....... the right thing to do...?

[lilmo]

so im currently in a very confused state of mind. im 16 (junior) in hs and ive been in a relationship with this guy for almost three months. in the beginning i thought i rly loved him and we talked on the phone, 24/7 everyday till we were falling asleep at night. he finally asked me out after so long, and we never kissed until about the 3rd week. Everthing at that point was really cute and i thought i would want to be in a relationship with this guy for a long long time. but eversince that we started taking things rly fast ( although it seemed ok at the time). since we live nearby we had this whole thing planned out that he would sneak out of his house to see me on christmas eve. it was really fun i have to admit and it was fun. after that night we took turns going to each others houses until the morning and each time we would go a step further. i thought things were going ok and we liked each other alot. as weeks past we got more physical. by about the 10th time i went to his house, we had sex (which still dont know how to feel about. even at that moment something didnt feel right to me.)

 

a big reason it didnt feel right to me was because first of all i thought overall we were not ready for this kind of thing. to me, sex is a really big deal and its the kind of thing i would only do to someone i truly love and know i want to be with for as long as i can. but at the time there was already this problem that really bothered me and made me feel like i was getting used since our relationship wasnt going all taht well (besides the physical aspects we had been getting in to arguments and i was always upset).

 

so the problem is there is a girl he spends a lot of time with and she really likes him and is really close to him and they talk on the phone as much as we do. and we have already had arguments about this so many times and ive shown that i am really bothered about it but he doesnt try to do anything to stop. They hang out a lot and she is sopposedly really pretty. and it just really made me angry that he would keep spending time with her although i was annoyed by it and he know it hurt me. but he kept telling me he doesnt like her like he likes me and blabla that she is a nice girl. but its like he just doesnt get it..(its kind of like he keeps her around as back up).. and he asks me why i cant trust him but how can i trust him when he acts like this. its like asking him to like him when he doesnt even try to make this relationship work.... when i get mad at him he asks me what he did wrong and that he doesnt do anything physical with her, and that he just spends time with her. she even told him that she would wait for him. to me this whole thing is unacceptable . why cant he just tell her to leave us alone. and a part of me hate myself for just letting him walk all over me. so thats why i felt like i was being used with the physical stuff which made me even more alsdkflsdk.

ughhhh but somehow i have grown attatched to him.

 

so back to the physical stuff.... so he said he really wanted to do it and he said he loved me but honestly i dont think we were ready for it. since then our relation ship has gone downhill. because of all the things on my mind i kept saying i was 'confused' about the girl, about us, and about the physical things. and with the last couple of days we have grown distant. we dont call each other and it just feels really awful. i know i should break up with him but i dont know why i have this attachment with him and i miss being with him, i miss having him love me or kiss me. when im with him and he acts different to me a little bit( since i think he thinks that im going to break up with him) and i just miss seeing him laugh and just spending time with him and the good times we had ( even though there are a lot of things that seem are not working out for us... i know that when i break up with him he will probably just go out with the girl and that part really makes me sad and angry at the same time. i wish this never happened to us..

 

what should i do.? should i break up? and if i do what can i tell him....

 

(another thing that also made me confused was that through the last couple weeks ive just started to learn more about god and it was almost like a wake up call to me. i want to start becoming a christian and grow closer to god but the physical things in my relationship technically make me sinful..... it just doesnt feel ok for me to praise and worship and be at church while i go home do those physical things at night....o and my bf is also a christian but he doesnt really lead a religious lifestyle...)

[engravefeelthevoid]

heey there ud get replies if ur story was a little shorter it's tooo long people wont read it try to give a summarized version of it

[soulm8]

The right thing to do is to tell him you can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you. You tried to explain how his hanging out with the other girl makes you feel - and he doesn't care. He doesn't deserve to be your boyfriend.

[sid3]

Plus being a young guy, raging with hormones, hearing that your not keen on the physichal stuff will likely cause him to loose interest. Maybe not all high school boys think that way, but I know most do.