Loss of libido after break up

[jazzpur]

Guessing its just part of the depression that comes along with healing. Its been 2 months since the break up of a 3 year relationship(she downgraded in search of greener grass). I have my ups and downs but it seems as if my sex drive is disappearing now that ive been NC and ignoring all of her contact. I used to masturbate atleast once a day along with regular sex in the relationship....now, even with porn, im only at once or twice a week.

Im only 26 years old.

 

Ive since hung out with a couple girls ive always been attracted to and it seems as if my mind just looks for things that turn me off about them...really f**cked up...as if i dont even want to consider having sex with them, as i once fantisized.

 

I dont know if my body is seeking for the companionship to return or what, but i dont even feel like a man these past few weeks of NC

 

I have always worked out regularly, so i cant really use working out as a "kick-start" to testosterone levels. Im trying my best to get out an get mind off of things but its tough. I still wake up every morning with my ex on my mind....but never in a sexual way...just that my best friend is gone.

 

Im hoping this is normal, please share experiences and tips...

thanks

[Eisenhower]

I feel the same way. I'd built my ex up into the sexiest girl in the world and everything about her turned me on - to ridiculous levels, like her feet, her toes, her arms, lips ... everything. Not to mention that the sex was phenomenal. I just don't feel attracted to anyone else and can't imagine the sex being as good.

 

So, short answer - I don't know if it's normal, but I'm going through the same thing. I'm sure we'll come out of it eventually.

 

Good luck,

Eisenhower

[USMCHokie]

Me too. But it is what it is...

[LostInLimbo]

Guessing its just part of the depression that comes along with healing. Its been 2 months since the break up of a 3 year relationship(she downgraded in search of greener grass). I have my ups and downs but it seems as if my sex drive is disappearing now that ive been NC and ignoring all of her contact. I used to masturbate atleast once a day along with regular sex in the relationship....now, even with porn, im only at once or twice a week.

Im only 26 years old.

 

Ive since hung out with a couple girls ive always been attracted to and it seems as if my mind just looks for things that turn me off about them...really f**cked up...as if i dont even want to consider having sex with them, as i once fantisized.

 

I dont know if my body is seeking for the companionship to return or what, but i dont even feel like a man these past few weeks of NC

 

I have always worked out regularly, so i cant really use working out as a "kick-start" to testosterone levels. Im trying my best to get out an get mind off of things but its tough. I still wake up every morning with my ex on my mind....but never in a sexual way...just that my best friend is gone.

 

Im hoping this is normal, please share experiences and tips...

thanks

 

 

A month really isn't long, but time will pass where everything goes back to normal. When you say you've gone NC, do you have alot of things on your chest you wanna tell her? if so, you need to get it all out then go LC - NC, put the ball in her court, then take the rest of the time for yourself to heal.

 

It will work out.......hang in there

 

LiL

[CaliGuy]

This is all perfectly normal after a breakup. Your confidence has taken a hit. The one person that you were emotionally and physically invested in has left. You no longer have that connection.

 

It's kind of like your body won't produce dopamine unless you're with your ex. This is why people keep going back to exes and have "ex-sex". They want that release of dopamine which -- as long as they are still IN LOVE with their ex -- they only get with their ex.

 

This will go away when you heal and move on. You'll meet someone new and they'll fire off your hormones again. Don't sweat it. In the meantime, if you're sitting around the house on yer arse, that's a bad thing.

 

Get to the gym, work out at least 45 minutes a day, 5 days a week (perferably cardio and light weights) and eat healthy (no fatty/junk foods) and stay away from excess alcohol.

 

Being lazy, eating bad foods (or too much/not enough) and drinking drives you into depression.

 

Bottom line: Be disciplined and GOOD to yourself after a break up. It's the best way to heal faster and get on with your life. They'll be other women. Trust me, there always is...

[jazzpur]

LiL - ive said everything i needed to say, she made her choice, no logic involved...she never got to experience the 21 thing...now thats what she wants and she has a guy there to replace me. (i dont drink, and i grew out of the bar/club thing a few years ago)

shes since been sending me emails and texts about how much she misses me and, remember this, remember that, "i get so upset when i think about what happend with us"

she certainly having her doubts, logic is setting in... ive just been ignoring her contact...ball is still in my court.

 

Caliguy-great advice, my situation is kind of different than most... i dont have the desire to have sex with her anymore either...its almost like i just need friendship back. As time goes on im starting to relize i didnt want her anymore.... this mess is making me asexual.

 

Im still eating really well and lifting, but cardio would probably help a lot

 

still no morning wood since its happened...leave it to time i suppose

[LostInLimbo]

Hey Jazz

when I say Ball in her court, I meant you seemd to have done all you could possibly do, and don't go through the BS I went through, but keep up the confidence,as for CaliGuy, he does have alot of great advice, I have alot of my own posts in here and its a great forum for advice..

 

LiL