don't know what to think

[BOBBY]

ok, im 23 and i was dating this girl Kim for 2 years, she is 17. We both fell in love with each other and planned on a future together. I was her first BF. About 2 months ago she told me that she just wants to be friends. I told her that it bothered me to bad and that i was just going to go out and find me someone new. OK, so i did i met this girl Arin 21YO and we started dateing. Me and Kim seen each other at the store the other day and we started talking. I realized that im stil head over heels in love with Kim. I told her that i was dating someone and she acted kinda jealous. Then i broke up with Arin. Kim acted happy that me and Arin broke up. I asked Kim out to the carnival and she was very happy to go. By the way, Kim is a virgin and she has never been real emotional. Her parents really like me alot. When i went to pick her up, she was in the next room and me and her mom was talking. Her mom knows how much i like Kim and her and Kim are REAL close. Her mom told me that if i want to spend the rest of my life with Kim, that i was going to have to wait for her and to take things slow. Me and Kim had a blast at the Carnival. She seen a friend of hers there and she hung out with us. Her friend kept flirting with me and Kim acted like she was getting mad. She wanted me to dance with her but Kim jumped in and said "no he can't dance with you" When we left she said that her friend was a slut and that most of her friends are like that. I have been around other friends of hers and they have flirted with me too but i have never flirted back. She acts really jealous even though we are not dating (she is the one that broke up with me) She is always teasing me saying that i like Arin or other girls and laughing(all of them are ugly or fat and i let her know that i don't like any of them) Why she does that, i don't know. I not sure on what to do. My problem is that im soo much in love with Kim that i would die for her and i want to spend the rest of my life with her. I pretty much worship the ground she walks on. I think she knows how much i like her but im not sure. She tells me that im her best friend. I would wait on her a million years if i knew we would always be together. I know 100% fact that she is not talking to any other guys. I want to be with her forever. Im sooo confused on what to do. How do i found out what she wants or what she is thinking?, she acts like im her property and that i belong to her when we are out together. I know that she cares about me or she wouldn't get so jealous about other girls. I want me and her to be dateing again and i want to get closer to her. If anyone can make any since out of this, then PLEASE give me some advise on what to do. Can any females relate to what she is thinking? How do i win her heart? Its so hard to figure girls out, especially this one.

[Randy]

Kim is very young, very inexperienced and very immature.

 

She gets jealous because, while she does not want a forever relationship with you right now, she would like you to remain a free agent in the event she should want to date you sometime in the future. In other words, she would like you to be around for her just in case (like a spare tire).

 

Sticking around waiting for a chick her age to grow up and become ready for a lifelong relationship is definitely not something you want to do, unless you are prepared to waste a lot of time and be extremely heartbroken. She could fall in love many times before she is ready to settle down.

 

Also, many young ladies her age will purposely not like guys their parents like. So her mother getting chummy with you could actually act against you. Having her mother dislike you would probably be more in your favor as far as a 17-year-old going for you is concerned.

 

This whole situation has many more complications than can be written about here. But the bottom line is the odds weigh heavilly against you being in any kind of meaningful relationship with this gal in four or five years.

 

Meantime, she seems to know exactly what to do to manipulate your actions and your feelings and to keep you hanging around waiting. What is it like to have your life totally controlled by a girl six years younger than you?

[magicklady]

Has Kim said if she wants to be with you again or not. She had suggested before that you guys be friends.. maybe that is what she is trying to be now. As far as the jealousy thing goes, most women don't want someone to be with the man that they loved... it is a kind of ego thing for most of us I think... we don't want anyone to hold the place in your heart that we held even if we aren't with you anymore. Jealousy is not a good thing even in a friendship. It sounds like she found out you were dating someone else and couldn't stand it so she incerted herself into your life again. I don't know the whole story on the break up so I can not be 100% sure of her feelings for you. The best thing you can do is not call her to much .. basically don't be a push over even though you love her. Let things roll off of your chest and if she is still not going to make any real commitment.. MOVE on.. you sound like a really sweet guy.. but most of the time you can't go back.. it is easier to go forward than in reverse.. Good luck with all of it doll and I hope everything works out for the best..