Friend won't take husband's name

[Woggle]

Feminist might not be the same thing as misandrist but that is what most men and some women think of when they hear the F word. If feminists do not want to be thought of in this manner they should have never let the misandrists hijack their movement.

[bentnotbroken]

So the women I have dealt with are not real women? If so then what are they?

 

The people who stunted your emotional maturity.

[BlackLovely]

I never thought that changing my name to my husband's would mean that he owned me; he couldn't own me if I changed my name to 'Cabbage' or 'TwinklyBum Loves Her HubbyWubbykins,'

 

Thanks for the laugh dear!

[threebyfate]

A friend of mine is getting married. Her fiance is mad because she refuses to change her last name. She is 42, and has a career and a "name". Personally, if I get married I won't take my husband's name either.

I took my first husband's last name, even though I didn't want to but since it was important to him, did it anyways. After we got divorced, I changed it right back, ASAP! What a complete waste of time, changing my name was.

 

This time around, I didn't do it. While this was something my husband would have preferred, he understood why I didn't want to and respected my decision.

 

Hmmm...I see the difference between men, do you see the difference?

[Barky]

I'm very progressive and would never want a wife to change her name to mine.

 

However, from my own experience I have seen that women who refuse to change their names are a whole lot more likely to divorce their husbands than those who do.

[streetlamp]

I don't want to change my name either...but then I think my last name is still my father's name. I guess that could change in the next few generations as women opt to keep their own last names.

 

I also think it's great when people combine names or hyphenate. But then names get to be long or really weird.

 

Mostly, I think it's too much paperwork!

[Stung]

[/b]

 

Thanks for the laugh dear!

 

 

Anytime. BTW, October is a lovely month for a wedding.

[Tropic]

I am not changing it. As some previous posters said it used to indicate property. It is an outdated tradition. I like mine and I would feel losing a part of myself if I changed it. If it is a dealbreaker for the man, I would break up as he is sexist and not willing to compromise.

Plus if you get a divorce. . .

[Barky]

So if nobody changes their name, whose name do the children get? And if you hyphenate their last names, then what happens when they get married and have kids? After a couple of generations you'll have people with a dozen hyphenated words for their last names.

 

If everyone's too stubborn to change their name, I can't wait to see the fight over whose name the kids get!

[Tropic]

Actually if we were to have children someday (we have discussed it and we don't want any), I wouldn't mind them having his last name.

[Peter Attis]

i say to each their own, i don't think it should be required or banned either direction.

 

What does shock me however are the women who 'look down on' those who choose to take their husband's name. Really? Your opinions are so shallow that that is all it takes to make you think badly of someone? I'd hate to live with such a narrow, negative view of the world. I generally save my looking down for things like pedophiles, thieves, and people who watch jersey shore.

 

Last i checked my identity is who i am as a person, and while the last name may change, my strengths, attributes and reputation will not.

 

thank you.

[linwood]

I find this discussion humorous.

 

Women refusing to take a mans name(Husband) so they can continue to bear another mans name(Father).

Think about it.

 

This was never an issue with my marriage.

 

The only thing I ever heard my wife say on the topic was "Thank god I don`t have such a PITA signature anymore."

Her maiden name is ten letters Germanic.

 

My name is 4 letters 1 vowel.

 

She also wasn`t a big fan of her father so losing his name was a plus for her.

[Undine]

Okay. I find it humorous that people think a woman's name is not her own just because she got it from her dad.

 

Like some other posters I don't care what anybody does with their name or how attached they are personally to the symbol of their name or their husband's name, I think people should choose to do what makes sense for them. Still I don't understand how anyone can think the name I was given at birth from my father and grew up with my whole life is not my name. Makes zero sense. My husband got his name from his father too, but somehow his name is his name and my name is not my name? That's simply a logic fail.

[allina]

I am getting married this year and I still don't know if I will take my fiances last name. I can go either way and so can he. We definitely cannot combine or hyphenate because that would sound absurd in our situation (distinctly Polish and Indian last names )

 

If I don't take his last name it definitely won't be to make some sort of point, sometimes things just work out one way over another

[threebyfate]

I don't honestly care what other people do, whether they decide to change their name or not. But this second time around, after the first debacle, why bother with all the grief, for something that IMO, is meaningless. Our son will have my husband's last name, although we're toying around with a hyphenated one.

 

Hmmm...the more I think about it, the more I like the hyphenated last name. Our son's going to have fun with spelling, which to me, is a good thing. The more challenging, the more he'll learn to spell properly.

[Woggle]

I would like to see the divorce rates of women who kept their name vs women who did not.

[Stung]

Okay. I find it humorous that people think a woman's name is not her own just because she got it from her dad.

 

Like some other posters I don't care what anybody does with their name or how attached they are personally to the symbol of their name or their husband's name, I think people should choose to do what makes sense for them. Still I don't understand how anyone can think the name I was given at birth from my father and grew up with my whole life is not my name. Makes zero sense. My husband got his name from his father too, but somehow his name is his name and my name is not my name? That's simply a logic fail.

 

Thank you. I am consistently flummoxed by the poor logic in the 'man's name' argument.

[allina]

I would like to see the divorce rates of women who kept their name vs women who did not.

 

Feel free to conduct the study

 

Did your wife take your last name Woggle? I assume she did. Would it be a deal breaker for you if she didn't want to?

[Woggle]

Feel free to conduct the study

 

Did your wife take your last name Woggle? I assume she did. Would it be a deal breaker for you if she didn't want to?

 

She offered but I told her not to. The fact that she was willing meant a lot to me though.

[allina]

She offered but I told her not to. The fact that she was willing meant a lot to me though.

 

Ah, I see, I stand corrected then.

[threebyfate]

Woggle, if you're not going to post that survey, I will. I'm also curious.

[Woggle]

Ah, I see, I stand corrected then.

 

To me it is not about her having my name but about how commited she is to us. Feminists who utterly refuse to take some man's name are also more likely to treat the marriage as if it is disposable.

[bentnotbroken]

To me it is not about her having my name but about how commited she is to us. Feminists who utterly refuse to take some man's name are also more likely to treat the marriage as if it is disposable.

 

 

What do you call men who treat the marriage as disposable?

[allina]

To me it is not about her having my name but about how commited she is to us. Feminists who utterly refuse to take some man's name are also more likely to treat the marriage as if it is disposable.

 

I think I can agree to that.

[Woggle]

What do you call men who treat the marriage as disposable?

 

Women should stear clear of these men as well but nobody calls them misandrist for trying to better their odds while at the same time men are sexist if we want to better our odds of having a happy marriage that lasts.