Do I tell my boyfriend that my EX will be at a wedding we are going to?

[KylieK]

I have been dating this guy for about 6 months now and can honestly say with every ounce of honesty in me that he is the best guy I have ever known. He is truly my perception of the perfect boyfriend. We share a lot in common and get along amazingly well. We spend a lot of time together and always have fun no matter what we do or where we are. It just seems like every day gets better and better with him, and he says the same things. We talk alot and have a very straightforward relationship. We oftentimes discuss the future and about things/events that are a year or more away. Overall, I can really see myself with this person for the long haul. Anyways, I have a slight problem and I was just kinda looking for an outsider's perspective.

 

In 5 months, one of my best friends from college is going to be getting married. Now, I have already invited him to the wedding. I will be a bridesmaid in the wedding. the problem is that my ex boyfriend, whom I dated for approximately a year will also be in the wedding on the groom's side (they are best friends). Now, my question is this: Do I tell my current boyfriend that one of my exes will be there at the wedding also? This relationship occurred over 2 years ago and was NOTHING in comparison to the relationship I am in now. There is not even a chance of comparing these 2 guys, they are so different and my feelings for my current bf at 6months are already above and beyond what my feelings were for my old bf at one year. Anyways, I am thinking of not even saying a word about my ex being at this wedding. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable or anything. But I also would hate it if he found out about it at the wedding. Maybe he would overhear someone say something, or somehow he would discover that we used to date.

 

Anyways, any advice on this matter would be appreciated. Thanks a lot!! =)

[befuddled11]

I say put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if the tables were turned and you found out, at the wedding, that one of your BF's exes was there......In fact, I can think if this type of situation happened to a lot of women, they'd be here at the Loveshack posting about how hurt/angry/jealous/suspicious they were about not being told :-)

 

If anyone, print off your post here to him......and let him read it. It couldn't be more honest and sincere than that :-)

 

I think he would feel less uncomfortable "knowing" than to find out after the fact.....

 

I also don't think, if you do decide to tell him, that you need to tell him NOW......wait until it's closer to the time of the wedding. Wait until your relationship isn't as new.....so that you'll both have more trust for one another, and he'll likely be more secure with the "knowledge." Telling him now just potentially gives him 5 months to stew about something that's not worth stewing over, ya know?

[midlifecrisis]

I agree... you should tell him, only because it is bound to come up anyway. I'm a guy, and personally, I would feel just a tad weird/jealous in a situation like this. If you think that your man might feel a bit that way, use the opportunity at the event to show him a little extra bit of attention. It is likely to make your relationship with him even stronger.... enjoy!

[VivianLee]

I would tell him but not make it a major deal when you tell him. How you react as you tell him will probably effect how he reacts. So say things like it's just a matter of fact or no big deal and I bet it will go smoothly. Good luck!