMAO!

Where are these women from...the 70s?

 

Women who share your values are out there, so you are catered for. Men who want casual sex are clearly out there, and in my case perhaps close by so after my long period of celibacy, I may have sex with one of these men. Condoms aren't easily purchased.

 

Securing a relationship or marriage are not the subject of this thread.

 

We are both catered for in this way. You can get what you want, so can I. What's the problem?

 

I can't make one bit of rational sense out of the above reply. It certainly isn't directly responsive to anything I posted, so unable to respond to it.

[SilkRose]

I can't make one bit of rational sense out of the above reply. It certainly isn't directly responsive to anything I posted, so unable to respond to it.

 

No need to be rude, first Jersey now me...how naughty.

[meerkat stew]

You see it works both ways.

 

No, it most certainly doesn't, because men are expected to court women, to spend real MONEY on them, to treat women with deference. Men are expected to protect women, to see to their safety.

 

Women are not expected to court men, to spend real MONEY on them, to treat them with deference. Women are not expected to protect women, to see to their safety.

 

There is the difference. If there were no double standards in dating, the argument that men and women are no different in sexual behavior would be fine. If it were as easy for men to obtain sex as women, comparing the two would indeed be apples and apples instead of apples and oranges, and the comparison would be fine.

 

But by the time a man has found out about the FWBs, the ONS, and the vacillating impulsive transition between good girl and ho as the mood strikes her, he has already spent significant resources in the courtship of a woman who is a master of presenting whatever face she wants to present in the moment, of lying and deceiving in this way fluidly and without any pang of conscience. She takes the money and special treatment blithely as her due, while knowing all along he would never have even asked her out if he knew her true behavior and the height of her inconsistency.

 

Men get tricked like this a few times and then we learn, and the social backlash many women are experiencing is only the tip of the iceberg, going to get much worse before better. I pity women from the younger generations, the ones, who, as far as I can tell, aren't being raised as daddy's little blameless, faultless princess. Men are opting out of their traditional roles -in droves-, as those roles have become so patently slanted that they are intolerable, or at least intolerably risky. Those younger generations of women are going to begin finding how seriously the well was poisoned by their mattress-backed, "you can have it all and still play the good girl with no accountability," privileged forbears, the attitudes of which are evident all over this thread and all over these forums.

[Awesome Username]

I am not really complaining, as I said easy women serve a purpose.. From time to time men need a release. And since women seem to be happy and fullfilled with this men really no longer to do things like marry, pay for dates etc.. Unless of course they find a special woman who cares about who enters their bodies.

 

 

I personally don't do casual sex. I agree with you in that I do think that generally speaking, men and women are different in their thinking in this regard. However, that doesn't mean that men should just go around banging girls that are okay with casual sex if they actually want a woman who isn't. For example, I started liking a guy who liked me back because I was an old-fashioned girl, and found out that he had a friends with benefits situation. Actions are louder than words, and THAT is a double standard.

 

All I'm saying is that if you ultimately want a girl who doesn't like casual sex, then you should probably cut down on the casual sex as well. We are not only picky about what who we sleep with, but also where they have been.

[meerkat stew]

Yes please stop picking on Jersey.

 

Whatever, I'm not the one who started a long rant post by setting up a straw man implying a poster was condoning child molestation. This is a part of the problem too. You saw that line, yet it is somehow OK when a woman spouts crap like that, and I am "picking on her" by calling her out on it. Shift that blame away from the source and back to me, the man.

 

All my fault, all the man's fault. I get it, and QED of my other points here and in other threads. Women are completely blameless and unaccountable for anything they do or say, or that they choose to pull a train one night and play the blushing ingenue the next night when taken out for a nice dinner on a man's dime. I get it.

[stillafool]

No, it most certainly doesn't, because men are expected to court women, to spend real MONEY on them, to treat women with deference. Men are expected to protect women, to see to their safety.

 

Women are not expected to court men, to spend real MONEY on them, to treat them with deference. Women are not expected to protect women, to see to their safety.

 

Women are expected to look pretty for dates. This costs real money too. Men are not protecting us. That went out with wringer washing machines. WTF?

 

 

There is the difference. If there were no double standards in dating, the argument that men and women are no different in sexual behavior would be fine. If it were as easy for men to obtain sex as women, comparing the two would indeed be apples and apples instead of apples and oranges, and the comparison would be fine.

 

It is easy for men to obtain sex. They are the ones banging "girls". They are the ones who seek out prostitutes and anything else they can get to sleep with them.

 

But by the time a man has found out about the FWBs, the ONS, and the vacillating impulsive transition between good girl and ho as the mood strikes her, he has already spent significant resources in the courtship of a woman who is a master of presenting whatever face she wants to present in the moment, of lying and deceiving in this way fluidly and without any pang of conscience. She takes the money and special treatment blithely as her due, while knowing all along he would never have even asked her out if he knew her true behavior and the height of her inconsistency.

 

And, by the time a woman has found out the man she fell for has had FWBs, ONS, and the vacillating impulsive transition between husband material and manwhore as the mood strikes him, she has already spent significant resources on clothes and hair on a fake whose penis has a million stories to tell. If this woman had known his true history she wouldn't have given him a second glance.

 

 

Men get tricked like this a few times and then we learn, and the social backlash many women are experiencing is only the tip of the iceberg, going to get much worse before better.

 

I actually think this is working the other way around. Men have only tasted the tip of the iceberg.

 

 

I pity women from the younger generations, the ones, who, as far as I can tell, aren't being raised as daddy's little blameless, faultless princess. Men are opting out of their traditional roles -in droves-, as those roles have become so patently slanted that they are intolerable, or at least intolerably risky.

 

Again, I think it is the other way around. Women are vastly opting out of traditional roles.

 

Those younger generations of women are going to begin finding how seriously the well was poisoned by their mattress-backed, "you can have it all and still play the good girl with no accountability," privileged forbears, the attitudes of which are evident all over this thread and all over these forums.

 

Or, maybe they will thank them and perhaps will not be judged as harshly for being able to make their own choices.

[meerkat stew]

No need to be rude, first Jersey now me...how naughty.

 

Rude indeed, how dare I expect any particular woman to post coherently and in a responsive fashion! I understand now. That would be like expecting the same kinds of rationality from women that one expects from men, I see the error in that thinking now. :lmao:

 

But must ask, is this double standard due to some privilege women have to engage in rational, logical discussion only when it suits them? or rather that women just don't have the equipment to keep up, so expecting them to do so is unrealistic? Which?

[stillafool]

Whatever, I'm not the one who started a long rant post by setting up a straw man implying a poster was condoning child molestation. This is a part of the problem too. You saw that line, yet it is somehow OK when a woman spouts crap like that, and I am "picking on her" by calling her out on it. Shift that blame away from the source and back to me, the man.

 

All my fault, all the man's fault. I get it, and QED of my other points here and in other threads. Women are completely blameless and unaccountable for anything they do or say, or that they choose to pull a train one night and play the blushing ingenue the next night when taken out for a nice dinner on a man's dime. I get it.

 

 

:lmao::lmao:Stop exaggerating, though that was funny!

 

You guys act like women are talking about having casual sex with anyone they see on the street. That is the same thing as saying gay men want to sleep with every man they see. That is ridiculous. There must be attraction and sexual chemistry.

[rupesh]

indian gumpa with murali

[soserious1]

Let's see, I can get married again or enter a committed relationship in which I'll be expected to not only support myself but possibly also assist in supporting him, I'll be expected to keep up my own car, take turns with shoveling, mowing, yard work and household repair I'll be expected to do the bulk of cooking, cleaning, might be expected to assume stepmother duties. I'll be expected to provide him with sex eagerly and willingly when he wants it.. but to be supportive and accepting when he turns me down in favor of viewing porn. More importantly considering my age, chances are good that a new man would be 60 or approaching it, I would be saddled with the obligation to provide skilled caretaking should he become ill or infirm.

 

I had one marriage end badly, I'm paying a lot of alimony, I've finished supporting and rearing my children and have zero interest in rearing or supporting another set. I'm not interested in/ cannot afford commiting to any relationship which would render me legally or morally obligated to support anyone.

 

There is really nothing in remarriage or a committed relationship for me besides a lot of risks that I cannot afford. Friendly, social, no strings relationships with men in similar situations just works better for me.

[meerkat stew]

Or, maybe they will thank them and perhaps will not be judged as harshly for being able to make their own choices.

 

Men are expected to dress for dates, this costs real money too. Most of the money women spend on hair, nails, clothes, accessories is for their own vanity and has nothing to do with attracting men. Surely you aren't challenged to the extent to think that you made a valid argument there.

 

Comparing the ease with which men and women obtain sex is like comparing how easy it is for a blind man to walk into the woods with a rusty shotgun and kill his dinner to a man who has his dinner cleaned, cooked and provided at table by servants daily. No comparison whatsoever.

 

I keep typing that the courtship and money outlays of men and women are vastly different. Men are expected to court, pay for and protect women. Women are not expected to do these things. You keep ignoring it. Or just lie by saying protecting and seeing to the safety of one's dates is no longer an obligation of men generally in dating, that it went out with wringer washing machines. Nice try, but a lie is a lie. Men are still expected to take care of women, when we don't, there are many threads bemoaining that by women here. If it weren't still expected, women wouldn't stil whine about it.

 

Yes, women are opting out of traditional roles, as daddy and media have told them that they can have it all, can be wholly enslaved by their impulsive emotionality for the entirety of their lives. The difference is that more women than men want families. Men see family life as a tremendous risk these days, and are marrying less and less. Women wake up after having their legs spread for a few decades and whine, "Waaaa waaaa! where's my prince charming? where's my man I need for a family?" and the only answer is silence. Get used to cats ladies, you have earned their long term company, if not ours.

.

[meerkat stew]

:lmao::lmao:Stop exaggerating, though that was funny!

 

You guys act like women are talking about having casual sex with anyone they see on the street. That is the same thing as saying gay men want to sleep with every man they see. That is ridiculous. There must be attraction and sexual chemistry.

 

It's not an exaggerration. We see it every day. I have a friend, whom I recently staid with, who has a literal caravan of women coming to give him BJs. He doesn't take them on dates, he doesn't court them. He just knows how to push their buttons. When they are done, they go right back to their BFs and husbands and put the nice girl mask back on.

 

You are obviously deluded about the average women's sexual habits these days. Women, at least the fat of the bell curve, are every bit as promiscuous as men ever were or have been these days. The only differences are that in the woman's case, it constitutes the sin of gluttony, and in the man's case, it doesn't, and men are not duplicitous about our nature and behaviors, women are.

[soserious1]

Men are expected to dress for dates, this costs real money too. Most of the money women spend on hair, nails, clothes, accessories is for their own vanity and has nothing to do with attracting men. Surely you aren't challenged to the extent to think that you made a valid argument there.

 

Comparing the ease with which men and women obtain sex is like comparing how easy it is for a blind man to walk into the woods with a rusty shotgun and kill his dinner to a man who has his dinner cleaned, cooked and provided at table by servants daily. No comparison whatsoever.

 

I keep typing that the courtship and money outlays of men and women are vastly different. Men are expected to court, pay for and protect women. Women are not expected to do these things. You keep ignoring it. Or just lie by saying protecting and seeing to the safety of one's dates is no longer an obligation of men generally in dating, that it went out with wringer washing machines. Nice try, but a lie is a lie. Men are still expected to take care of women, when we don't, there are many threads bemoaining that by women here. If it weren't still expected, women wouldn't stil whine about it.

 

Yes, women are opting out of traditional roles, as daddy and media have told them that they can have it all, can be wholly enslaved by their impulsive emotionality for the entirety of their lives. The difference is that more women than men want families. Men see family life as a tremendous risk these days, and are marrying less and less. Women wake up after having their legs spread for a few decades and whine, "Waaaa waaaa! where's my prince charming? where's my man I need for a family?" and the only answer is silence. Get used to cats ladies, you have earned their long term company, if not ours.

.

 

 

Actually judging from what I've experienced I'm better off with the cats, they're far more loyal and a lot more useful.

 

As to the rest, as a woman who has made her own way fiscally since I was a teenager I don't see any value to marriage either, I'd much rather "spread my legs" and send him along on his merry way once we're done.

 

So everybody wins, men can keep their wallets firmly closed and they needn't worry their pretty little heads about protecting me, we both get our physical needs met and we move along with our lives.

[meerkat stew]

Actually judging from what I've experienced I'm better off with the cats, they're far more loyal and a lot more useful.

 

Good for you, you can enjoy being a glutton sexually and have your more loyal and useful cats to keep you company. Best of both worlds for you.

[sid3]

Actually judging from what I've experienced I'm better off with the cats, they're far more loyal and a lot more useful.

 

As to the rest, as a woman who has made her own way fiscally since I was a teenager I don't see any value to marriage either, I'd much rather "spread my legs" and send him along on his merry way once we're done.

 

So everybody wins, men can keep their wallets firmly closed and they needn't worry their pretty little heads about protecting me, we both get our physical needs met and we move along with our lives.

 

Wow, that's really sad. You've obviously experienced some really bad things. Some scars just run to deep I guess.

[stillafool]

Men are expected to dress for dates, this costs real money too. Most of the money women spend on hair, nails, clothes, accessories is for their own vanity and has nothing to do with attracting men. Surely you aren't challenged to the extent to think that you made a valid argument there.

 

Meerkat you know men love these things about women. All of this ties into our femininity. Men want us to look good. Besides, most women I know have no problem splitting the bills when they go out with a guy. If they asked him out they will pay for the date.

 

 

I keep typing that the courtship and money outlays of men and women are vastly different. Men are expected to court, pay for and protect women. Women are not expected to do these things. You keep ignoring it. Or just lie by saying protecting and seeing to the safety of one's dates is no longer an obligation of men generally in dating, that it went out with wringer washing machines. Nice try, but a lie is a lie. Men are still expected to take care of women, when we don't, there are many threads bemoaining that by women here. If it weren't still expected, women wouldn't stil whine about it.

 

 

My husband (and God I love him) and I were at my father's farm and the bull got out in the yard. My husband ran in the house so fast, did not even look to see where I was much less try to protect me. Thank God my Dad was there to handle the bull or I probably wouldn't be posting today. Some "Protector". I'd be better off buying a gun.

 

 

Yes, women are opting out of traditional roles, as daddy and media have told them that they can have it all, can be wholly enslaved by their impulsive emotionality for the entirety of their lives. The difference is that more women than men want families. Men see family life as a tremendous risk these days, and are marrying less and less. Women wake up after having their legs spread for a few decades and whine, "Waaaa waaaa! where's my prince charming? where's my man I need for a family?" and the only answer is silence. Get used to cats ladies, you have earned their long term company, if not ours.

.

 

Really? I wonder how long that will last. BTW, I love cats, and dogs.

[Jersey Shortie]

I don't think they are the same. Calling a woman a slut is done because of something she has done. Racial slants usually have nothing to do with what a person has done, but with something that is outside that person's control (like the colour of their skin, etc.).

 

Name calling is name calling. No matter the justification. Who gave you the right to demean another person just because you judged their actions below you? Now, I totally get wanting a more chaste girl. Fine. No problem. You don't want to be with a girl that slept around. more power to you. But when you and other men start throwing around name calling because of it, that's when you make yourself look ridiculous and narrowminded. It's one thing to not agree with someone's actions. It's another to call them names for it. When people do such things they are attempting to shame and belittle another person due to their own insecurties. People don't call other people names out of confidence.

 

 

 

Have read the whole ridiculous thread, not going to reread it. You know good and well what you did there, and you also know good and well the poster was not suggesting or implying sex with children.

 

So you want to blame me but you don't want to do the leg work to back yourself up. Let me help you out so it's not so taxing for you. qoute from Calizaguy:

 

Men will basically try to bang any girl or woman that will let them.. they cannot wait.. They are fantasizing about sex daily, and it is not involving "love" at all.

 

Now, what do you get from that? When a man says "girl or woman", what do you deduct from that? I know what most people would deduct. Now if he said just "girl", that could imply woman. If he just said "woman" , that's even more clear. But he said girl and woman. I'm not 100% what he means but if men are out there banging girls, that's a problem no?

 

 

The problem lies, as it so often does these days, with women who want it all, free casual sex at the same time they are accepting special treatment from men due to an illusion of at least some chastity, a lie, created specifically to derive maximum use from men, "I wanted to get laid on Tuesday, so visited my FWB. On Wednesday, I wanted to feel like a lady, so I let my date take me out for an expensive night on the town. I know he wouldn't even ask me out, let alone pay, if he knew my true sexual behavior, because he is looking for a "nice girl." I'm great at playing the nice girl, so let's just keept that a little secret."

 

Not so cool when women start to play your own game is it. And that's what it is about. Men have lost control and power in the 21 century and don't like that wome nare catching up to them in terms of sexual outlets. Lets think about in history for how long men have been fitting women into seperate catagories on who deserves what and when. Mistresses in one box, wives in another. Girls from porn in one box that can come out to play when he pleases. Wives and gfs in another box that can come out to play when he pleases. Strippers, female co-workers, the woman down the street, the woman who brings him coffee at his favorite diner....the women he meets and takes out to dinner just so he can sleep with her but has no intention of treating her seriously. Now women are playing that game too and it's made your world more rocky and harder to understand and confused. Well welcome to the club. That's a game men have been dealing to women for centuries. Please don't pretend that men are above it or haven't been doing just that for as long as we can remember.

 

We figure these things out in time, regardless of how stupid you think we are. No one wants to date, let alone form a relationship with or marry the "Three Faces of Eve."

 

I understand that and I think it's a fair concern. And it's a concern both genders are up against. I always question how a man really feels about women upon learning that he went to a strip club or likes to indulge in them while in a relationship. Or one that that views porn. I don't want the good guy facade only to be stuck with a man that isnt' really a good honorable guy. I don't want to be with a man that thought it was okay to use women for decades until he was ready to settle down. But alot of men do act this way today. It's a tough place to be in.

 

I guess something else you haven't thought too much about is that people have so many different qualities part of them that just because a man or woman slept around, doesn't infact mean that the ywon't settle down and commit when they meet that person that is special to them. People aren't always so black and white.

 

Men get tricked like this a few times and then we learn, and the social backlash many women are experiencing is only the tip of the iceberg, going to get much worse before better. I pity women from the younger generations, the ones, who, as far as I can tell, aren't being raised as daddy's little blameless, faultless princess. Men are opting out of their traditional roles -in droves-, as those roles have become so patently slanted that they are intolerable, or at least intolerably risky. Those younger generations of women are going to begin finding how seriously the well was poisoned by their mattress-backed, "you can have it all and still play the good girl with no accountability," privileged forbears, the attitudes of which are evident all over this thread and all over these forums.

 

Again, not an attitude that is only saved for girls. One that is much well alive in boys as well. Although you won't ever admit it because you could careless that there aren't that many great male prospects out there today either.

[stillafool]

It's not an exaggerration. We see it every day. I have a friend, whom I recently staid with, who has a literal caravan of women coming to give him BJs. He doesn't take them on dates, he doesn't court them. He just knows how to push their buttons. When they are done, they go right back to their BFs and husbands and put the nice girl mask back on.

 

You are obviously deluded about the average women's sexual habits these days. Women, at least the fat of the bell curve, are every bit as promiscuous as men ever were or have been these days. The only differences are that in the woman's case, it constitutes the sin of gluttony, and in the man's case, it doesn't, and men are not duplicitous about our nature and behaviors, women are.

 

 

This is downright nasty! I don't like cheaters and that is what these women are.

[SilkRose]

Let's see, I can get married again or enter a committed relationship in which I'll be expected to not only support myself but possibly also assist in supporting him, I'll be expected to keep up my own car, take turns with shoveling, mowing, yard work and household repair I'll be expected to do the bulk of cooking, cleaning, might be expected to assume stepmother duties. I'll be expected to provide him with sex eagerly and willingly when he wants it.. but to be supportive and accepting when he turns me down in favor of viewing porn. More importantly considering my age, chances are good that a new man would be 60 or approaching it, I would be saddled with the obligation to provide skilled caretaking should he become ill or infirm.

 

I had one marriage end badly, I'm paying a lot of alimony, I've finished supporting and rearing my children and have zero interest in rearing or supporting another set. I'm not interested in/ cannot afford commiting to any relationship which would render me legally or morally obligated to support anyone.

 

There is really nothing in remarriage or a committed relationship for me besides a lot of risks that I cannot afford. Friendly, social, no strings relationships with men in similar situations just works better for me.

 

Thanks for sharing your story. Its such a shame that that's how things worked out for you in terms of your marriage. Do you manage to seperate your emotions easily all the time? Do the men ever want more? Also where do you meet/find the men, are they friends? Thanks for your comments.

 

Name calling is name calling. No matter the justification.

 

When people do such things they are attempting to shame and belittle another person due to their own insecurties. People don't call other people names out of confidence.

 

 

Once again, well said. You really addressed so many issues. Thanks again!

[SilkRose]

Not so cool when women start to play your own game is it. And that's what it is about. Men have lost control and power in the 21 century and don't like that wome nare catching up to them in terms of sexual outlets. Lets think about in history for how long men have been fitting women into seperate catagories on who deserves what and when. Mistresses in one box, wives in another. Girls from porn in one box that can come out to play when he pleases. Wives and gfs in another box that can come out to play when he pleases. Strippers, female co-workers, the woman down the street, the woman who brings him coffee at his favorite diner....the women he meets and takes out to dinner just so he can sleep with her but has no intention of treating her seriously. Now women are playing that game too and it's made your world more rocky and harder to understand and confused. Well welcome to the club. That's a game men have been dealing to women for centuries. Please don't pretend that men are above it or haven't been doing just that for as long as we can remember.

 

Point well made.

[calizaggy]

 

 

 

 

So you want to blame me but you don't want to do the leg work to back yourself up. Let me help you out so it's not so taxing for you. qoute from Calizaguy:

 

Men will basically try to bang any girl or woman that will let them.. they cannot wait.. They are fantasizing about sex daily, and it is not involving "love" at all.

 

Now, what do you get from that? When a man says "girl or woman", what do you deduct from that? I know what most people would deduct. Now if he said just "girl", that could imply woman. If he just said "woman" , that's even more clear. But he said girl and woman. I'm not 100% what he means but if men are out there banging girls, that's a problem no?

 

 

 

 

My example that you quoted above was about how people lose their virginity which I clarified in a later post. Males are not thinking of love before they lose their virginity, and they would like to bang any girl or woman, is what I meant. Obviously I included girl because some guys lose their virginity at a young age with girls, but they would also bang older women as well.

 

Women on the other hand, typically give themselves to a guy they love to lose their virginity. Then later some turn slutty, or find a way to "flip a switch" as a poster said to block out their natural instincts, which would be connecting sex to love.

 

After online dating, I completely agree with Meerkat.. Girls were either banging me then having unfortunate guys take them out when they then act like "good girls", or once I would not take a girl out they would be clear that they "already have lovers" but want more from me..More as in chivalry, dates, a relationship etc.

 

As for men, women do not care about how many girls a guy slept with.. You can even see thousands of women lined up to bang rock stars and athletes if they are lucky enough..

 

The last time a girl asked me how many girls I slept with I just laughed and said something like "come on, who knows", and that made her laugh as well. Not important to women..I do not EVER need to lie, or cover up, or have split personalities to date a woman.