bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 So those who know my story.. this has nothing to do with the latest ex who burned me (nicole). This is the previous ex who I established NC after dumping her (when she hurt me while she was abroad by hooking up with another guy - b/c a guy back home who is good friends with her told her 'lies' and told me 'lies'... ie she thought I broke up with her without telling her, etc, etc.. long ****ed up story...) ANYHOW... after a good 7-8 months of NC and her being scared I'd never speak to her again... (I found this out... really made me think)... I contacted her saying hi. 1 month later, we went out for coffee. Then we became close again, but just as 'best' friends. She told me she confides the most in me b/c she still feels our souls are connected and cares A LOT about me... and I told her I care about her, etc,etc... so... close friendship evolved. I was ok with it... she's "seeing" someone else and I'm fine with that. I was seeing my recent ex.. and she was like "oh" when she found out, but is happy the ex and I are no longer together... especially after hearing what the ex did to me. This ex-ex lets me know that I am an incredible guy and all that yadda and she doesn't want to lose me in her life, but she doesn't know where she's going and doesn't want a real relationship right now... ie, "seeing" this other guy (which again, I'm fine with)... but recently.. she's been acting funny...most notably.. ignoring me more... deleting posts off of her FB wall... etc... etc... telling me when it comes up that she isn't feeling this 'current' guy... I suspect 1. she feels she made a mistake by letting me back in or 2. she still has feelings for me and doesn't know how to handle it? I don't have feelings for her like this anymore and she knows it.... we've been separated for over a year now... women. EDIT: ok... talking to her right now about something I posted on her wall yesterday that she deleted.. how it inspired her. And I just found out she dumped this guy she had been "seeing"... not that this matters Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 She's deleting posts off of her facebook page? Are they from you or from him? If they are from him, then I can see that she means it when she says she isn't really feeling this new guy. If they are from you, she is obviously trying to hide something. The fact that she is ignoring you, means either 1- Her new fling found out and doesn't feel comfortable with it, or 2- She's having a hard time dealing with her emotions for you. Of course, it could be neither and she could just be living her life and not paying any notice to the amount of attention she is giving you. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Oh, hi there... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 She's deleting posts off of her facebook page? Are they from you or from him? If they are from him, then I can see that she means it when she says she isn't really feeling this new guy. If they are from you, she is obviously trying to hide something. The fact that she is ignoring you, means either 1- Her new fling found out and doesn't feel comfortable with it, or 2- She's having a hard time dealing with her emotions for you. Of course, it could be neither and she could just be living her life and not paying any notice to the amount of attention she is giving you. I you. Thanks Erica. hope you're feeling better. I'm trying not to read into it... I honestly could care less what she's doing.. it's just annoying. She let me know (just now) she dumped this other guy (see edit above)... we're texting currently... for the first time in over 2-3 weeks... when we first reconciled for a friendship we were veryclose... kinda strange... I trust her. I don't know why, but I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 Sweet.. another Rob, Erica, + Kelvin thread. I'll be back in like an hour though.. need to take care of a few things. hope you both are still on? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Hmmm...this certainly got interesting... Was this the one that you had the religious differences with...? If she came crawling back, would you push her away...? Or entertain thoughts of reconciliation...? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Sweet.. another Rob, Erica, + Kelvin thread. I'll be back in like an hour though.. need to take care of a few things. hope you both are still on? Hopefully it'll turn into the next Valentine's Day thread... Yea, I should be... Erica, you are not well...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 Hmmm...this certainly got interesting... Was this the one that you had the religious differences with...? If she came crawling back, would you push her away...? Or entertain thoughts of reconciliation...? The religion issue ex wants to go out for a drink with me when she comes back to amherst to visit... ...this is a more recent ex girl. the religion one is 3 years ago... wow. that long. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 The religion issue ex wants to go out for a drink with me when she comes back to amherst to visit... ...this is a more recent ex girl. the religion one is 3 years ago... wow. that long. Heh...they all just come out of hiding just like that, huh... Well, if this girl will always only be a friend in your mind and your heart, then there's no issue here...you shouldn't be analyzing and dwelling on sh*t that doesn't matter...if she's just a friend to you, treat her as a friend and stop overanalyzing every little thing that she does...especially on the damn Book... To be honest...I don't think you'd even think anything of her recent behavior unless you had repressed feelings for her that are now resurfacing since her return to your life...or you just spent way too much time on LS.... Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 I you. Thanks Erica. hope you're feeling better. I'm trying not to read into it... I honestly could care less what she's doing.. it's just annoying. She let me know (just now) she dumped this other guy (see edit above)... we're texting currently... for the first time in over 2-3 weeks... when we first reconciled for a friendship we were veryclose... kinda strange... I trust her. I don't know why, but I do. I know what you mean. I only date guys that I feel like I can trust (with the exception of the one i'm talking to now, even though I do trust him on some level, ahh different story). So when the ex's come back into the picture, whether it's platonic or romantic, not only do you have this sense of connection with them, but you are also able to trust them. Unless they've ruined your trust somehow, then that's usually the case. Are you basically trying to ask what her motives are? Have you explained to her that you don't feel the romantic connection anymore, but you would love to have her in your life as a good friend? If not, then I think that discussion should come soon. Before you find yourself in a very, very sticky situation. Hopefully it'll turn into the next Valentine's Day thread... Yea, I should be... Erica, you are not well...? Yes! We need a new thread! I'm alright, Kelvin. Thanks for asking. I was just dealing with a lot of crap with my ex, and I was pretty upset about it. Things have calmed down now though, after he posted this song on his FB page. I find it hilarious, even though it's extremely rude. Anyway, I don't mean to make this thread about me, just thought i'd update you. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Are you basically trying to ask what her motives are? Have you explained to her that you don't feel the romantic connection anymore, but you would love to have her in your life as a good friend? If not, then I think that discussion should come soon. Before you find yourself in a very, very sticky situation. I agree with this to an extent...but I wouldn't do it right away...if he truly thinks of her as merely a friend, then I don't think he even needs to have this conversation...just treat her as a friend...it would only be necessary if she comes out and wants a second chance... I don't think little acts on the Book or random texts here or there mean anything...I've tried to grow out of that stage where I analyze every little tidbit that someone does looking or hoping for a deeper meaning...that just adds undue stress over something that more often than not means nothing...however, more significant actions or patterns of behavior may justify further thought... Yes! We need a new thread! Word. I'm alright, Kelvin. Thanks for asking. I was just dealing with a lot of crap with my ex, and I was pretty upset about it. Things have calmed down now though, after he posted this song on his FB page. I find it hilarious, even though it's extremely rude. Anyway, I don't mean to make this thread about me, just thought i'd update you. Our threads are about all of us...so by all means...and I appreciate the update...been wondering how you've been anyway... Interesting song...I guess... Well, sometimes I'm jealous of those that at least have a chance to deal with the ex...but I understand how it can also be a sucky situation at the same time... Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 I agree with this to an extent...but I wouldn't do it right away...if he truly thinks of her as merely a friend, then I don't think he even needs to have this conversation...just treat her as a friend...it would only be necessary if she comes out and wants a second chance... I don't think little acts on the Book or random texts here or there mean anything...I've tried to grow out of that stage where I analyze every little tidbit that someone does looking or hoping for a deeper meaning...that just adds undue stress over something that more often than not means nothing...however, more significant actions or patterns of behavior may justify further thought...... FB is the devil. I can't help but analyze things, if it seems as though it could be a concern to me. As far as him waiting to talk to her about this, I do agree... but at the same time you wouldn't want him to lead her on even if he doesn't realize he is doing it. Good friends can be a recipe for disaster if one likes the other. Our threads are about all of us...so by all means...and I appreciate the update...been wondering how you've been anyway... Interesting song...I guess... Well, sometimes I'm jealous of those that at least have a chance to deal with the ex...but I understand how it can also be a sucky situation at the same time... I seriously do not consider myself a b*tch. I consider myself a girl that sticks up for what she believes in, ok... maybe that can be considered 'b*tchy', but I always take into consideration other peoples feelings. I go about it differently. For him to think i'm a b*tch just because I tell him how what he is doing is affecting me, is a little unrealistic in my mind. I think it's because his ex gfs never used to voice their opinion with him, which allowed him to walk all over them. They took it because they cared a lot about him. Well, I care a lot about him too but I refuse to allow myself to get walked all over. B*tch or not, if you are treating me in a way I don't feel is appropriate, you will know about it. I truly don't mean to rub it in that my ex and I are giving this another shot. If you get anything from all of the posts that I write about him, it should be the opposite effect. Sometimes I wonder if getting into a relationship with someone new would be a lot less stressful. I'm beginning to think that it would! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 FB is the devil. I can't help but analyze things, if it seems as though it could be a concern to me. Hahah, so true...yet I'm still contemplating making my triumphant return to the damn Book...I even started a stupid LS thread about it...how pathetic is that... As far as him waiting to talk to her about this, I do agree... but at the same time you wouldn't want him to lead her on even if he doesn't realize he is doing it. Good friends can be a recipe for disaster if one likes the other. True. It is definitely a very fine line he's walking on here. Both too soon or too late would certainly create awkwardness in the friendship...but based on the limited information provided, I think he's safe to proceed as normal...I don't think there's anything here to show that she's positively looking for more... Or it could just be impeccable timing of her breaking up with her boyfriend, Rob breaking up with his, the two of them getting back in contact, and the f'in moon and stars aligning...who knows... I seriously do not consider myself a b*tch. I consider myself a girl that sticks up for what she believes in, ok... maybe that can be considered 'b*tchy', but I always take into consideration other peoples feelings. I go about it differently. For him to think i'm a b*tch just because I tell him how what he is doing is affecting me, is a little unrealistic in my mind. I think it's because his ex gfs never used to voice their opinion with him, which allowed him to walk all over them. They took it because they cared a lot about him. Well, I care a lot about him too but I refuse to allow myself to get walked all over. B*tch or not, if you are treating me in a way I don't feel is appropriate, you will know about it. My ex had similar qualities to you in that regard...and many of my friends thought she was a bitch...very strong willed and independent...wasn't afraid to speak her mind...and I loved that about her...don't worry, it's a good character trait... I kind of have gotten a sense of the kind of guy he is...and it doesn't surprise me at all his reaction to your personality... I truly don't mean to rub it in that my ex and I are giving this another shot. If you get anything from all of the posts that I write about him, it should be the opposite effect. Sometimes I wonder if getting into a relationship with someone new would be a lot less stressful. I'm beginning to think that it would! Heheh, no worries! I'm not taking it like that at all! If only I could find someone new, that'd be f'in wonderful. But I understand how it feels to have that one person that will always be "the one" in your heart...and if there was a chance that I could be with that person again, I'd go through the sh*t to make it happen... Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Hahah, so true...yet I'm still contemplating making my triumphant return to the damn Book...I even started a stupid LS thread about it...how pathetic is that... It's soo addictive! If you do decide to get back on FB, look me and Rob up! True. It is definitely a very fine line he's walking on here. Both too soon or too late would certainly create awkwardness in the friendship...but based on the limited information provided, I think he's safe to proceed as normal...I don't think there's anything here to show that she's positively looking for more... Or it could just be impeccable timing of her breaking up with her boyfriend, Rob breaking up with his, the two of them getting back in contact, and the f'in moon and stars aligning...who knows... :lmao:!!! You're right though, I guess it's too early to tell. Rob, you'll have to keep us updated so we can get a better feel of where she is coming from. My ex had similar qualities to you in that regard...and many of my friends thought she was a bitch...very strong willed and independent...wasn't afraid to speak her mind...and I loved that about her...don't worry, it's a good character trait... I kind of have gotten a sense of the kind of guy he is...and it doesn't surprise me at all his reaction to your personality...... Oooohhh please tell! I'd love to hear how other people see him! And you are very right! A lot of his friends think i'm a bitch because of those same reasons. I'm like your ex in the regards that i'm strong willed. Most people take that the wrong way. To me, a bitch is someone who doesn't take others feelings into consideration. That's not me at all. I just voice my opinion when necessary! And thanks for saying that it's a good trait to have! I would have to agree with you! Heheh, no worries! I'm not taking it like that at all! If only I could find someone new, that'd be f'in wonderful. But I understand how it feels to have that one person that will always be "the one" in your heart...and if there was a chance that I could be with that person again, I'd go through the sh*t to make it happen... Agreed! I'm in that position now, trying to do everything I can to make it work. That has to be the mind frame you are in when re-entering into a previous relationship. If not, then it'll never work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 I was going to say... these threads are about the three of us... not about one of us. I'm sorry if I whine & bitch a lot... first time ever being used as a rebound... wasn't used to be used... it really made me feel disgusting, depressed, and ugh... Oh.. the ex-ex and I are in... *drum roll* NC again... and erica, i think I'm over thinking this b/c I want to rebound, but I refuse to... heh Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 I was going to say... these threads are about the three of us... not about one of us. Hooray! I'm sorry if I whine & bitch a lot... first time ever being used as a rebound... wasn't used to be used... it really made me feel disgusting, depressed, and ugh... You'll get over it...you're a big boy... Oh.. the ex-ex and I are in... *drum roll* NC again... Uh...wat...? Explain... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 Hooray! Party! You'll get over it...you're a big boy... One day.. I'll grow up. Uh...wat...? Explain... The ex-ex and I were talking... one comment led to anothr and voila... oh well. i'm over it. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 I was going to say... these threads are about the three of us... not about one of us. I'm sorry if I whine & bitch a lot... first time ever being used as a rebound... wasn't used to be used... it really made me feel disgusting, depressed, and ugh... Oh.. the ex-ex and I are in... *drum roll* NC again... and erica, i think I'm over thinking this b/c I want to rebound, but I refuse to... heh You are venting Rob. Everyone needs to vent. And it's even better when people are there to listen to it! We all have been in your situation, we know what you are going through and we also know that you will come out of it if you allow yourself to. Why are you and your ex NC again? What happened? Kudos to you for not rebounding!! You remember what that did to you when you were the rebound. You don't want to put someone else in that position, too. But you know that already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 in love with this song now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QInLZugs20 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 It's soo addictive! If you do decide to get back on FB, look me and Rob up! I certainly will! Oooohhh please tell! I'd love to hear how other people see him! I'd have to go through those two big threads you have to formulate a coherent response to this one... And you are very right! A lot of his friends think i'm a bitch because of those same reasons. I'm like your ex in the regards that i'm strong willed. Most people take that the wrong way. To me, a bitch is someone who doesn't take others feelings into consideration. That's not me at all. I just voice my opinion when necessary! And thanks for saying that it's a good trait to have! I would have to agree with you! I only speak the truth...and I think people in general are way too sensitive...we need more people like you who are willing to say it like it is...I guess I'm very much the same way...a man-bitch, if you will... Agreed! I'm in that position now, trying to do everything I can to make it work. That has to be the mind frame you are in when re-entering into a previous relationship. If not, then it'll never work. Yep...it certainly takes a lot of work, but at the same time, it is often important to approach it as a brand new relationship...however, I know how hard and/or impossible that is given the history... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 Erica.. I wish my ex was like you (4 months ago....) Strong willed and out spoken. Instead she hides behind facebook and 2 states away now. heh. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 The ex-ex and I were talking... one comment led to anothr and voila... oh well. i'm over it. I see...well, no worries then... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bananaboat11 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 I don't know why, but I LOVE the motorola superbowl commercial w/ megan fox LOL And kelvin, definitely look me up on FB~! NOW. GET IT. k. good Link to post Share on other sites
DenverBachelor Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Ahh the circle of life. When one ex says goodbye, a previous ex says hello. Sooner or later, when you collect enough ex's, they become like cockroaches -- for every one you see come out of the woodwork, there are a dozen more crawling around unseen. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Erica.. I wish my ex was like you (4 months ago....) Strong willed and out spoken. Instead she hides behind facebook and 2 states away now. heh. One of the reasons I ditched Facebook for a while...felt like I was hiding behind it and not really living 'real life', as it were...and I kind of wanted to drop off the radar for a bit... But yea, Erica is pretty awesome though, isn't she? But not as awesome as you, Rob...with your certifications and abs...and leatherbound books...and furniture that smells of rich mahogany... Link to post Share on other sites
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