sfveggie Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 Really want to understand why women intentionally seek out prison pen pal relationships with violent criminals who will never get out of prison and with whom they fall madly in love and support and defend and give up their entire free life for, including sending prisoners all their money and remaining celibate and tolerating other women also getting love letters, etc... I'm especially curious how women can claim to be in love with and devoted to men they have never met in person. Insight? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 People have written books about this stuff. That's where you'd likely find your best answers. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 i did a co-op stint at a jail once; that's work experience to avoid any confusion! it's an interesting syndrome. try a forum called: prisontalk.com to hear personal stories from these women, and men. i find some of them actually shocking and enlightening. i feel very very blessed when i read many of them. they are absolutely strict on flamers and pathologizers, though, just a word to the wise. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 Considering my luck with the men I pick who are NOT convicted felons....how could I do any worse if I searched within the prison gates??? HAHA! sfveggie, Seriously, I've always thought that was a strange phenomenon as well. I guess if someone was looking for an 'emotional pen pal' (no pun intended)....that would be the place to look for one in. It certainly wouldn't be for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 It all goes back to the badboy thing. For example, look at Scott Peterson. He has all kinds of admirers. Some prison guards say that the inmates can get dates, easier than the guards can. Some women think that there is a possiblity that these convicts can actually be innocent and that the them against the world. They sometimes feel that it's their duty to rescue these badboys! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 Take for instance that evil wench Susan Smith (the one who purposely drowned her 2 little boys, though initially lying and saying it had been a "black man" who'd done it).....whatever prison she's in, she's got a personal-ad type profile there, looking for pen-pals......(I've seen it).......they even allowed her to put a nice picture of herself in there, hair all done, makeup, etc. (don't even get me started on how revolting that in itself is)......apparently she's had a million hits or something.....and tons of men writing to her, including hundreds of marriage proposals (now how sincere those were, I don't know). My God! The woman killed her own babies -- there couldn't be anything more heinous than that......and yet she's got men writing to her, thousands of them. As far as I'm concerned, she should not have the right to receive correspondence from the outside world. Her right for that should have died along with her poor innocent little babies. I think it's a crying shame when those who commit capital offenses (murder) have the right to solicit pen-pals. But don't even get me started on that..... As for why women do this, develop these kinds of relationships with men in prison.....I think there must be a whole lot of reasons. Yes, the "bad boy" allure is likely one of them. Also, these are likely women who have no self esteem, have had very dysfunctional childhoods/relationships/marriages.....their desire to be "needed" (even if it is misguided). Their need/desire to "have someone to fight for" likely gives them a sense of purpose. The list of possible reasons likely goes on.....I'm sure a psychologist would have a lot to say. Link to post Share on other sites
red-rose-in-winter Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 Also, these are likely women who have no self esteem, have had very dysfunctional childhoods/relationships/marriages.....their desire to be "needed" (even if it is misguided). Their need/desire to "have someone to fight for" likely gives them a sense of purpose. The list of possible reasons likely goes on.....I'm sure a psychologist would have a lot to say. Befuddled11, I think you answered the question with the quote above. I have a good friend who "dated" THREE inmates over a period of time. The first guy she "dated" was in prison for driving the getaway car in a robbery/rape case. She went to see him EVERY Sunday afternoon, baked him his favorite cookies, and wrote him letters. When he finally got out of prison (after about 3 years) she found out that he had another girl on the side the whole time she was coming to see him. That should've taught her a lesson about getting "hooked-up" with prisoners. Ok, the second guy she dated was on a work release program at the place she worked. They had a very rough relationship, so they broke up. Then she started seeing another prisoner on work release at the same place she was working at. He turned out to be a psycho!!! To this day I still don't see why in the world she would even consider dating a prisoner, when she could find a decent guy out of jail !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 Well, lets see: She is in control. She initiates all contact. She makes the decisions on how to handle her lifestyle, paying bills, etc. She has someone to fantasize about and enjoys sex her way. She can come and go as she pleases without having to answer to anyone She doesn't have to cook him dinner, or worry about him losing his job. If they have children she makes the decisions about child rearing She has someone to call her own She has someone who will sweet talk her and tell her what she wants to hear She has custody of the remote control and watches what she wants on TV In other words, she has him right where she wants him! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
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